What Happened?
by athmann18
Summary: Alice and Bella had been best friends but one day it was like there friendship never happened. 10 years later Bella gets a call saying Alice is in trouble again She is determined to find out what happened 10 years ago. Human, read preface bad at summaries
1. Preface

As I sat there next to the hospital bed occupied by … a friend, acquaintance, chum, neighbor? I didn't know what to call her. What do you call a person that you best friends with for years but haven't seen or talked to in over ten years. We had been so much more than all of those, we were almost like sisters. At that time I didn't know what to call her and I didn't know what had compelled me to drive the four and a half hours to Forks Hospital but most of all I didn't know what compelled me to stay. The only thing that I knew for sure as I watched her small frail chest rise and fall with help of a ventilator was that we had been so close for such a long time and then one day it was gone…I guess things changed. I remember seeing her make so many wrong decisions and forget about me or maybe in her eyes it was the other way around but as I sat there I honestly couldn't figure out what had happened all those years ago.

I guess we had both moved on. I was married now, and had a beautiful little boy. As I sat there I tired to think of what she had been up to over the years and couldn't help but wonder if she had followed any of her dreams that we had discussed or had those dreams changed over the years, just like us. I soon thought of my husband, Edward sitting at home with our newborn son. I though of what I may be missing, I felt extremely sad to be missing this time with my family and I was about to leave to go home when I felt a strong magnetic pull, dragging me back to the chair that had been my resting place for the past six hours. I wasn't sure what compelled me to stay, but I wanted to find out.

So I took the seat next to her bed and started at the beginning. 13 years ago…


	2. Introductions

**Hey ok so if you ever see Amanda/Mandy its supposed to be Alice and if you see Allison its Bella. I'm sorry its by total accident and it's a long story why. I noticed I did that in the last chapter, but changed it. So again for any future times, I'm sorry. **

I smiled at this memory, but was quickly pulled away from it, by a quick, mysterious beeping noise; I looked around and saw nothing wrong with the monitors she was hooked up to. But I soon realized that it was my cell, it had a strange way of randomly changing the ring tone without help of human fingers, so I always surprised when it rang.

I looked at the caller ID, it was Edward. I was expecting a call from him sooner or later. I mean he had never been alone with our son or a baby for that matter for more than an hour or two. And it didn't help that I had given birth only two weeks ago and Noah spent a week in the NICU because he was born a month and a half early, so Edward hasn't really had time to practice being alone with James alone yet.

"Hey baby" I answered

"He won't stop crying, I'm exhausted and I don't have a clue what to do!!" Edward screamed frantically, I could also hear James crying in the background. I couldn't help but smile, thinking of the face that my husband was probably portraying right now was priceless.

"Calm down honey, take a deep breath" He did as I told him "What have you all tried?" I asked.

"Well he woke up about an hour ago and I tried rocking him back to sleep but he just doesn't want to go back to sleep" he muttered

I smiled and looked at my watch, Oh my god! It was two in the morning, wow. "Edward did you try feeding him? He's probably hungry"

"No" he mumbled sheepishly.

I rolled my eyes. Don't get me wrong I loved my husband, he is an amazing man who is smart, sweet and such a gentleman, but when it came to babies he was clueless.

I get out a little giggle, "Just give him a bottle and call me if that doesn't work."

"Thanks love, when are you coming home, I miss you"

"I don't know right now, but I'll call you later with more details, I'm still trying to make sense of all of this."

"Ok baby just don't take to long I need you here."

"Alright, Love you"

"Love you" he responded, I closed my cell. I smiled, it didn't madder how many time he told me that I would never get over the shock of it. Someone loves me, something a couple years back I never thought possible.

I got up to look at this stranger; she was covered in bruises and scraps from head to toe, I grimaced. I was suddenly remembered the day that I got the first call that Mandy was in trouble…

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It had been the hardest thing for me to do, to say goodbye. Over the summer Alice and I had spent almost everyday together. We would go to movies, swim at our neighbor pool, baby-sit the younger Newton kids and of course, shopping - Alice's favorite pastime. I wasn't too crazy about shopping but if we were together, it was always fun.

Alice had only come to stay with the Newtons for the summer and summer was coming dangerously close to the end. So she had to go back to live with her mother, who I would say wasn't exactly the best role model.

She was constantly moving which was very hard on Alice, she also would leave Alice and her sister Cynthia home alone for days at a time, even when they were not old enough to be alone.

She was also a drunk and when stressed, did various types of drugs; such as cocaine, marijuana and sometimes even meth.

Child services had stepped in after their father died, but at that time it looked like their mother was cleaning up her act, so nothing was done.

Alice didn't really like to talk about it and I never really asked, but I always wondered why she had wanted to spend a three months away from her friends and family at home. And a week after she left I realized why.

It was around midnight when I heard the squealing of tires outside my bedroom window. Not long after that our phone rang.

"Hello?" my mom answered sleepily.

"Renee, It's Bobbie" It was the classic Bobbie greeting, I smiled and Bobbie continued, "I need to run down to the cities, Alice is in trouble"

My smile immediately turned to a frown. I knew that I shouldn't have been listening to this conversation but when I heard my best friends name I couldn't help but listen in.

"I left Laura in charge but if they need anything I told them to call you. Is that alright?" Bobbie continued.

Laura was Bobbies oldest, she was a year older than me and a year younger than Alice. When Laura wasn't being shoved off to the numerous camps Bobbie had signed her up for that summer, she hung around with me and Alice.

We were like the three musketeers. It was great, but at that moment I was scared to think of what might happen to our third musketeer.

Renee responded, "Of course Bobbie, what's going on? Is there anything I can do? What happened? How…"

She was cut off when Bobbie replied, "No being there is enough, I'll call you when I know more. Thanks Renee, I have to run, bye" And the line went dead.

I was worried sick. I didn't sleep at all that night, I mostly cried. When Renee crawled into my bed beside me drawing large circles on my back, trying to comfort me I barely noticed. My thoughts were with my friend.

_**Bringgggg, ringggggg**_, I froze as I saw who it was…Bobbie Newton.

**Review Please! ******


	3. Trouble

**Hey ok so if you ever see Amanda/Mandy its supposed to be Alice and if you see Allison its Bella. I'm sorry its by total accident and it's a long story why. I noticed I did that in the last chapter, but changed it. So again for any future times, I'm sorry. **

I smiled at this memory, but was quickly pulled away from it, by a quick, mysterious beeping noise; I looked around and saw nothing wrong with the monitors she was hooked up to. But I soon realized that it was my cell, it had a strange way of randomly changing the ring tone without help of human fingers, so I always surprised when it rang.

I looked at the caller ID, it was Edward. I was expecting a call from him sooner or later. I mean he had never been alone with our son or a baby for that matter for more than an hour or two. And it didn't help that I had given birth only two weeks ago and James spent a week in the NICU because he was born a month and a half early, so Edward hasn't really had time to practice being alone with James alone yet.

"Hey baby" I answered

"He won't stop crying, I'm exhausted and I don't have a clue what to do!!" Edward screamed frantically, I could also hear James crying in the background. I couldn't help but smile, thinking of the face that my husband was probably portraying right now was priceless.

"Calm down honey, take a deep breath" He did as I told him "What have you all tried?" I asked.

"Well he woke up about an hour ago and I tried rocking him back to sleep but he just doesn't want to go back to sleep" he muttered

I smiled and looked at my watch, Oh my god! It was two in the morning, wow. "Edward did you try feeding him? He's probably hungry"

"No" he mumbled sheepishly.

I rolled my eyes. Don't get me wrong I loved my husband, he is an amazing man who is smart, sweet and such a gentleman, but when it came to babies he was clueless.

I get out a little giggle, "Just give him a bottle and call me if that doesn't work."

"Thanks love, when are you coming home, I miss you"

"I don't know right now, but I'll call you later with more details, I'm still trying to make sense of all of this."

"Ok baby just don't take to long I need you here."

"Alright, Love you"

"Love you" he responded, I closed my cell. I smiled, it didn't madder how many time he told me that I would never get over the shock of it. Someone loves me, something a couple years back I never thought possible.

I got up to look at this stranger; she was covered in bruises and scraps from head to toe, I grimaced. I was suddenly remembered the day that I got the first call that Mandy was in trouble…

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It had been the hardest thing for me to do, to say goodbye. Over the summer Alice and I had spent almost everyday together. We would go to movies, swim at our neighbor pool, baby-sit the younger Newton kids and of course, shopping - Alice's favorite pastime. I wasn't too crazy about shopping but if we were together, it was always fun.

Alice had only come to stay with the Newtons for the summer and summer was coming dangerously close to the end. So she had to go back to live with her mother, who I would say wasn't exactly the best role model.

She was constantly moving which was very hard on Alice, she also would leave Alice and her sister Cynthia home alone for days at a time, even when they were not old enough to be alone.

She was also a drunk and when stressed, did various types of drugs; such as cocaine, marijuana and sometimes even meth.

Child services had stepped in after their father died, but at that time it looked like their mother was cleaning up her act, so nothing was done.

Alice didn't really like to talk about it and I never really asked, but I always wondered why she had wanted to spend a three months away from her friends and family at home. And a week after she left I realized why.

It was around midnight when I heard the squealing of tires outside my bedroom window. Not long after that our phone rang.

"Hello?" my mom answered sleepily.

"Renee, It's Bobbie" It was the classic Bobbie greeting, I smiled and Bobbie continued, "I need to run down to the cities, Alice is in trouble"

My smile immediately turned to a frown. I knew that I shouldn't have been listening to this conversation but when I heard my best friends name I couldn't help but listen in.

"I left Laura in charge but if they need anything I told them to call you. Is that alright?" Bobbie continued.

Laura was Bobbies oldest, she was a year older than me and a year younger than Alice. When Laura wasn't being shoved off to the numerous camps Bobbie had signed her up for that summer, she hung around with me and Alice.

We were like the three musketeers. It was great, but at that moment I was scared to think of what might happen to our third musketeer.

Renee responded, "Of course Bobbie, what's going on? Is there anything I can do? What happened? How…"

She was cut off when Bobbie replied, "No being there is enough, I'll call you when I know more. Thanks Renee, I have to run, bye" And the line went dead.

I was worried sick. I didn't sleep at all that night, I mostly cried. When Renee crawled into my bed beside me drawing large circles on my back, trying to comfort me I barely noticed. My thoughts were with my friend.

_**Bringgggg, ringggggg**_, I froze as I saw who it was…Bobbie Newton.

**Review Please! ******


	4. Solutions

That night I didn't find out anything more than that everything was fine for the moment and that Alice had come back to the Newtons for the time being. Bobbie refused to give us any more information and told us that I could talk to Alice in the morning.

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"Alice, seriously what happened last night" I asked as we sat on the front porch of the Newtons. I saw her eyes tear up. I leaned over, to hug her, but she winced. I wasn't expecting that, I immediately pulled away.

She gave me a weak smile and lifted her sleeves to explain her pain. She was covered with cuts and bruises. I felt my eyes tear up along with hers. I wanted to be strong for her so I tried to hold them back.

"You see my mom wanted to borrow money from me, probably to go get some booze or drugs" she started "And I wouldn't let her because I don't have that kind of money and she never pays me back."

I knew Alice's financial problems, she loved to shop which didn't help her, but everything she had she paid for by herself. And at that time, that is what I thought her reason was for staying with the Newtons over summer, for her to make some money, but little did I know.

I gave her an encouraging smile and she continued, "She became angry and ran out, slamming the door behind her. Of course forgetting about me and Cynthia, so I made us dinner and we went to bed. At about three in the morning she came home, with no surprise, drunk and she…she ---" Alice couldn't continue, she put her face in her hand and bawled.

I put my arm around her and tried to sooth her the best I could. And after about fifteen or twenty minutes she gave me a weak smile and continued.

"You see she has never been the nicest when drunk, but if she is angry on top of that, you don't want to get in her way." I grimaced at the thought of it. "I heard my door open, but I pretended that I was asleep, hoping that she would just go to bed herself, but she had a different idea. I felt a hard slap on my face and then she was on top of me…" Alice began sobbing again, but she didn't have to finish. I knew what had happened, her mom beat her.

I pulled my best friend into a tight embrace, I never wanted to let go of her, I wanted to sit there and protect her forever. It didn't madder that I was almost three years younger than her and everything at the moment was complete backwards. All I wanted to be the strong one and protect her. I didn't want to ever have to worry about Alice being alone with her mother again.

Alice is very petite; she isn't even five feet tall and weighs less than ninety pounds. There isn't much to her and it wouldn't take much to hurt her.

I couldn't hold in my tears in any longer. They poured out of me like a waterfall.

I have no idea how long we sat, both crying, hugging and soothing each other, but I knew that I would never let her go back, ever.

As we sat there, one question kept popping up in my brain. I didn't feel it was appropriate to ask at the moment, but I needed to know the answer, so as our crying slowly subsided, I slowly looked up at her and whispered, "Alice, there is just one thing on my mind you don't have to answer it if you don't want to. Ok?" She gave me a quick nod and I continued, "Is this the reason you came here this summer, to get away from her?"

I looked her straight in the eye and I could tell that debating weather to tell me or not and after what seemed like hours she mumbled a quiet, "Yes".

She turned her head to look at the pavement and continued, "Cynthia has been taken away and can only visit one weekend a month"

She turned to look at me again and I just stared back, I didn't know what to say or do so I just sat there, staring. But it didn't take long for her to continue to tell me more, "This summer Cynthia went to live with some relatives, she informed them of what has been going on. So they are now letting her stay with them, but they don't want me" She cried.

I could tell that this was hard for her to explain to me and I wanted to tell her she didn't have to continue, but before I could say anything, she put her hand in front of my mouth and said, "No, I want to get this out".

I was amazing how we could do that, read each others thoughts or finish each others sentences.

This strange little connection usually made us burst into laughter, but this was not the time for laughter.

"Bella, please help me" She started, and I knew what she meant, it was just I didn't know how to at that time. It's not like I could just pick her up, support her, figure everything out and make it ok. Even if that's what I really wanted, I mean come on, I was only twelve.

That day we didn't do a lot of talking. We mostly sat around crying and comforting each other. I was glad to have my friend back, the only problem was I didn't know how long this would last.

But I did know one thing; together we would find a way. I didn't know what it was yet, although I knew we would find it and she would never have to go back, at least as long as I could help it.


	5. Hope

The next day I woke up on the floor, realizing that I must have fallen asleep in the Newton's basement. I looked up at the couch and saw that Alice had to.

I didn't want to wake her. I sat there and thought about yesterday for a while. I thought about what we might be able to do, were she might be able to go.

I already knew my place was out of the question, Renee was engaged to her boyfriend of five years, Phil. And they were going to get married in a few short months. The last thing she would want is another teenager in the house.

Soon Mike ran down the steps, it sounded like a heard of elephants and as he got to the end he missed the last step and slid right to his butt.

I couldn't help but laugh, at first I tried to hold it back, but I couldn't help it I. After yesterday I needed a little humor and this was just the remedy.

Mike gave me a dirty glare, as if to say _"not funny." _But that just made me laugh even harder. He let out an aggravated groan and I just smiled. He had just made my day so much better.

Alice began to stir and I knew we had just awaken her, either by the heard of elephants running down the steps or my laughing.

"Bella? What are you doing here?" Alice asked groggily, "Did we fall asleep down here?" she asked as she took in her surrounding.

"That's the conclusion I came to." As we both smiled and hugged again.

For me not really being a hugging kind of person, I past couple days had given me more than my fair share.

"I hate to break up the little pow wow down here" Mike spoke, "But mom wants to speak with you, Alice."

She gave me a panicked look. My face probably mirrored it but I gave her the best smile I could muster and whispered, "Go."

I sat back on the couch, to wait for Alice, but as to my surprise. She grabbed my hand and yanked me up, "You're coming with me" she murmured with tears in her eyes.

Mike gave Alice an encouraging smile and gave me the cold shoulder, probably from laughing at him early. I just gave him a playful punch and continued up the steps.

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Alice and I sat at the large kitchen table, directly across from Bobbie. She seemed nervous, like she was about to give us some bad news. But then there would be a flash on her face that looked as if everything was alright.

I sat there impatiently, squeezing Alice's hand every time a frown appeared on her face; to remind her that I was there for her, no madder what.

Bobbie turned slowly to look at us, took a dramatic pause and began, "Girls, I understand what your going through and that you want Alice to stay here" we nodded "The only thing is we already have five kids and only 2 bedrooms for them to share. The state won't let us take Alice in unless we can make sure that there are only two children to a bedroom. We just don't have room."

I squeezed Alice's hand tighter as she looked up at the ceiling, fighting back tears. We sat in silence, to shocked to think or speak.

I thought that was it, Alice had to leave. She didn't have another place to go. She didn't know anyone else here. The only people she met here over the summer were the Newtons and myself. Since both options failed, I gave up hope.

However, Bobbie still had something she wasn't telling us. She waited, to let the information we just receive sink in.

Then continued, "But the Carlisle Cullen called me this morning when he heard about what happened."

Wow nothing went unnoticed in this little town. I guess that's what you get when you live in Forks, Washington where everyone knows everyone and everything about them. It was stocker like almost, but I guess that's what happened when there is nothing to do but sit around and gossip. And that is exactly these people what people did.

"Wait Carlisle Cullen, like as in Dr. Cullen?" I asked impatiently "What would he want? Why would he call you about Alice?" I probably sounded pretty rude, but I didn't care, I wanted information.

I gave Alice a glare like _"Do you know anything about this?"_ She gave me a shrug.

Bobbie continued, "Hold your horses, let me finish. Dr. and Mrs. Cullen have offered for Alice to come stay with them. At least for the school year or until everything back at home gets figured out."

Bobbie put her hand on top of Alice's. "They have two boys Alice, around your age. Emmett is 16 and Edward 15. Esme has always wanted a girl and they have taken others in before who were in your same situation."

Alice looked confused, "Why me…why….why would they want me to come live with them? I have never talked to them, or seen them for that madder and they're willing to just welcome me into there home just like that. I don't get it."

"Alice, there's more to it than that, you see, when Esme was younger. Her father was a drunk and he beat her mother, he would never harm her or her siblings, but she was always afraid he would." Bobbie mumbled, "I suppose she always wished that there was somewhere her to run to, to get away, someone who would love her and care for her. And Alice that is exactly how she treats her children and the ones she takes in. She is a wonderful mother and very caring. They are willing to do anything for you. They will help you with whatever you need and give you whatever you want. They are very generous. And I know that this is a lot to take in right now, but please just think about it. They can give you opportunities that you never dreamed possible. Alice, just think about it." And with that Bobbie got up and left us alone think and to talk in private.

As we sat there I thought of what had just happened. I thought about how Alice and I had thought that there were no more options and given up.

We had done that a lot in the past couple of weeks; when we left each other, when Bobbie went to get Alice, when she returned, when we learned that she couldn't stay with me or the Newtons and so many more. But after all of this, I realized that you must never give up. There is always hope.

Hope is something that many people ditch at the first sign of a dead end. They open up the window, toss it out, step on the gas peddle to get away as fast as they can, they run and don't go back. They forget, but you must never give up on hope, you must never forget it, for it comes back at the least likely of times and places. You could be struggling for years and feel so down on yourself, but you have to believe that one day someone will come to save you. And when that happens your hope is restored, but you should give up in the first place, because hope will never give up on you.

Alice and I had proven that, time after time. She now had these strangers offering a better life, after she thought there was no hope in the world.

We sat together in silence for a while.

Alice was the first one to speak, "I think I should go."

"Alice go where? Go home? Go to the Cullens?" I asked baffled.

"I think I want to go live with the Cullens. I mean he's a doctor so he's probably nice and he has two boys. One's even my age!! You never know they could be cute!" she smiled.

_Alice was back!_ I thought, always her, trying to find the hottest guy in the crowd. I think it was her favorite pastime, well second to shopping that is. Nothing in her mind was better than that. Shopping was heaven on earth.

I laughed and hugged her, "Alice, your amazing." She smiled "If that's what you really want Alice, go for it. You know that I want you to stay in Forks, but it's totally your decision. I'm not going to force anything on you."

"Bella, this is what I want" She grabbed my hand patting it on certain words, as if to stress what she was saying "if it means staying here with you and staying away from…from her." Alice had stopped saying her name since our conversation on the steps yesterday. "Then yes, this is what I really want. I'll move in with, them you know how adventures. This is just a new one, which just happens to be more life changing."

I smiled, she was staying. My best friend was staying! No madder what I thought of, I couldn't wipe the stupid grin off my face and either could Alice.

"Alice just promise me one thing"

"Anything for you Bella"

I was serious now, I wiped the silly grin off my face and looked her square in the eye, "Promise me you will never get up hope again. It just makes everything worse. Through thick and thin, just promise me that you will always have hope."

"Bella, after today, I don't think that will be a problem." I let out of sign of relief and giggled like I was a four year old sharing secrets about a cootie coved boy with a friend.

Alice started in soon too. In the end we ended up on the floor, rolling in laughter. We both had no idea why we were laughing, which made us laugh even harder. We were rolling around laughing, forgetting about the past and only looking to the future.

Alice would be moving in with the Cullens in a couple of days and official start her life over, here in Forks, where life would be good again, as far as we knew.

**I want to know what you guys think! Review please, thanks to all who have read this!**


	6. I think I'm going to like it here

**I keep forgetting to put this so…Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters, Stephenie Meyer does. This is for the entire story because I will forget to do it. Enjoy!**

"Alice come on, everything is out of your closet. You have searched every inch it, inspected every crevice and dismantled all the selves. Twenty times over! You are NOT leaving any of your clothes behind. Don't worry" I shouted annoyed.

Alice and I were packing up her stuff at her mom's house and getting her ready to move it with the Cullens.

She had been combing through every inch of her closet for the past hour. It had taken her less than fifteen minutes to throw her entire room into boxes, but when it came to her closet. Everything had to be perfect and nothing, absolutely nothing could be left behind.

Alice would official be moving in with the Cullens as soon as we were done packing.

I could tell she was nervous but I didn't know if she was nervous because she was back at her moms or if she was nervous about meeting the Cullens.

Well technically she wasn't just meeting them, last week Alice and I went out to dinner with Emmett and Esme, to get to know them better and make this transition easier.

Emmett was hilarious, he was just like the big brother I never had. I knew that we would get along great.

Esme seemed nice too. She was so kind and just looked like she was always meant to be a mother.

She even bought a Coach purse for both Alice and I. Just for going and meeting them.

Bobbie wasn't kidding when she said they were generous!

"Ok, I think I've got everything. Did you put those boxes…?"

"Alice your clothes are safe in the back seat of the van. If you want I can buckle them in with the seatbelts so they would be safe if we get in an accident" I joked.

"That's not a bad idea, hmmm yea lets do it" Alice said, she was dead serious.

"Oh come on Alice, get real, your clothes will be fine. Let's get out of here and get you into that mansion the Cullens own."

Her smile faded into a look of panic and fear. We grabbed the last boxes. I put my arm around her shoulders as she took a last look at her room. Alice let out a little sigh; we turned around and walked out of the house together. I prayed we would never come back.

The entire ride back to Forks was a quiet one. Alice looked like she may be sick, Bobbie looked nervous and I probably didn't look any better.

"Alice you ready for this?" Bobbie asked with a fake smile.

Alice gave a quick nod and turned looked out the window, watching the trees and houses flash by us.

"Alice what do you think Edward will look like?" I said trying to ease the tension and nervousness that was rising "I mean Emmett was pretty hot and strong and Edward is only a year younger right? Which means you guys are the same age, you may be one lucky girl."

"Oh I know" my plan worked, her mood seemed to brighten "I'm already for sure living with one hot guy, but they are brothers. And if Edward looks anything like Emmett, oh man I may never leave that house again."

"Well long as I can visit you, it's fine with me. It doesn't seem that bad, being locked in a house with hot guys running around"

Alice laughed, "Bella you're not even a teenager yet, the way you're talking about boys. Woh! I'll have to keep an eye on you!"

Little did she know that this conversation was only for her benefit. These guys are fifteen and sixteen, I'm only twelve. I didn't have a chance and I didn't really want to. I hadn't hit that boy crazy stage yet. I mean I thought some boys were cute, but I wasn't looking for a boyfriend or anything.

This conversation continued until we turned into a twisted private road. We sat in silence, the road seem to go on forever.

All along the sides of this tiny one-way drive was a think dense forest. As we got closer to the house the forest thinned and soon opened up to reveal a large bright house, that had large window around the entire left side that overlooked a beautiful little creek.

Bobbie cut the engine, but no one moved. We all had our mouths hanging open, taking in the three story mansion.

I heard the door to the house open but couldn't turn to look to see who it was. I was too stunned to turn my head. Almost immediately the car door was open and Esme hugged Alice, whose mouth was still agape.

"Alice, I'm so happy you're here. I've been outnumbered for far too long. It will be nice to have another girl around here." Esme said bubbly.

"Yeah, thanks for letting me stay with you. It's really nice of you." Alice mumbled, still not talking her eyes off of the house.

"We're happy to have you Alice. Should we get you unpacked? We had a room done for you last week."

"Esme you didn't have to do that all I need is a place to crash and keep my stuff. I would be fine with a closet and a couch."

"We would never make you sleep on a couch. Come on, let's get this stuff upstairs."

"Um, yeah ok" Alice said before she took her eyes off the house to get out of the car. I followed.

Alice didn't have much stuff; with the help of Emmett it only took all of us one trip to get it all upstairs.

"Alice it's the third door on the right" Esme said as we lugged the boxes up three flights of stairs. "Go on, open it" Esme encouraged.

Alice looked at me hesitant at first; I smiled and pushed her forward. She put her hand on the door knob, took a pause.

"Can we hurry this up please? I'm kind of carrying five boxes that pile up to twice my height" Emmett cried.

"You look like a pretty strong guy Emmett. You're only caring clothes how heavy could it be?" I asked with a sudden boast of confidence.

Ever since I met Alice, I wasn't as self cautious and I wasn't as hesitant to speak my mind.

"Yeah coming from the pip squeak that took the smallest box and a suit case on wheels, what does that weigh, like ten pounds?" I stuck my tongue out at him. "Oh no, I'm frail little Bella, I'm going to break if I lift anything. Oh look I broke a nail. Boo Who."

"Shut up Emmett" I squealed.

While Emmett and I were fighting Alice, Bobbie and Esme had entered Alice's room. I took the first step and stopped.

It had to be one of the best rooms in the house! It had a king size bed in its own little area, private bathroom, its own living room with a flat screen and a fireplace. But Alice's favorite which is probably were she was now, was that it had its own private walk in closet.

I set my box down and walked to the closet, where I found Alice. She was twirling around and smiling like crazy.

"Isn't this great?" Alice beamed.

"Yeah, the closet is probably bigger than my entire room!" It was true this closet had 4 separate areas already stocked with brand new clothes.

"I hope you don't mind, but Emmett's girlfriend bought you some clothes" Esme said shyly. Some clothes? Some clothes would be a couple of shirts and a pretty dress. This was a fucking wardrobe.

Emmett smiled, "Yeah, Rosalie kind of went overboard. I asked her to get something nice to give Alice and she went out and got all this."

Alice just stood there with a smile as long as the Mississippi River, unable to speak. She ran to Emmett and gave him a bear hug. If she would have ran to Esme like that, she would have pushed her over, but Emmett's a big guy.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she repeated over and over. As she calmed she went over to Esme and gave her a big hug too.

"Alright I suppose we should let you unpack, come on Emmett. We'll be downstairs. Carlisle will be home at five, he is dieing to meet you. Come down whenever" Esme told us.

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Bobbie stayed for awhile to help unpack some things and make sure Alice had everything she would need, but by the look of her closet, she wouldn't be needing much.

"I should probably get going girls, Bella do you need a ride home?" Bobbie asked as she got ready to leave.

Alice gave me a pleading look. "I think I'll be fine, Renee or Phil should be home all night, I can call them."

"Alright, I'll see you girls later. And Alice remember, if you need anything at all feel free to call. We will always be there for you."

"Thanks Bobbie" Alice gave her a hug and a small peck on the check. We all got a little teary eyed, but Bobbie never liked people to see her cry so with one swift movement, she was at the door, turning around for a last goodbye and a little wave.

"Bye Bobbie" Alice and I said in unison. We laughed and turned back to the boxes.

"Where do you think Edward is?" Alice asked as we tried to squeeze the clothes Alice brought with her into her already packed closet.

"I don't know, maybe he's at a friends or something. It's weird that Esme didn't mention him. I mean she told us that Carlisle will be home at five, but didn't even mention her other son."

"Yeah…wow this Rosalie has good taste" Alice squealed as she pulled out a cute little blue dress that falls to your knees and has a sash that ties around the middle.

"I think I'm going to like it here" Alice sang to the tune of the Anne song.

I snickered, "Oh Alice, you would. Hey what time is it?"

"Um it's…5:30." She looked up at me with horrified eyes, "Bella we were suppose to meet Carlisle at five! O crap what are they going to think of me?"

"Alice calm down, they would have called you if was super important, they have to realize that you are unpacking all your stuff. It is so easy to loose track of time. Don't worry."

"Let go!" she said as she dragged me out the door, down the three flights of step to the main floor, where I stopped in my tracks.

There I saw a bronze god, sitting next to Esme and who I assumed was Carlisle. He looked angry and Esme looked frustrated.

"Oh Alice, Bella this is Edward" Esme tried to say cheerfully.

Edward stopped and glared at me. I looked down to see if I had something on my shirt, I came up with nothing.

He looked up to face me and gave me the most heartwarming smile I had ever seen. It wasn't a normal even smile, it was a little crooked but it was amazing.

"Hi" He mumbled, he started to walk over to me and my heart stopped. There was a quick honk, he turned and ran out the door to a waiting car.

But as he got to the door he turned and took one last look at us standing there, confused. He gave me his crooked smile and I melted right there. It was wonderful.

"He isn't the one for small talk" the man next to Esme said, "I'm Carlisle, you must be Bella" He said extending a hand for me to shake, "And you must be the lovely young lady staying with us" He smiled as he shook Alice's hand.

"Yep, I'm Alice, I guess you'll have to put up with me for awhile" she said. I was always amazed how she was so friendly, to anyone; I secretly wished I could be that way.

"Oh, it will be nice to have a girl for awhile. I don't think anything can be worse then Emmett and Edward. You can stay as long as you want."

"Thank you" Alice said humbly.

We stood their in awkward silence for awhile. I noticed how good looking both Esme and Carlisle were. No wonder their sons were hot. I felt extremely plan next to them, but yet I felt like I was home here. It was weird.

"Are you girls hungry?" Carlisle asked breaking the silence.

"YES!" Alice jumped, we hadn't eaten since yesterday at lunch; we were both starving.

"Alice did the Newtons never feed you? We mention food and you just about jump out of your skin" Emmett boomed. He was standing in the doorway with his arm around a beautiful platinum blonde.

Alice gave him a death glare and he backed off.

"I was thinking we would go out tonight, I don't feel like cooking" Esme smiled.

"That sounds good" Carlisle approved. "Emmett why don't you take the girls and your mother and I will meet you there."

Emmett nodded and waved for us to follow.

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That night at dinner I learned that the platinum blonde was Rosalie, Emmett's girlfriend. I had a great time but I couldn't help but wonder were Edward was. He seemed so mysterious.

Alice brought him up once but Carlisle brushed it off saying something about football practice or something.

That night when I went to bed I dreamt of Edward. I once asked Alice how you know if you like someone. She told me that when you are awake he is all you can think about and when you close your eyes you dream of him and you together.

That's the night that I first realized that I liked Edward Cullen.

**I didn't like this chapter, I think I'm going to skip ahead in time soon anyway. I tried to fit as much as I could into this chapter. I just don't like it, but I may need it for the future. Anyway REVIEW! **


	7. Some people wait forever

Coincidence enough, Renee and Phil were getting married tomorrow, September 13, my thirteenth birthday, which also marked the one month anniversary of Alice moving in with the Cullens.

Renee was nervous about the wedding. She was nervous that it wouldn't work out and end just the same way her marriage with Charlie ended. She had cold feet.

She thought that it maybe wasn't such a good idea to get married on my birthday. She thought it wouldn't be fair to me and that she should change the date.

I assured her time and time again that it was fine and that tomorrow was about her and Phil. My birthday could be celebrated later.

The truth was, I didn't care if she forgot about my birthday. I wasn't much for presents. I never got the concept of giving gifts to people on the day that you passed out of their mother's womb.

It would be perfectly fine if my birthday passed over this year without anyone noticing.

Alice was spending the night at my house, trying to help calm Renee's nerves.

"Don't worry it will be fine. You love Phil and he loves you" Alice encouraged.

"Yeah but.." Renee started.

"No buts! You are going to walk down that isle tomorrow and get married to the guy of your dreams! You will have a happy life with him and your beautiful daughter." Alice smiled and looked at me.

Renee signed, "I guess, Bella you've been so supportive of me. I couldn't have asked for a better daughter. I'm supposed to be the grownup teaching you guys this stuff. I should be the one giving the pep talks. Instead it's the other way around. I couldn't have asked for anyone better to have as a daughter or a friend."

I smiled. It had always been like that. I have always been the responsible one, pushing Renee to go out and have fun, encouraging her, making sure the bills got paid or just lending a shoulder for her to cry on.

Even though our relationship wasn't exactly a typical mother daughter relationship, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

"You know what, I don't think I could ask for a better mom" I grinned. Renee got teary eyed and put her hands on top of mine.

She shook her head and smiled, "You know what? I'm hungry. Anyone else want pancakes?"

"Um hate to break it to you Renee but it's four in the morning and you're getting married tomorrow" Alice stated.

"All the more reason to do it!" Renee shrieked, "After tomorrow there will be a guy running around this house and we will never be able to make pancakes with just us three at four in the morning." Alice and I stared at each other. "Come on girls, it's my last night being single. Being my bridesmaids you should at least eat pancakes with me."

Alice and I were Renee's only bridesmaids for the wedding. I was the maid of honor and Phil's best friend high school was the best man.

"Actually pancakes sound pretty good" I said smugly.

Renee jumped up and got to work. Renee's cooking was always a scary thought. She liked to make her own creations and she very seldom used a recipe. But tonight I was going to go crazy with her.

Renee added chocolate chips, sugar and chocolate syrup. Alice searched our cupboards and came up with sour patch kids and blueberries. Not knowing that all these things would be added into the same batter I grabbed a bag of gummy worms and a king sized Butterfinger.

Each of these things separate would have made delicious pancakes, but Renee being herself had to mix it all together. She called them Sour Chocolate Gummy Pancakes.

We all sat at the table with our Sour Chocolate Gummy Pancakes. Alice and I looked back and forth from each other to the pancakes.

"Alright, on the count of three, dig in. Ready? One, two, EAT!" Renee screamed.

We all took one bite and pushed out plates to the center of the table and laughed.

They tasted like the name we gave them. Some nasty sour chocolate with chunks of gooey worms mixed into a single pancake.

"I guess we can cross creative cooks off the list of future careers" Alice joked.

I nodded and looked at Renee, whose head was bobbing up and down. "I think we should get her to bed."

"Yeah probably, come on Renee lets go to bed" Alice stated as she tried to help Renee to her feet.

"Come on mom, you don't want to be tried tomorrow"

She moaned and shuffled her feet to her bedroom.

Alice and I followed her and went to bed ourselves.

The next morning it took Alice and me four hours to get Renee out of bed and we couldn't even do it ourselves.

We tried to call Phil, but he didn't answer so we called Emmett. He laughed and said he would be right over.

"Renee come on, it's your wedding day! Lets get up and get ready! You don't want to be late to your own wedding would you?" Alice said as she shook Renee back and forth.

I heard a quick nock at the door. "Finally!" we both yelled in relief and ran to get the door.

I opened the door quickly, "Hey Emm…"

"Edward?" Alice said more like a question. Edward was standing in the doorway soaking wet. I saw a car speed off into the distance.

"Um yeah" He said scratching his head.

"I thought Emmett was coming" I mumbled.

"Well he was, but then Carlisle needed him so he sent me instead.

"It doesn't madder; just help us get Renee up!" Alice shouted.

When we got into Renee's room she had her head under the covers and was holding them tight against her body.

"Renee, time to wake up" his sweet musical voice rang. I never noticed how magical his voice was. It made me go weak in the knees.

"We already tried that Edward we need someone to pick her up and put her on her feet or something!" Alice screamed, she wasn't exactly a patient person.

"Renee if you don't get up now, I'll be forced to go carry you out into the rain" He said trying to be stern, but his voice just rang like a thousand little bells.

She flinched a little, but still no significant progress.

"You leave me no choice then" He smiled and lifted her over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes.

He made it to the kitchen when Renee finally pulled through, "You are not going to bring me into that rain young man!" she shrieked.

"Ah thank god! She lives" Alice said sarcastically.

"Edward put me down. I'm a grown woman I don't need someone to carry me around like this" Renee said.

"Only if you promise not to go back to bed and you go with Bella and Alice to get ready" Edward smiled. He knew Renee; he was trying to help us.

Renee seemed to hesitate, but one look into Edward's emerald green eyes and she melted, "Fine, let's get ready girls."

"That's all we ask" Alice said relieved.

With that Edward dropped Renee to her feet and Alice pulled her into the bedroom to get dressed.

I stood there awkwardly in front of Edward in sweets and an old T-shirt. "Well um thanks for that" I said clearly uncomfortable.

"It was nothing, glad I could help with something" he smiled that amazing crooked smile.

"Yep, so are you coming to the wedding?" I said trying to keep the conversation going.

"I think so, I mean Alice considers you guys family and I consider her family so it would make sense."

"Yeah it would. It will probably all be older people though, not much fun" I said truthfully. Renee and Phil were both in there mid thirties so most of the people that were invited were around that age too.

"We can make it fun" He winked.

"Oh really, whose we?"

"Yeah, you, me, Alice, Emmett and Rose, it's not a party until Emmett break dances. Trust me there is never a dull moment with him."

I laughed, from the time I had spent with Emmett that was true. He could always make you laugh, no madder your mood.

"You guys should probably get ready and I probably should too. See you later then?" He assumed.

"Yeah see you later" I blushed.

"Save me a dance?" he asked as he got his shoes on.

I was shocked. Did Edward Cullen just ask me to save HIM a dance? I blushed a color of pink I didn't know existed and nodded.

"Great!" he smiled, he seemed truly happy with my answer. "And Bella" he added.

"Yes" I responded feeling the warmth drain from my face.

"Happy Birthday" He smiled and ran out the door.

If any of the color had faded from my face it was back now and with vengeance, at least six shades redder than before.

The rest of the morning pasted uneventfully. Alice, Renee and I got our hair and make-up down and went to pick up our dresses.

We got to the church fifteen minutes before the ceremony was supposed to start. Thanks to Renee's late start this morning.

She blamed it on us for letting her stay up late. She said that we should have known that she is an old woman who doesn't have the stamina to bounce back like us teenagers do. We weren't going to fight her so we let her blame it on us, just because it was supposed to be her special day.

The wedding went off without a hitch. I made it safely down the isle without tripping over anything. Phil and Renee both said their vows without hesitation and I made it back up the isle with only a stumble. And for me that was a total success.

I saw Edward sitting in the front pew with his family and to my surprise, no date. My heart sped up and I wanted to jump for joy, but I kept my cool, since I was in front of a church full of people.

The reception also went very well. There was plenty of food, toasts, kisses and love. Renee was so happy and I knew that this was a good thing for her.

The dancing started with the traditional first dance of the bride and groom. But of course it couldn't be a traditional song, Renee and Phil weren't much for traditional. They chose I'm a Believer by Smash Mouth.

Because they are now believers in love, I know it sounds corny, but so are Renee and Phil.

I hadn't told anyone about me and Edward's conversation early because I didn't want to jinx it.

I looked around to see if I could find him. I saw Esme and Carlisle sitting and talking to Phil's parents. Emmett and Rosalie were dancing like fools all over the dance floor, Alice was with me but I couldn't find Edward.

A thousand different situations went through my head. Maybe he changed his mind, maybe he was in the bathroom, maybe something came up. Alice grabbed me and pulled me to the dance floor.

"You're going to dance with me!" she ordered in the tone of a drill sergeant.

"Alice you know I can't dance…" I started. I can't dance! What was I going to do? I thought. I'll step all over Edward's toes, crap!

Seeing the distress on my face she calmed down and tried to comfort me, "What's wrong? Did I say something?"

I shook my head trying to seem brighter, "No it's nothing, um will you teach me how to dance?" At least maybe I'll do better if I practice.

"Yeah sure, Is this for a guy?" she smiled.

I stared at my feet, unable to answer.

"IT IS!" she squealed, "Is it Mike?" I shook my head "Eric? Tyler?" I shook my head again. "Then who? Who's left…Jake? Edward?"

I didn't answer.

"Which one Bella! Jacob or Edward?" She grabbed my dress and pulled me closer. "Tell – me – now" she said slowly.

But I didn't have to answer her because Edward showed up behind her. He was my savior. "Can I cut in?" He asked in his velvet voice.

Alice's face lit up with surprise. She let go of me and stepped back to let Edward take over.

"You look beautiful tonight" he whispered in my ear.

I blushed and turned my head to look at my feet.

He put his finger under my chin and lifted my face to meet his, "First rule of dancing, never look at your feet. It will only make it harder and if you look at the ground your partner can't into those beautiful brown eyes of yours."

I blushed; my face became so hot that it felt like it would explode.

I keep stumbling and I was getting frustrated. Edward could tell. He wrapped his arms tighter around me and lifted me up.

"Edward what are you doing?" I asked in surprise.

"Just wait" he mumbled and then set me on top of his feet and led me around the dance floor. Well more like carried. I blushed even redder. He was so sweet.

The music slowly morphed into a slower melody, something I recognized, A moment Like This, by Kelly Clarkson.

Leaned my head into his chest and breathed in the sweetest sent I had ever smelt before. I never wanted to leave him.

"Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this" he sang. I looked up at him and stared into those emerald green orbs. He stared back at me with his amazing crooked smile. He placed his cold hand on my cheek and continued, "Everything changes, but beauty remains. Something so tender I cant explain. Well I may be dreaming but til I awake..Can we make the dream last forever? And I'll cherish all the love we share for a moment like this."

I smiled and felt my face flush, was he singing this for me? My heart melted and my knees began to shake. I started to sway but his strong muscular arms caught me. I grinned like a fool.

He pulled me back a little and said, "Stay here, I'll be right back" and ran out the door.

I stood there dumbfounded. What was that about? But in about a half a minute he was back, with a little black box in his hand.

"Happy Birthday Bella" he said quietly and gave me my favorite smile.

I took the small box from him and opened it. It was beautiful, a small golden heart shaped pendent attached to a frail golden chain.

"Turn it over" he smiled. I did as he said, and it was engraved on the back, with very small letters.

Happy 13th Birthday! Your new family, CEEREA. Standing for Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie and Alice.

I felt my eyes well up with tears, "Edward this is too much" I stated truthfully.

"No Bella it's not. You're an amazing girl and you helped Alice through one of the most difficult times in her life. You helped lead her to us." He laughed, "Esme hasn't been this happy in a long time. She always wanted a house full of kids but was never able to. Alice being with us has been the best thing for our family. She has made us closer. We will never be able to thank you enough."

I tried to let it all sink in, but was overwhelmed with emotions. I ran into Edwards arms and cried tears of joy.

I was wanted somewhere, people appreciated me. During the course of my life I had never felt that way. It was nice for a change.

The song came to an end with the last words being perfect for my life. "I cant believe its happening to me. Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this" I murmmered into Edwards shirt as he twilrled us around the dance floor again.

"Edward dipped me and pulled me to him again. He whispered "For a moment like this" in my ear.

Edward and I danced until 2 am through slow songs and fast. It was nice just to be in his arms.

We were only inturupted when Emmett and Jacob, my childhood friend wanted to dance with me, but soon as one song was done, Edward would come and find me.

Alice had found a someone at thet wedding to keep her entertained. His name was Jasper and he was somehow related or knew Phil. I didn't really pay attention to the details because I was still going through my night in my head.

It was wonderful. He was wonderful.

I couldn' t get that song out of my head, I hummed the melody to A Moment Like This over and over until I fell asleep.

Some people wait a life time for a moment like this.

**Ok sorry it's taken me awhile. But I live in Minnesota and it's been -48****O****F without wind-chill and with it's about -66****O****F with it and it's been snowing like crazy. My school hasn't been canceled or late once during this week or year for that madder and I've had to shovel the driveway and roof. Along with doing all of my homework. **

**If your city/state has closes down when you get a couple inches of snow or it gets below -20, you have no idea what cold is. **

**Think about this, there is 100 degree difference between outside and my refrigerator! So right now the fridge feels warm! I will give anything for 30****O****F. It may sound crazy but it's true.**

**Sorry had to get that out. It's too cold!**

**Thanks for reading, Review!**


	8. Different Pasts

**I apologize for any spelling/grammar errors; I didn't edit this so I could get it out faster.**

"Bella are you sure that you'll be ok?" Renee asked.

"Mom I'll be fine, you and Phil will only be gone for two weeks." I assured her.

They were going to Europe for two weeks for their honeymoon and leaving me with the Cullens.

"Renee she is in good hands, don't worry. You're only a phone call away if needed" Esme assured her, "Enjoy your honeymoon; it will be over before you know it."

Renee nodded her head in acceptance and pulled me into a tight embrace. She whispered in my ear, "If you need anything at all, just call me Bella."

"I will mom" I murmured.

"We should probably get going Renee, unless you want to spend the night in the airport" Phil laughed. He was prefect for her in so many ways. He never pushed Renee to do things and he let her make her own decisions in her own time, everything was always up to her. She always had the last word and that's what she liked.

"Yeah, you're right" Renee turned to Phil who put his arm around her. "Esme, Carlisle thank you so much for letting Bella stay here with you" she said sincerely.

"We're happy to have her. She is a sweet girl." Carlisle smiled.

Renee looked like she was about to cry but also looked happy with Carlisle last comment, "I Love you Bella, see you in a couple weeks."

"Love you too mom" and with that they were out the door, running through the rain to Phil's suburban.

I watched them through the picture glass windows until they were out of sight. I saw Renee's sad and frighten face turn into one of joy and excitement with one word from Phil. I knew he was going to make her happy.

I sighed and turned to see that the entire Cullen family was watching too.

Edward stepped forward and hugged me. I had no idea why he was doing this but it felt nice to be in his arms.

"So Bella what do you want to do today? I was thinking that maybe Emmett can take you guys somewhere today" Carlisle spoke.

"Um I don't know" I turned to look at Alice who was exchanging glances with Rosalie.

She looked at me and then back to Rosalie and they both shouted, "Shopping!"

Emmett's face turned to one of anger and dread, "NO! I am not following you guys around the mall again. Carrying all of your bags like a like a chauffeur" he screamed.

"If that's what Bella wants to do then, yes you will." Carlisle said sternly. Emmett bowed his head in defeat, not wanting to fight with his father. "Bella it's your decision, is that what you want?"

"Oh please Bella. Please please please" Alice and Rosalie begged.

I looked to Emmett who was begging in his own silent way. I smiled wondering how long I should let this go on for when I heard the most magnificent laugh, musical almost. I turned to see Edward laughing behind me. I gave him an evil glare.

"I'm sorry" he laughed, "but look around. Alice is giving you the puppy eyes and then look at Em, he's trying to mimic it!"

I had to admit it was pretty funny. Emmett was down on his knees with his bottom lip hanging out and eyes budging out of his head. "Be strong Bella" he begged.

I hadn't looked at Alice yet because I knew I would give in. She must have sensed it because she scooted to my feet and stared up at me.

"Why do you have to do this to me Alice?" I shook my head.

"Because you love me and want me to be happy" she answered flawlessly.

I looked over to Emmett and laughed he was too big to pull off the puppy look. He had to find his own secret method to get his way. Alice blocked my view and I knew I couldn't fight her. "Sorry Emmett, Alice is impossible to resist."

Alice jumped up and hugged me and ran over to Rosalie who started babbling about some store that was having a sale or something.

Emmett slowly walked over to me, "Way to be strong" he complained.

"Hey give her a break, you can't even resist Alice's puppy pout" Edward backed me up.

"What ever" Emmett mumbled and went to the kitchen.

I turned to look up at Edward, he was smiling my favorite smile. It made me smile like an idiot, "Are you going to come with us?"

He looked down at me with a surprised face, "Um, I didn't really think about it. Do you want me to go?"

"I don't know" I lied, of course I wanted him to come "Alice and Rosalie are going to be insane and I'll get sick of them after a while and I don't think Emmett's to happy with me right know."

His smiled widen, "You didn't answer my question, do you want me to go?"

I blushed; he knew my answer I didn't have to tell him. He just wanted to hear it from me. "Yes" I mumbled weakly.

He put his hand up to his ear and leaned into me, "What, what was that? I couldn't hear you."

"Yes" I mumbled slightly above a whisper.

"Sorry didn't catch that."  
"You heard me you dumb ass" I shouted. He exploded out in laughter, I wanted to be mad at him but his laugh was so prefect that all I could do was smile.

After a while we all piled into Emmett's jeep and drove to Port Angles. I decided on the drive that I would hang out with Alice and Rose as along as I could tolerate them and then I would go running to Edward.

The drive was long but Emmett kept us entertained with jokes and impressions. My checks hurt from smiling and laughing.

Since I met Alice my life had done a total flip. I used to be the girl that would hide in the corner with a book. I was scared to meet new people and I never opened up to anyone. I had few friends but I rarely did anything with them outside of school.

Alice had changed that. I had only know her for four months but in that four months she changed me into a person who no longer cares what people think about her and if she acted stupid around her friends, because I knew that no madder what I would always have them.

Even though Rose, Alice and Edward were three years older than me and Emmett was four, it never bothered me or them. I just as much a part of their lives as they were in mine.

When we arrived at the mall Rose and Alice started running toward their favorite store. Alice had me by the wrist so I had to run too, which isn't a good thing for me, epically in a public place.

When we reached some designer store Alice let go of me and started digging through racks and shelves, tossing me different things that she thought I would like.

It took Emmett and Edward a good ten minutes to catch up with us. It was probably by choice but I'll never know. They sat by the exit in the nice green comfortable looking chairs. Which are probably put there for the men that get dragged into the store and have to wait for hours until there girlfriends are done shopping. And to tell you the truth I was jealous of them, I would give anything to sit there with them, instead of trying on thousands of jeans and dresses.

Rose grabbed my hand, "Let's go try this stuff on you can stare at Edward later." I blushed; I wasn't meaning to stare at him. Rose threw me into a dressing room.

"Bella come and let us see each thing you try on. I want to see you in something that actually fits you" Alice said through the door.

Great I thought. This was going to be a long day.

I grabbed the first thing on the pile Alice had given me. It was a light blue v-neck sweeter. It was nicer than what I usually wear, but it was still something that I could see myself in.

As I slipped it on, I noticed the price tag. I just about started hyperventilating, "Alice have you seen the prices on these things!"

I screamed over the door.

"No but they're designer Bella. They won't be as cheep as the sweats you buy at Target. But everything's on sale."

"SALE! You kidding me even if this sweater was 50% off I wouldn't be able to afford it!"

"Bella just let us see it" Rose spoke calmly.

I sighed and opened the door. They gasped.

"Bella you're getting that!" Alice said sternly.

"Alice I just told you that even if it was half this price I couldn't afford it."

"Well how much is it?" she asked gently.

"$259" They both looked at each other and then back at me.

"Well it is designer Bella and cashmere. It's not that bad of a price" Rose said gingerly.

"Then you come up with a way to pay for it" I sassed back at her.

"Take a chill pill Bell, I have a way to pay for this" Alice said smugly.

"And how may that be?" I inquired.

"Well before your mom and Phil left, Phil told me to get you whatever you want while they're gone. As a birthday gift slash thanks for letting me marry your mom gift."

"1st of all I don't want anything for my birthday and 2nd, I don't think that Phil has that kind of money. Did you see Renee's ring? You have to squint to see the diamond."

"Ok fine plan B."

"Which is…"

"Which is that I now have money to pay you back for everything you have done for me." she smiled and pulled out a fancy silver credit card. "Esme told me that what theirs is mine. She also told me to get you whatever you want for your birthday."

"But she already got me something for my birthday, you all did" I said grabbing the gold heart around my neck.

"With the Cullens you never get just one thing for your birthday. Last year my birthday went on for weeks." Rosalie smiled at the memory. "Anywhere we went, I got anything I wanted."

Not like it was any different now, all she had to do was beg Emmett and give him a couple of kisses and he would buy it for her.

I thought about it, it just didn't seem right. "I don't know Alice," I started.

"No buts I'm buying it, or rather the Cullens are buying that sweater for you and that's final. It looks great on you and you will drive Edward insane with it" Alice smiled.

I blushed and sighed knowing I would never win. "Well tell the Cullens thank you" I smiled and walked back into my dressing room to change.

Alice laughed, "They're so generous. I have no idea how I ended up being so lucky. There are times when I don't know if I deserve this."

"Alice you deserve everything you get here" Rose said, "You've been through a lot and this is just making up for that."

Alice mumbled something I couldn't understand and then spoke more clearly, "I wonder why Esme and Carlisle never had anymore kids."

"Emmett and Edward probably threw them over the edge" I laughed and walked back out to them.

Alice laughed with me, but Rose stared at the ground.

She turned and looked us in the eyes, "You mean no one ever told you?"

"Told us what?" Alice sneered.

"Oh um never mind"

Alice grabbed Roses shirt collar and pulled her closer "Told. Us. What."

Rose paused for what seemed like hours and looked around the room, "Emmett and Edward aren't…."

A booming voice interrupted us, "Girlies I want to show you my new wardrobe."

"I don't think you can call that a wardrobe Em" a musical voice answer back. Alice looked extremely annoyed with the interruption.

Emmett and Edward came around the corner and I just about feel over laughing.

Emmett had put a purple cheetah bra on along with a neon orange thong. He also had a hot pink vest over top with a matching feather boa. And to pull it all off he had on a pair of oversized sunglasses on the tip of his nose.

"Emmett what the fuck!" Alice laughed but she was clearly annoyed that they interrupted story time.

"If you guys are going to make me go shopping with you then you have to let me have my own fun too."

"You mean watching us shop isn't good enough" Rose said as sexy as she could and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Emmett signed, "Not this" and pulled her closer to kiss her patiently.

"Hey, keep it PG here" Edward smiled. The brook apart and Emmett slapped Edward on the back of his head. "Sorry Em if I don't exactly like watching you and your girlfriend sucking face in front of me."

"You're just jealous because you don't have one."

"Oh I could get a girlfriend if I wanted to. I could have anyone in school."

"Oh really, how much you wanna bet?"

"How about you guys finish this outside, let us get back to business in here" Alice screamed, truly irritated now.

"Fine" Edward replied and ran around the corner.

Alice checked to make sure they were truly gone. "Ok, finish."

Rose looked at her feet, "I don't think it's a good idea, maybe they should tell you themselves." She mumbled.

"You can't just start out with Edward and Emmett aren't their … and then stop, their what? It's not fair" Alice whined.

Rose looked around, truly not sure what to do. "I think I've had enough shopping for one day" she said calmly and ran out of the dressing room area.

"What a bitch!" Alice screamed. I was shocked, first Alice never called anyone a bitch and second, what was this secret that the Cullens had? "Come on Bella, lets pay for that sweater and go home."

"Don't worry Alice, we'll find out what this is all about" I mumbled as we paid for the sweater.

"The hell we will."

She was mad. I had never seen her this angry. The entire ride back to Forks was a quiet one. Alice refused to sit by Rose and she looked out the window the entire ride.

The guys must have sensed the tension and didn't say anything.

Emmett dropped Rosalie off at her house because she claimed that she didn't feel good and then he continued to bring us home.

When we got home, Alice ran straight for her room and didn't come back. I knew she needed time to pout so I let her be.

Soon as we were out of the car Emmett turned around and went to go pick some things up for Rose, which left just me and Edward.

We stood there awkwardly in the doorway for awhile, until his cell rang. All that I pick up from the conversation was that it was Carlisle and something about dinner.

But I noticed that Edward called his father Carlisle to his face, not dad. I mean I call my mom Renee behind her back and the same with Charlie, but to their faces its mom and dad.

"Esme and Carlisle are going to some friends house in Seattle and won't be back until tomorrow night" Edward said putting his arm around me. I nodded, not sure how to respond but my stomach did, it growled loudly. "I guess it's dinner time" he smiled crookedly.

I blushed and hid my face in his shirt. I felt him hug me tighter; I looked up at him and melted. His emerald eyes peering down into my dull brown ones, he pulled me into the kitchen and lifted me up onto the counter.

"What would you like for dinner Ms. Swan?"

"You mean you are going cook?" I laughed.

"Of course, I can cook. I am a pretty good cook actually" he sneered.

"Good cook at what? Pizza, spaghetti ohs, or maybe you go big like mac n' cheese."

"You have just insulted me!" He laughed and I just about melted into a big puddle right there. "I am going to make you the best meal of your life. And it won't come from a box."

I nodded and jumped down from the counter, "What do you need first?" I asked ready to help.

He shook his head, "I need you to go sit behind the counter. I want to prove to you that I can do this all myself."

I shrugged and did as he told me, "So, what are you going to make me Mr. Chef?"

"Tonight's special is Shrimp resting on a bed or spinach in a light creamy alfredo sauce served with some tender peppered green beans and twice baked potatoes."

"Wow Mr. Chef. Can you really do it?"

"Are you doubting me again Ms. Swan? You should really give me a chance before you form you opinions." I blushed fire engine red. "Stay here I have to go get ingredients from the pantry."

I nodded as he pranced out. As I sat there in silence my mind ran through last night and my conversation with Edward. He had said something about Esme always wanting a ton of kids but that she was never able to so.

I continued thinking, was this what Rose was talking about? Were these two things linked together? I was mumbling to myself when Edward walked in.

"What?" he asked as he set an armful of ingredients on the counter.

"Oh, um nothing, just talking to myself."

Edward nodded and changed the subject. The conversation continued but I was barely following it. I was too wrapped up in my thoughts.

"What's on your mind Bella?" he asked sincerely, noticing my lack in presence in the conversation.

I shrugged, "Nothing."

"No it's something Bella, just tell me. I'm here for you." He smiled and came closer to me. I stayed quiet, thinking. He sat down in the stool next to me.

I looked to the ground not sure how to say the question I wanted to ask.

"You're driving me crazy Bella, please tell me what's on your mind" he said sweetly.

"Well I was thinking about something you said to me yesterday."

He nodded, "And what might that be?"

"Well you said something about how Esme always wanted a house full of kids right?" He nodded. "But you said she was never able to." He nodded and encouraged me to continue. "And today Rose was surprised that you guys never told Alice and I something and she was about to tell us when you and Emmett came in." I took in a deep breath, "I am just confused, I have a feeling that the two go together, but I don't know."

I watched as his jaw tightened, "There is something that we, my family have never told you. We don't tell many people, because it is hard to talk about."

"Edward if its…"

He shook his head and his jaw relaxed, "No you deserve to know this and so does Alice." He drew in a long breath. "When I was six months old and Emmett was about two our parents went boating. We lived in California at that time" he added. "The water got really rough and the boat capsized. And by the time the coast guard got to them it was too late." I gasped and did the only thing that I could. I ran and gave him a hug, which he gladly expected.

What Rose had said made sense. Emmett and Edward aren't Esme and Carlisle's biologically children.

Edward pulled me up into his lap and continued, "My parents were Elizabeth and Edward Masen. Esme and my mother were sisters and when my parents died she was the only family we had. Her and Carlisle took us in with open arms. They have pretty much raised us from birth." He rested his chin on my head and I took his hand in mind and kissed it.

"They are very generous" I whispered.

He nodded, "If it wasn't for them Emmett and I would have been split up and put into foster care."

I turned around to see his emerald eyes cloud up with tears. I hugged him tight and didn't let go.

We sat like that for a while until he pulled my chin up to meet his. "You see it's just that I don't remember anything about them. Emmett can at least picture them in his mind, but I don't remember anything at all. All I have left of them is a couple old photographs."

We sat in silence for awhile, but it wasn't uncomfortable, it was perfect. Edward took in a deep breath, "And the reason that Esme and Carlisle never had any children of their own is because they can't. Right before my parents died Esme received news that she was infertile."

Esme, the person who looks like she is just meant to be a mother, unable to have her own children poor Esme, I thought. "That must have been really hard on her."

He chuckled, "Sometimes I wonder if they were able to have their own children, would they have taken us in? Or if we are just their replacement kids."

"Edward, they love you so much. They would have taken you in no matter what" I assured him.

"I know and I shouldn't think that way because I can never repay them for what they have done."

I smiled and leaned into his chest. I breathed in his sent, but there was something else in the air, "I hate to break the moment, but do you smell smoke?" I asked timidly.

He looked around the kitchen, "The shrimp!" he screamed, pushing me off his lap and running to the stove. He quickly checked all the pots and turned the heat off. "It's ruined" he exclaimed, "It all is."

I smiled, "So, Mr. Chef, I guess you can't cook."

"You distracted me! Not fare!" He laughed.

"Fine you get one more chance, but tonight let's just order pizza."

He smiled, "Sounds good, why don't you go get Alice and see what she wants." I nodded and he leaded in to kiss my check. My knees became jello and I had to grab onto his shoulders to keep from falling.

He laughed his magnificent laugh and pushed me to the stairs.

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"Wow" Alice said for the millionth time.

"Can you say something else beside wow?" I asked annoyed.

"So, Esme is their aunt?"

"Yep"  
"Wow"

"Alice, enough with the wows" I laughed. Alice sat down on her bed, thinking.

"You know what?"

"What?"  
"All of us have messed up pasts."

"What do you mean?"

"Like, our group of friends. I have a drunken mother, your parents are divorced and you never see your dad and now we find out that Edward and Emmett's parents are dead. It's weird that we all ended up together. You know, like friends and stuff."

"Yeah, I guess it is. But then there's Rose." I laughed.

"Yeah, well Rose is just prefect. But you never know, there could be skeletons in her closet too."

"Only time will tell."

We tried to keep straight faces, but it didn't work, we both burst out in laughter. What could Rose have hidden from us, she could never keep a secret and her life was so perfect.

I all of a sudden remembered, Edward downstairs, "Alice we were supposed to go downstairs so Edward can order pizza" I shouted.

She smiled, "Let's go." When we got downstairs, Edward was finishing cleaning up his burnt food. Alice ran to him and hugged him.

"What's this for?" he asked.

"You know" she smiled. And he looked at me, I nodded, telling him everything he needed to know.

"Thanks Alice" he laughed.

We may come from different pasts and it may not have been easy, but we are together now and we will help each other threw the future.

But that's what friends do, they understand your past, believe in your future and accept you for it.

**I'm soooo sorry this took so long. It's the end of the semester for me which means finals and big projects and the starting on the 11****th**** it was my friends 16****th**** birthday, 18****th**** was mine and tomorrow is another friends. So I've been at sweet sixteen's along with practicing and taking my drivers test. Its been insane and I hope I can update again soon. **

**If you like it please review, if not tell me why. ******


	9. Barriers

July 24 -

"I passed Bella! I passed!" Alice screamed as she ran through the door. I tried to stand up to get to her but Edward held me against him, unwilling to let me up. Alice must have sensed it, "Edward let her up, she needs to come with me. I'm going to drive her around town."

"Maybe you should practice more before you endanger others lives" Edward said and held me tighter. We were nothing more than friends, but he was still very protective of me.

"She is actually a very conscientious driver Edward. There is nothing to worry about" Carlisle spoke calmly as he patted Edward shoulder.

Edward sighed and slowly released me from his grip so I could get up from the couch. "She can take Bella but not in my Volvo!" he sighed.

Edward had turned sixteen last month and since school was now out for the summer he had been driving Alice and I around all the time. He didn't care though; any reason to drive his car was worth it to him. The Volvo was his baby. But Alice would disagree, she would say that he just wanted to be with me, but I refused to believe it.

"Well actually I was thinking that before you girls leave we could give you your gift Alice, if that's alright?" Carlisle smiled.

Alice squealed like a fan girl. Carlisle smile widened, he quickly disappeared into the kitchen to get Esme and Emmett.

"Yeah she'll like it" I heard Emmett whisper. But with his whisper was the volume of a normal person's voice.

Alice jumped up and down, truly excited. The total opposite of me, I hated presents, but that was us, just plain opposites.

Emmett walked over to Alice and put his hands on her shoulders to stop her from bouncing.

Edward slowly walked over to me and snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. It was times like these that I truly believed that he actually like me more than a friend, but then I would hear him talking with Emmett or friends about some chick at school and I felt as if I could never be good enough.

"We may want to show her before she explodes" Emmett boomed.

"Ok then, follow me" Carlisle waved his hands in the direction of the door.

Edward slipped his arms away from me, but grabbed my hand and started walking toward the door. I blushed and turned to look at the ground. He was always finding new ways to make me blush.

"Emmett, don't let her see" Esme reminded him. Emmett grabbed Alice and covered her eyes with his oversized hands. He only needed one hand to cover her entire face but he used two to make sure she couldn't see.

We walked out into the garage and I stopped in my tracks.

I faintly heard someone yell, "Show her on three" and then many screams from Alice. But I was too shocked to move, did they really get her that?

Edward squeezed my hand tighter and I could tell he was smiling. But I couldn't look at him; my eyes were fixed on a brand new bright yellow Porsche.

Edward laughed lightly, I turned to look into is mesmerizing green orbs. "You think it's too much don't you" he smiled crookedly.

I was about to answer but couldn't because I was pulled into the passenger seat by Alice. I sighed and buckled in, not sure of what to expect.

Carlisle yelled over the low rumble of the engine, "Be safe." Alice nodded and started backing out. But before we were out of the garage something came flying through the open window and landed on my lap. It was my cell and Edward was standing ten feet away from the car smiling sheepishly.

"Edward if that would have hit my car!" Alice warned shaking her fist at him.

"But it did" he grinned, "Don't kill her; I would never be able to live without her." I blushed, how did he always find ways to make me blush, it was getting annoying. "And Bella don't' hesitate to call me if needed" he added honestly. I smiled at watched him until he was out of sight.

We drove for a while until I realized that we weren't driving in the direction of Forks. "Where exactly are we going Alice?" I asked.

"We're meeting Rose and Jas at the mall" she said happily as she took in her new car.

"In Port Angles?"

"Yep" she replied distracted by how fast she could go. "I love this car! Oh My God I love this car" she laughed throwing her head back and laughing like a baboon.

"Don't you think it's a little much?" I asked truthfully, I could never expect a gift like that, it just wouldn't seem right.

She looked at me confused, "Just because you don't like gifts Bella, it doesn't mean others don't like them."

"Duh" I groaned, "I know you like gifts and that's fine, but isn't this to much? I mean a car, and an expensive one at that!"

Alice smiled with pride, "I guess but I'm not going to give it back. That would be rude. And anyway they have the money to give gifts like this."

I was astonished; did she really think that it was no big deal that she had just received a $100,000 car? What ever happened to the girl who had to spend a summer babysitting for a family she barely knew to get food for her family during the school year? The girl who wouldn't spend more than $30 on a shirt and $50 on a pair of pants?

She was starting to take the Cullen's generosity of granted. She was forgetting how good this opportunity was.

I let out a long sigh and turned to look out the window. Alice sensed my tension, "Hey, we should look for something for you to wear tonight." Alice was having a small party with some friends for her birthday.

_Great! _I thought _just another thing bought by the Cullens._ Even though they were happy to spend money on us, it felt wrong to me.

I nodded slightly, not taking my eyes off the passing forest, still thinking about the car.

We rode like that for awhile, no one spoke. The only noise was the radio. But when All summer long, by Kid Rock came on, we both broke free from our silence.

That was our song, we sang our hearts out to it. When it ended, we both laughed, looked at each other and I knew that everything was fine, our song brought us back together every time.

Alice looked over at me with a serious face, "Bella" she said shaky. I looked at her worried, but she shook her head, "It's not bad" she paused, "I think I'm in love" she smiled.

I had known for awhile, she had been dating Jasper for nine months now. And every time that they were together she couldn't stop smiling. She would say his name in her sleep and all together she was just happier when he was around. They were a match made in heaven.

"Have you told him?" I grinned.

She looked around and then back to the road, "Well, no….What if he doesn't feel the same way?"

"Alice, he loves you." I assured her, "Have you seen the way he looks at you?" A small smile spread across her face. "Or how about when he waits for you on the couch until you come home from wherever; even if you won't be home for hours, just so he can see you?" her smile grew. "He calls you every night before you go to bed just so that he is the last voice you hear at night and he calls you right away in the morning so that he is the first person you hear? Face it, he loves you."

Alice smiled, "Are you sure though, I mean what if…"

"Alice" I screamed, "There are no what ifs, you both love each other and that's finial. You say that I'm blind to love, but look at you, you're swimming in it and you don't realize it."

Her smile grew and she shook her head slightly, "You are blind to love. Did you see how protective Edward was of you as we pulled out of the garage?"

"You're changing the subject. We were talking about you for once and then it gets switch back to me" I sighed.

"Oh Bella you bring it one yourself" she giggled.

"I guess" I mumbled. We drove the rest of the way to Port Angeles as we sang along with the radio.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I slumped down in the leather armchair, watching everyone dance around me and have a good time.

Alice's party was amazing, it was small but it everyone looked like they were having a good time. Laura and Mike Newton were here, along with the normal Edward, Emmett, Rose and of course Jasper. There were a handful of other people I had met once, but now forgot their names.

Alice had spent all her time getting me ready that she was late to her own party.

Rose and Alice had picked me out a short red dress that fell to mid thigh while we were shopping. I hung out with Jasper and let them shop for me. When we got home they rushed me up to the bathroom and started "primping me", as they would say.

They had spent a considerable amount of time on me and right now what I really wanted was to go home.

"Not having a good time?" Jasper asked sitting on the armrest of the chair.

I gave him a fake smile, "I guess I'm not really in the party mood."

He nodded, "Then someone has to get you in the party mood" he smiled, extending a hand for me.

I shook my head, "I don't know Jas…"

"Come on, you don't want to be a party pooper do you? It's Alice's sixteenth birthday, let's have some fun."

I rolled my eyes and took his hand. He pulled me to the dance floor or the middle of the living room, which had all the furniture removed and a massive speaker system instead.

Jas let me go and began dancing like a crazy person. He was flailing his arms, jumping around and spinning in circles.

I laughed and started to move to the beat. I never really knew what to do. Dancing definitely isn't my forte.

"Come on Bella" he shouted over the music. I looked around, I knew most of the people and the others I would probably never seen again so what the heck. All bearers were coming down tonight.

Screw the self cautious Bella, I was going to have fun. I slowly started jumping around, then spinning. I must have looked insane, but it was fun.

Jasper grabbed my hand and spun me around the room. We jumped and made our own kind of dancing.

"Hey it looks like we have a ballerina!" Emmett boomed.

_O great_ I thought, _just what I want, someone to make jokes about this for the rest of my life._ _No, I wouldn't let Emmett effect me. _"Shut up Emmett, I'm having fun" I screamed.

That was the night all the barriers came down. For years I thought that what people thought was important, that I should please others in the way I dress and act. But in reality it's not that way.

I needed to forget about what people think and just have fun, you're only a teenager for so long.

Edward came between Jasper and I when a slow song started, "May I have this dance?" he grinned, bowing like you see in old movies.

Jas nodded and wondered over to Alice.

Edward picked me up and placed me on his feet, just like he did at Renee's wedding. "It looks like you're having fun" he mocked.

"You're only young once, might as well have fun" I shrugged.

He nodded and pulled me closer. "You look amazing tonight" he whispered after awhile.

I blushed tomatoes whipping my head down to the ground. But of course nothing can go smoothly for me, my locket slapped me in the face, "Great!" I mumbled.

Edward tried to hold in his laughter, "Are. You. Alright?" he managed to choke out. If I wasn't redder than my dress before, I was now. Edward grabbed the chain to my necklace and moved the clasp to the back. He paused staring at the pendant, "Is this the one we gave you for your birthday?" he murmured.

I nodded shyly, "I wear it all the time."

He smiled my favorite smile, "I'm glad you like it."

"It reminds me of how far I've come" I muttered.

He shook is head slowly, "What do you mean?"

I took a deep breath, "Well before I meet Alice, I never opened up to anyone. I didn't really have any friends and I never, ever talked to guys. I didn't even know what fun was. I would spend my weekends reading a book or something, I never went out. And most of all I was always so scared of what people thought of me. When I was introduced to Alice, my first thought was, 'I look like shit'. But look at me now, I have a great group of friends, I don't care what others think and I'm having the time of my life. In the past year and a half, my life has done a 360 and it's amazing. This" I said grabbing the golden heart, "reminds me of all of that."

Alice popped her head up behind Edward. She had heard my whole spechl. "Bella" she cried, "You've done the same for me." We smiled and Alice pushed Edward out of the way. She hugged me tight, "You're an amazing person don't ever forget that."

I gave her a small smile, "You too, and nothing can ever stand in your way."

Emmett, Rose and Jasper all crowed around us too. "You have changed both are lives for the better" Alice smiled pulling everyone closer.

Alice, Rose and I got teary eyed, and hugged each other, "GROUP HUG!" Emmett yelled and the guys wrapped around us.

These are the people that, through everything are still by my side. They pulled me out of my shell and showed me how to live. These are my friends.

_"Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down."_


	10. Wow

**I am SOOOO sorry this took so long. I have been really busy and my life is confusing right now. I have found my Edward but the problem is I have also found my Jacob. They are both so sweet and they are both jealous of the other when I'm with the other. And the funny thing is that my Edward and I have biology together but he's not my lab partner. His lab partner is my Jacob and they are about to kill each other by the end of the period. **

**I've been confused and everything that I have written was just confusing and hard to follow. I'm not proud of this chapter and I skipped ahead again just because it was the only one that made sense. I have already written the end and I know how I want the story to go, I just have to get to a certain spot and the chapters will come quickly.**

**Feb 6 - **

"He's so cute!" Alice squealed as she held my new little half brother. Renee and Phil officially welcomed the newest member of their family into the world three and half hours ago.

I found out that Renee was pregnant shortly after Alice's birthday. At first I was sure that nothing good would come out of it and this baby would ruin their marriage, but so far I have been proven wrong. If anything he had strengthen it.

When I found out I was a nervous wreck, but Alice and Rosalie helped me through it.

"_Alice she's pregnant!" I cried. Renee and just told me that she's three months pregnant._

"_It won't be that bad, you won't be any only child anymore" Alice advised._

"_Yeah Bella, you'll have a baby brother or sister who you can dress up" Rosalie added._

"_You guys don't understand. Babies break up marriages, they make everything so much more stressful" I blubbered._

"_Bella what are you talking about?" Rosalie asked instantly._

"_The only reason my parents got married was because Renee was pregnant with me"_

"_What does that have to do with this?" Rosalie inquired._

"_You don't see, Renee and Phil haven't even been married for a year! I don't want this baby to go through the same things I have had to. Having kids right away ruins a marriage, there is no time for them to get to know each other better."_

"_Bella what have you had to go through? And your mom and Phil dated for five years before they got married. Your parents dated during high school. This is different, it will be fine" Alice encourage._

"_Being shipped back and forth between my parents like a package is not fine. I get on a plane to go visit my dad in California for three weeks a year. My parents don't see or even speak to each other, ever!" I cried, "There are so many things in a kid's life that you want both parents to see. Or if you go over to a friends house and see their parents sitting on the couch together watching TV peacefully, it's hard. I don't ever remember my parents together, when I was little one of my friends once asked me, 'Why doesn't your daddy live here?' and I didn't know why, it hurts. Divorce hurts; it hurts kids even if they don't show it. It hurts them more than you know."  
"Bella, Renee and Phil aren't getting a divorce. My parents had me a year after they were married. It worked out. This child will have two of the most loving parents and a great sister to take care of it. Not to mention two amazing personal shoppers." Rosalie winked at Alice._

_I laughed. _

"_It will work out Bella, believe me" Alice assured me._

And so far it did.

As soon as Renee went into labor, I called Alice. She picked me up and we went shopping for more baby stuff. He was going to be one spoiled little boy.

He already had a closet full of clothes that could be for either a boy or girl and now that Rose and Alice knew the sex, I was sure that his closet would expand.

Renee called me about six hours later to inform me that I had a little brother and Alice and I rushed to the hospital to meet him.

Alice was cuddling him in her arms with a large smile on her face. "What are you going to name him?" Alice squealed with excitement.

Renee turned to look at Phil who nodded slightly, "We were thinking Cole Alexander; Alexander after Phil's dad."

"Cole Alexander Dwyer. I like it." She smiled touching his face gingerly. "I love babies. I want a baby" she cooed at Cole.

"Not too soon Alice" Renee warned, "You should be married first and go to college. It's not easy to raise a child by yourself. Trust me, I know from experience."

My heart dropped a little, she did have to raise me by herself and she had to give up a lot to do it. I could never thank her enough.

"I'm not stupid Renee; I don't want a baby now. That would ruin everything; I am definitely waiting until at least after college." Alice assured her, "I already know what I'm naming them, I going to have a girl and a boy. They will be Anna and Logan."

"And what if you have two boys?" I questioned.

"I'm not" she said defensively, "It's scientifically proven, we learned about it at school when I as younger. When you close you're eyes there are ridges that your eye lids make. That determines how many kids you will have and what their sexes will be. Here Renee close your eyes." Renee did as directed, Alice studded her for a minute, "Yep, Cole is your last kid. You are meant to have a girl then boy."

"Do you know anyone that you have told this to, before they had any kids?" Phil asked disappointedly.

"Well as a madder of fact I have" Alice said with an attitude, "My cousin, Kayla was pregnant and I told her that she would have two girls and a boy. She has had the two girls and she is pregnant again WITH a boy."

"Alice, don't get all defensive, it's an interesting concept." Renee grinned, "Go read Bella, I want to know how many grandkids I will get!" she smiled and clapped her hands.

"Oooo, you and Edward are going to have such cute kids" Alice beamed.

I shut my eyes, "Alice, for the billionth time I'm not marring Edward."

"We'll see about that" she smirked, "Ok, you will have three boys…ooo and twins!"

I rolled my eyes, "Great a house full of boys, that'll be fun."

"Don't be stupid Bella, those boys will be the cutest little boys ever. And when you do I'm going to laugh because you didn't believe me."

"We'll see about that" I smiled back.

"Oh Bella, you are going to have to come visit me all the time so I can see my grandkids!" Renee cheered.

I rolled my eyes, "That's going to be a long ways away. You should be thankful for what you have. You just had a baby for crying out loud, now your thinking about grandkids."

Phil laughed, "That's unlike you honey, you never plan ahead."

There was no response. I looked over to Renee; her head was bobbing up and down like a yo-yo. I took it as sign to leave. Alice gently placed Cole into Phil's arms and we said our quick good-byes.

"Are you sure you'll be ok Bella?" Renee mumbled sleepily, "Phil can go home with you tonight."

Phil gave me a pleading stare, he wanted to stay here with his wife and son, "Mom, I'll be fine. I'm going over to the Cullens anyway. I'll just stay overnight."

She nodded slightly and let sleep take over. Alice and I waved good-bye to Phil and headed down to the parking lot.  
"I can't believe you have a little brother" Alice squealed.

I smiled slightly, I had a little brother. Something I never thought I would have. When you're little and an only child, you always want a little brother or sister to play with or share the blame. But I gave up on getting a sibling years ago. Now I had one, not one that I could share the blame of something, but one that I could love and play with. "I know me too" I smiled.

"It's going to be so much fun getting clothes for him"

I wanted to scream, we had just gotten him bags full today and he already had a closet full. "Alice you're a shopaholic! Can't you pick on someone else for a change."  
"Well you don't let me shop for you and Rose can do it herself and the guys aren't all that fun to buy for. But now I have Cole, and baby clothes are soooo cute!"

_Only Alice_ I thought. We hopped into Alice's Porsche and drove back to the Cullens.

We were bombarded with questions about Cole when we arrived back to the Cullens. Edward immediately snaked his arms around my waist when we enter the house. Alice winked at me and then went to talk to Esme about Cole.

I stayed in place, locked by Edward's arms. I turned to look at his face. He smiled crookedly, "How does it feel?"

"What?" I asked puzzled.

"How does it feel to be a big sister?" he smiled.

I let out a little laugh, it sounded like something you would ask a five year old, not someone who was fourteen. "I guess, the same, I still don't believe it though."

"Why would that be?" he questioned. He was always like that, he didn't want just a straightforward answer, he wanted details and he was always interested.

"Well I guess I gave up on ever having siblings. I always thought it would be Renee and I forever. And then Phil came into the picture, but it was a nice addition and now we have Cole. I guess my life isn't turning out the way I expected" I smiled and looked into his beautiful green orbs, "its better."

He let out the musical laugh of his, "You deserve the best"

I blushed and buried my face in his chest, "And you guys, I never expected to have such a great group of friends."

"Sometimes life throws you things you never expected, some are bad and some are good" he smiled, "Right now, you are getting the good and you deserve it."

I grinned slightly and looked into his gorgeous eyes, me heart skipped a beat. Why did he have to be so perfect? Every time I talked to him I liked him more, he always knew what to say.

"Do you guys want to watch a movie?" Alice called from the other room.

Edward looked at me, I shrugged. "Sure, we'll be there in a minute" he called pulling me into a hug. I could stay there forever, in his arms.

He let go of my waist but grabbed my hand as we walked to the living room.

"Ballerina!" Emmett shouted as we entered, that was my new nickname ever since Alice's party when I was twirling around in circles with Jasper.

"Hey Bells" Jas called. I jumped, I was expecting him to be here, well of course he was here, he was always here. He and Alice were already sitting on the couch waiting for us.

"Oh hey Jas" I smiled,

Jas laughed, "How's the little brother?"

"Little I guess" I said truthfully, that's pretty much all I knew about him right now.

"Baby's usually are Ballerina! You wouldn't want something that weighs twenty pounds coming out from down there do you?" Emmett smiled with a mouth full of sandwich pointing at his crotch.

Rose slapped him, "Don't be so immature! Guez your four years older than her and she doesn't laugh anytime someone says the word booby."

Emmett's face grew red, trying to contain laughter, but he contained it, "That doesn't count, do you know how many people think that she is your guys age? They think that she's sixteen! And she even looks it!"

It was true, anytime I was out with them I was always asked what school I went to because they had never seen me at school before. But it wasn't because I didn't go to Forks High; it was because I was still in junior high.

Everyone nodded there head and we sat in awkward silence for awhile. "Let's just watch the movie?" Jas suggested.

"Sure" I agreed, happy for a change in topic, "What are we watching?" Everyone looked back and forth at each other, "What? What is it?"

They continued to exchange glances back and forth at each other until Alice finally spoke up, "You'll see."

It wasn't really the answer I was hoping for, but one that I knew I couldn't fight. She would never give in and no one else would go against Alice.

Rose and Emmett settled onto the small armchair for what I assumed would be another make out session while Edward and I sat down in the love seat. Alice winked at me; she always made fun of me when we were in the 'love' seat.

When we were all situated, Alice hit play and the movie began. All I heard at first was a bunch of screams, I didn't like it. The opening credits continued until the name of the movie appeared, Texas Chainsaw Massacre. "NO!" I screamed, "We are not watching this."

"Oh come on Bella it's not that scary and every things really old with bad effects and stuff. It's totally unrealistic" Alice advised.

"Alice you know how much I hate scary movies!" I cried, "Please can we watch another movie? Please, please please?"

She smiled and pointed at Rose and Emmett who had started their make out session early, "It was his turn."

My face became red with fury, Emmett liked a good laugh but this was too much. We each took turns picking out the movie and I had once spilled that I hated scary movies and now Emmett thought that this would be funny.

"WHAT THE FUCK EMMETT? You know how much I hate scary movies" I screamed.

He pulled away from Rose slowly and looked at my annoyed, "But I wanted to watch this movie" he said sadly.

"You don't even fucking watch the movie, you're attached to Rose's face the entire time anyway!" I shrieked.

He shrugged and sat up putting Rose on his lap, "We're done, I'm going to watch this."

I groaned, this was going to be a horrible night.

"We can go somewhere else, you don't have to watch this" Edward said sweetly, but I could tell he wanted to watch this.

I truly considered it, but decided that I could tough it out for one night, "I'll be fine"

"Are you sure" he asked looking at me directly in the eye. I was a horrible liar, and if I spoke I knew he would see right through me. So I just nodded hoping it would be enough.

He signed and turned towards the TV. I hated that movie with a passion. I spent most of the movie hiding the face in Edwards shirt. Every time I came closer to him he smiled and hugged me tighter.

Alice was right the effects were terrible and you could tell that it was made in the seventies but it was still scary to me.

Emmett watched the entire movie and laughed every time I jumped or screamed. I was going to paid him back with a chick flick marathon.

The movie ended around two in the morning and Jasper had to go home. It was so cute listening to Alice and him say good-bye.

"I love you"

"No I love you more"

"No way there is no way someone could love as much as I love you" and then Alice jumped into his arms and kissed him passionately.

It went on like that for awhile until Jasper finally had to leave. We said good night to the other guys and headed upstairs.

Rose stayed down longer or rather make out with Emmett. We all got ready for bed and sat down in Alice little 'living room' area.

To complete the scary movie mood they had to make me watch some show about haunted houses and castles.

"Ugh…I would hate to live in a haunted house, too creepy!" Rose shivered.

I nodded, "I can barely watch it on TV!"

"At least you guys never had to live in one" Alice shrugged.

"Like you have!?!" Rose said more like a statement.

"As a matter of fact I have" Alice said smugly, "And it was the scariest thing ever!"

Rose sat there with her mouth hanging open, "Are you serious?"

"Yes, I wouldn't lie" Alice said with fake hurt in her voice.

"What happened? Where was this?" I asked interested.

"When I was ten we moved to this apartment in Seattle. My dad was still alive back then. And we always heard strange noises at night. But in the bathroom was the worst. Anytime I used to shower head, I would hear 'Why? Why them?' I took baths for a year! No one believed me because it only happened to me, but one night Cynthia and I had some friends over and we were sleeping in the living room and we had just finished watching The Shining, so we turned the TV to go to sleep. But a couple minutes later it turned back on, we all assumed that someone had rolled over on top of the remote, but when we looked the remote was on top of the TV. It was strange but we just turned the TV off again and went back to bed. Then it happened again, so we unplugged it and it happened again. We all screamed, I was ready to go get my dad when around the corner we all saw this little boy, he looked scared and then he was gone."

"Oh my god!" Rose gasped.

Alice gave her an evil glare but continued, "My dad slept out in the living room with us that night and we would see the little boy once and awhile, but the only one that truly believed me was Cynthia and her friends because they were the only other ones that had seen him. One day when we were going across the street to the park an old lady stopped us. She asked us if we lived in the apartments across the street and we nodded, she then asked us if anything weird ever went on in the apartment. We dumbfounded, we didn't know how she knew when no one else believed. She explained to us that a couple years ago a woman and her son were crossing the street to get to the park and were hit by an oncoming car and killed. The husband was so depressed that he killed himself in their bathroom."

"Is that…" I started.

She looked at me, "The little boy that we had seen, and the voices in the bathroom were the ones of the man that had committed suicide. Cynthia and I didn't get anymore information from the lady, but we no longer wanted to go to the park. We raced home and went directly to the bathroom and began to tare at the wallpaper. I don't know what we were trying to find but what we did find was old wallpaper covered and written on in blood."

"Uck! Please tell me you didn't stay there?" Rose said sticking her tongue out.

Alice nodded, "We showed our parents and they both agreed right away that we had been right all along. They started packing right away."

"How scary" I mumbled, "I could never live there. I would have had a heart attack and died."

They both laughed, "Only you Bella" Alice smiled.

We talked about random stuff for awhile and eventually drifted off to sleep.

I began to dream of babies, but as I looked closely at the babies none of them were Cole. Soon one was brought to me and strong arms wrapped around my neck, "He looks like you" a musical voice said behind me.

"No, he has your eyes" I said.

I turned to look at the man, it was Edward. He was shaking his head and kissed me sweetly. "Our son" he mumbled into my ear, "I love you Bella."

I was sleeping but I'm sure my heart stopped, I didn't care if it was a dream, it was the words that I wanted to hear and the man that I wanted to be with had said them.

Stupid Alice, she had gotten all this in my head.

**So the eyelid thing, I honestly don't know if it really works and I doubt it does, but and that is what one of my friends once told me. You will get later why I had to put this in here. And again I am so sorry this took so long :(**


	11. Stupid

**So I had this all ready to go on Saturday, then when I went to post it, I couldn't find it. It was lost in my computer and all I had was the beginning. So I had to start over, I liked the first version better, but there's not much I can do about that...ENJOY**

March –

"Are you sure you have to go?" Rose asked for the hundredth time. Alice was going to stay with Cynthia and her aunt for the week.

Alice rolled her eyes, "I'm only going to be gone for the week. I haven't seen Cynthia since I moved here. I miss her."

Alice was right, she hadn't seen anyone from her old life since she came to stay at the Cullens more than a year ago, it was only right that she goes.

"Couldn't you go some other time? I mean spring break? Come on we could have gone on a road trip or something fun." Rose said trying to get Alice to change her mine. They had been going at this for hours now. I just sat on the side and watched.

"Esme and Carlisle told me I had to get straight A's to go visit her. I worked hard and did it, for the first time in my life. This is my reward; anyway Cynthia's spring break is this week to so we can do more together."

"I bet LA sounds better than Seattle" Rose said and playfully punched Alice, "If we both drove we could make it there in a day. Bella can be our navigator and tell us where to go. It would be fuunnn!"

Alice stomped her foot, "For the last time, I am going to go see my little sister and nothing you say can change that. We have all summer to go to LA or a road trip or whatever you want to do!"

Rose and I jumped back, Alice never got mad like that. I mean Rose had been pestering her for awhile, but she never got mad at us, her friends. She was always the happy go lucky one.

Rose shook her head, "Consider this subject dropped" and got up and went into the bathroom.

Alice looked at me confused; I just shrugged not wanting to get in the middle of it. I quickly tried to change the subject, "So you're driving down there right?"

Alice nodded, "Yeah I'm leaving at like 9:00 tomorrow morning. I still wish you were coming with me Bella. You have been my friend throughout so much and I really want you to meet Cynthia, I think you would really like her."

I gave her a fake sad smile, "You know what Renee said, she won't let me go because she doesn't want me driving with you for that long." The truth was that I was happy that I couldn't go, it's not that I didn't want to meet Cynthia or anything it was that from what I had heard about Cynthia I didn't like.

Alice had told me how she was addicted to pot for awhile and has spent a couple nights in jail for theft and other minor offenses. Supposedly she had cleaned up her act but she still scared me.

Alice nodded, "Stupid adults, I lived the majority of my life without adults and I turned out just fine."

"But look at our sister" I mumbled under my breath, hoping she didn't hear me.

"What did you just say?" she said defensively. Apparently she had.

"Nothing, just nothing. Forget about it."

"No! What did you say?"

"It's nothing; just forget I ever said anything"

"No you said something about my sister didn't you?" she said pointing her finger at me "Didn't you?" I didn't respond. The new angry Alice scared me. "That's why you don't want to go to Seattle with me. You don't like my sister."

"I never said that!" I said defensively, "I've never even met her"

"It was implied!" she screamed, "I told you she's better now, she is doing really well in school and she has been sober for four months now!" I didn't know what to say, I was shocked. Alice paced back and forth, "Do you think that just because we are sisters I will make the same mistakes?"

I smiled, "Of course not! You to are two different people, you are in a good place right now and everyone around you wants you to succeed"

She let a small smile crawl across her face, but it quickly changed to a frown, "But Cynthia can't succeed?"

"I never said any of this!"

"But you believe it don't you and so does Renee!"

I struggled for the right words, Renee and I both agreed that Cynthia probably wasn't the best person, but maybe she really was turning her life around, like Alice had said she could be a good person.

"See you can't even answer!" she yelled. I slowly backed away, but she followed me pointing and screaming.

But the door burst open and Edward rushed in, "What's going on here?" she shouted. I rushed to him and he hugged me.

Alice breathed heavily and turned towards the window, "Just get out of here" she mumbled. Edward turned my face to look at his and gave me a tight hug, I breathed in his wonderful sent. Alice turned to look at us and screamed, "I told you to leave!"

I jumped back, but then quickly rushed out of the room, Edward following behind me.

"Do you mind explaining?" he asked sensitively when we were alone in the hallway.

I fell to the ground, outside Alice's door. "It's like I don't even know her" I cried, "I've never seen her so angry or defensive"

Edward sat down next to me and pulled me onto his lap, stroking my hair. Rose came out a couple minutes later and mouthed something to Edward, but he shoed her away.

I blubbered about Alice to him for hours, until I couldn't anymore. I looked into his beautiful green eyes, "Why are you always here to comfort me?" I asked.

I smiled my favorite smiled and shrugged, "Because I can think of no place I would rather be."

I just about died, I wanted to kiss him, but decided on a hug and a small kiss on the cheek and I swear that he blushed a little bit.

He stood up and helped me to my feet, "Do you want to go get something to eat?"

I smiled but shook my head. "Right now, I just want to go home, can you drive me?" I said truthfully.

He looked disappointed, but nodded. "Anything for you"

My face turned bright red and I swear my heart stopped. How was he so perfect and why were we still just friends, we didn't act like it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The rest of my spring break was uneventful; Phil was traveling with his baseball team which left Renee with Cole. She also had to work so I had to watch him during the day. Usually I would bring him over to the Cullens and watch him there with Alice, Rose and Esme, but Alice wasn't around to drive me. So I stayed at home.

Edward visited a couple of times to make sure I was okay and, as he said, 'talk with people my own age'.

The week passed slowly, but it passed. Edward picked me up on the day Alice came home.

We all waited for her in the living room, Edward and I on one couch, Rose and Emmett on the other and Jasper waiting for Alice in the chair.

"Esme are you sure she said seven?" Jasper asked impatiently as he looked at his watch. It was now nine, two hours after Alice had told Esme she would be home.

Esme nodded with a worried look on her face, "That's what she said."

Edward patted her shoulder. "Don't' worry Esme. She's just running late, there was probably a lot of traffic" Edward assured her.

Alice was her daughter, it didn't madder that they weren't blood relatives, but Esme loved Alice like a daughter. She gave Edward a weak smile.

"Did someone try calling her?" Emmett asked.

Jasper held his phone in the air, "Eleven times, she never answered."

"Oh, how'd I miss that?" Emmett muttered under his breath.

"It was probably when you were attached to Rose's face!" Edward laughed. Rose blushed and turned her face so that no one else would see.

"Well at least I have someone to make out with!" Emmett stormed.

Edward shook his head, "I'm waiting."

"On what?" Emmett badgered, "Are you gay?"

Edward rolled his eyes and pulled me closer, "Are you kidding me? AM I gay! If anything that you be you"

"And yet, I'm the one with the girlfriend"

Rose let out a tiny laugh, as she watched Edward's face become frustrated, but before he could say anything Esme cut in, "Boy's that's enough! Let's just get along here okay!"

"Yes Esme" they said in unison.

"Good" she smiled, "Now, I'm going to the kitchen does anyone want anything?"

"Ooo I want some French fries and a coke, oh and some chips with that too and a hotdog" Emmett ordered.

Rose slapped him, "She's not a waitress Em!"

Esme smiled gently, "It's alright I don't mind, I'll make enough for everyone." And with that she was gone.

Emmett made sure she was gone and then leaned closer to Edward, "Seriously dude, what are you waiting for?"Edward did some kind of hand motion, Emmett got it. "Dude, it's been a year and a half, you have to make your move!"

Edward rolled his eyes, "No duh! Do you really think it's best to be talking about this right now?"

Emmett looked at me, "Oops, sorry bro."

I looked back and forth at them confused, but before I could ask Jasper spoke up.

"Where could she be?" he wondered out loud, "She's never this late." He grabbed his phone and started to dial a number, which I assumed was Alice's, but before he finished the front door opened and in walked Alice. She was talking on the phone with someone. "ALICE!" Jasper said relieved.

He got up and ran to her, she ignored him and just kept talking. It was totally unlike Alice, she would usually drop anything for Jas. It was weird.

It seemed like hours until she finally hung up the phone, we all sat there dumbfounded.

"Jas" she said with fake enthusiasm. I wanted to slap her, what was going on.

"Alice, I missed you so much!" Jasper smiled, "What took you so long?"  
She let out a low sigh, "I'm sorry guys, I had a late start and then there was an accident and it took me longer than expected, I should have called." But every word spoke out of her mouth was cold and fake. It wasn't the real Alice.

"Damn right you should have called!" Emmett joked. Everyone laughed, but Alice, she jumped back, it was just unlike her.

"Ignore him" Jasper comforted her, "We're just glad your back." She nodded but didn't say a word.

"Foods done guys" Esme called from the kitchen.

"Score" Emmett boomed as he hopped over the couch. We all followed.

We all sat around the big dinning room table eating our French fries, hotdogs, chips and pop, joking around and having a good time. But Alice was different. She wasn't joining in on the conversation. She was intertwined with her cell, texting.

Something that she had once told me was a waste of time and money, she thought that people should just pick up the phone and talk in person. I guess that changed.

Everyone finished and wandered back into the living room. Alice and I were the last ones in the kitchen.

"Alice, I'm sorry" I mumbled.

Her head shot up and for the first time that day I thought I saw a glimpse of the old Alice. She smiled slightly, "I forgive you, we're sisters through anything and we're bound to fight once and awhile. But we will always be friends right?"

I smiled, "Right" I took a deep breath and said what I regretted not saying last week, "Cynthia will do great things just like you, she is capable".

Alice smiled and hugged me, "This is the reason that we will be friends forever".

I laughed, "Friends forever".

Little did I know that, that may never happen, as soon as we joined the others in the living room she was the same as when she came home. She was ignoring everyone and kept texting someone. And it continued like that, every time that I was with Alice. It was like she was more interested with her phone than me.

Emmett once joked that she was having a secret affair threw her phone and tried to take it to read her texts and she got defensive. She wouldn't let anyone touch her phone. Stupid cell phones.

The school year finished and summer flew by. I spent everyday over at the Cullens, but most of the time it wasn't with Alice but Edward or Emmett and Rose.

Jasper was always with us too, but he always seemed sad. Alice and him had never officially broken up, but they might as well have been. Alice ignored him all the time.

I tried to figure out what was going on with her, but she never admitted anything was different. She began driving to Port Angeles to see other 'friends' who we never met.

At the time I didn't realize it, but as I look back, this was the start of me loosing her. This is when I began to loose my best friend.

**Please Review**


	12. Maybe

**I seem to be the mother of excuses lately, but I've been super sick and I feel horrible that I left you with that ending for over a week. So…I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!**

The summer flew by, it seems like only yesterday I was finishing my last day of junior high.

I spent everyday at the Cullens, but I was rarely with Alice. Most of the time I was with Emmett, Rose and Edward. Jasper was with us too from time to time. He always looked sad, but he never gave up hope that Alice would come around and come back to him.

He still waited for her until she came home, most nights and still called her every night, but she rarely said a word to him and ignored most of his calls.

For her seventeenth birthday we all chipped in to buy her a necklace. It was a silver heart with a slight crack down the middle and on the back it simply said, 'Friends Forever JEREB', for our initials. When she opened all she said was, "Oh" and then left. No thank you, no smile, no nothing.

I have never seen her wear it or say anything about it, it's probably still in its little velvet box. Unlike, the golden locket I received on my thirteenth birthday, I rarely take it off. But that again is a difference between me and Alice. I was beginning to appreciate things more, like my friends. She used to, but that is just another thing that changed.

As summer came to an end, Renee and Phil were going to visit Phil's parents in Florida. Phil being my step dad and I had no relation to these people. Renee saw no reason for me to have to go with them. So I was to stay with the Cullens for the week that they were gone.

"Have fun Bella, see you in a week" Renee shouted out the window of Phil's suburban.

"Bye mom" I called back. I saw her pick up Cole's little hand to have him wave good-bye to me, I waved back and turned to go inside.

I walked in without knocking like normal, but this time I wish I had. I looked around, but found no one. _'They must be in the kitchen'_ I thought. I heard muffled voices coming from that direction, but as I came closer I could tell that they were angry.

I leaned as close to the door as possible without anyone detecting my presence.

"No, Alice what were you thinking?" I heard a stern voice that sounded like Carlisle's. There was a slight pause, "No you weren't thinking" He continued.

I was confused, what was going on? I leaned closer.

"Stay calm Carlisle, we both know what she did was wrong, but we can't go overboard. She's a child, she's going to make mistakes" Esme said sweetly.

"But it's not just this once! She's been getting away with too much lately. When you came to us, you were nothing like this! What's going on with you?" Carlisle said aggravated.

I heard a couple muffled cries from, who I assumed was Alice, but what did she do? I closed my eyes and listened as hard as I could, but the voiced became hushed and difficult to understand.

"Are you spying?" Emmett whispered in my ear. I jumped 10 feet back. He laughed. "I thought you were better than that ballerina. You're stooping to my level, just to find out some information" he shook his head in discouragement.

I put my hand on my heart, he almost gave me a heart attack, "Shut up Emmett!" I said slapping him, "What happened?" I said pointing at the door.

He shrugged, "They've been having these little meetings a lot lately. I don't know what they're about, but this ones been going on for awhile and I'm hungry. They better hurry up so I can get some food."

I rolled my eyes, "You don't even care about what's happening with Alice, you're just concerned about your stomach!"

"Bella, face it. She doesn't care about us anymore, why should we care about her?"

I wanted to scream, but maybe he was right. She didn't care about us, her 'friends'. We've been patient, we've waited for her, let her have her space. She's still pushing us aside like a pile of dirt, maybe it was time to just let her go.

Esme came running out of the kitchen, "Oh Bella, you're here" she said putting on a fake smile and quickly wiping the tears from here eyes, "Why don't you go put your stuff in Alice's room. That's were you'll be staying. Emmett can help you."

I nodded and grabbed my bags. This as going to be awkward, I haven't spent more than a couple of hours with Alice since before she left for Seattle.

Emmett must have sensed my nervousness as we climbed the steps up to the third level, "You don't even have to sleep there Bella" he smiled, it wasn't as magical as Edwards, but it still made me feel better. "You can come sleep on the floor in my room if you want."  
I laughed, "I've seen you're floor and I don't think I want to sleep on top of dirty socks."

He smiled, "It's just an offer. Esme also sees how you and Alice are growing apart. She just wants you guys to be friends again, she can see how much it's hurting you and I think its hurting Alice, she's just not showing it."

"Wow Emmett, I didn't think you were capable of saying anything like that."

He shrugged and put his arm around me, "You both are like little sisters to me. I don't like to see you fight."

I smiled, he was like the big brother I never had, but was he right when he said that Alice and I were growing apart. I thought I was just giving her, her space. But maybe in giving her, her space we began to drift in two opposite directions.

We got to Alice's room and Emmett dropped my stuff in the entry, "I'll be right back Bella, Rose is calling me."

I grinned, _Yeah that would be a minute, try an hour._ He dashed out the door and down the steps. I unpacked a few of my things and looked around the room, not much had changed. Maybe she hadn't changed as much as I thought.

I noticed a bouquet of red roses sitting on her window sill. _Who gave her flowers_ I wondered. I walked over to them, there was a small envelope attached. I opened it…

_**I love you and I will wait for you until the last petal hits the floor – Jas**_

I wanted to cry, that was so sweet; why was Alice being such a jerk. I counted the roses, fifteen of them, Jasper's lucky number. Sitting next to the roses was a CD. I know I should have left it, but curiosity took over.

I looked around to find a CD player and put it in and a song began, it sounded sad. I listened closely to the lyrics

_You say you gotta go and find yourself  
You say that you're becoming someone else  
Don't recognize the face in the mirror  
Looking back at you_

You say you're leavin  
As you look away  
I know theres really nothin left to say  
Just know i'm here  
Whenever you need me  
I'll wait for you

So i'll let you go  
I'll set you free  
And when you see what you need to see  
When you find you come back to me

Take your time i wont go anywhere  
Picture you with the wind in your hair  
I'll keep your things right where you left them  
I'll be here for you

(Comeback to me – David Cook)

It was exactly how I felt about Alice, and I'm assuming Jasper did too. We all thought that she was finding herself, and we all continued to wait for her to come back, but it seemed now that she wasn't coming back.

I heard footsteps running up the steps, I quickly stopped the song, but the last words stayed in my head, _"You find you, come back to me"._

Alice burst through the door and looked around, then at me. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

_She's rude_, I thought. I took a deep breath and said the nicest I could, "I'm staying here for the week, Esme told me to put my stuff in here."

She nodded and disappeared into her bathroom. This wasn't my friend.

I decided to go find Edward or Emmett, they were sure to brighten my mood and of course, they did. Just being with them made my mood better.

It wasn't until dinner that I had to face her.

I grabbed a slice of pizza and a handful of chips. "Come on Bella" Rose called, Emmett and Edward were sitting next to her outside on the ground. Emmett wanted a picnic tonight, so that's what we were doing.

I smiled and went to the fidge to grab something to drink.

I heard a weak, "Bella" from behind me. I turned around to see Alice sitting at the table by herself, "Will you come here, I need to talk to you."

I looked outside the big window to see Edward having Emmett in a head lock and Rose laughing on the side. I had waited for Alice to say those words for months, but now that she did, I would rather be outside having fun and laughing with them.

"Bella" she said with her puppy dog pout, "please?" It was some of the old Alice I knew. I smiled and sat down next to her.

"That stupid puppy dog pout gets me everytime" I laughed.

She joined in, "Then it's not that stupid is it?"

I shook my head, "I guess not." We sat there in silance for awhile, something that used to rarely surround us.

"I suppose you heard about my little meeting with Carlisle and Esme early" she said as she stared at her food.

I nodded, "What was that about?"

She looked out the window and then back at me, "I don't know why they're freaking out so much, I mean it was nothing."

"What was nothing? What did you do?" I questioned.

"It's nothing" she said moving her eyes to the ground, "I was driving home last night with Mark and Mandy."

"Hang on, who's Mark and Mandy?"

"My friends, I thought you knew that" I shook my head no, "Oh, well anyways I was driving too fast and I got pulled over, I had a sip of a beer before I left so, I had alcohol on my breath so I got a minor and a DWI."

She made it sound like it was no big deal, I didn't really know what to say, so I just sat there dumbfounded.

Alice continued, "It was just a sip. Carlsile and Esme are just overeacting. It was nothing." Her voice began to fade as if she was talking to herself. "I mean talking away my phone, for a whole week."

Was that why she was talking to me, that stupid phone was gone. I watched Emmett try to attack Edward from the back, but Edward knew he was there and moved just in time so Emmett feel flat on his face.

Jasper had joined them, he was staring at me and Alice. I immediately thought of the flowers and the CD back in Alice's room, "Alice, what's going on between you and Jasper?"

She gave me a confused look and said, "We're taking a break right now." I simply nodded, "Oh Bella, you have to meet Owen, he's so hot!"

"Oh really?" I asked with fake enthusiasim.

"Yeah, he's like a god" I let my mind wonder as she continued. Had she really just dismissed Jasper that easily for this Owen. And more importanly, did Jasper know about this so called 'break' that they were on?

The night went smoothly and I would occationally see glimpses of the old Alice. We stayed up late talking about random shit, we made malts at three o'clock in the morning and ate them while watching the Titanic in Alice's room.

"Alice what's been going on?" I asked her quietly.

She stared at me for a long time, "What are you talking about?"

I wanted to slap her, the hell she knew what I was talking about. "You've acting been different" I sighed. "You're not the same person I met two and a half years ago." She looked at me funny, but I continued, "It's like you no longer realize that being here is the best thing that's ever happened to you. You're ignoring us, you're real friends and you're boyfriend has been waiting for you and continues to wait because we all believed you needed your space. But we've given it to you and you've ran away."

She looked at me and just continued to stare, "Not everyone is as lucky as I am. I noticed that in Seattle. When I saw all of my old friends and how their lives were going, I noticed that I didn't deserve this. I don't deserve you or Jasper or this room or anyone. I'm not good enough."

"Alice you're good enough, you've been lucky and you deserve this and us. Just don't run away from us because we need you and want you."

She smiled and we both laughed. We continued to watch the Titanic and eventually fell asleep watching it.

It was something I had been hoping for, for months. I woke up on the couch with a smile on my face, Alice was across from me sleeping, just like we used to do when we fell asleep watching TV.

I got up to use the restroom, when I felt a sharp shooting pain in the bottom my left foot and screams followed.

Alice shot up, "Bella? What's the madder?" she asked groggily.

I sat on the ground, shattered glass all around me, trying to hold in more screams.

Edward rushed in moments later, "What happened?"

Alice looked around, "She must have steped on that glass" she said pointing at the statered malt glass beneath my bleeding foot.

"Get Carlisle" he said frimly pointing at the door. Alice did as he said and ran out the door. "Bella, it's going to be alright" he comforted, moving me onto his lap and wrapping something around my foot.

I nodded afraid that if I would open my mouth I couldn' t stop myself from screaming.

Alice returned with a tired looking Carlisle, "What do we have here?" he yawned.

"I think she needs stiches Carlisle, it's bleeding pretty bad" Edward said worried.

"Let me have a look" Carlisle said squating down next to Edward.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. That was my glass" Alice cried. I patted her shoulder, still scared to open my mouth.

"I think Edward's right Bella, let's get you to the hospital." Carlisle said putting his hands on my knee.

Edward stood up with me between his arms and carried me down the steps and into Carlisle waiting car.

He placed me in the back seat and crawled in next to me. Only then did I notice that he wasn't where a shirt, he perfectly chisled chest made my heart skip a beat.

Alice climbed in the passenger seat and Carlisle took off.

We arrived at the hospital in record time, Carlisle stiched me up quickly and most of it was painless do to the large amount of painkillers Edward requested I get.

"Alright Bella, I think that's it" he smiled finishing the last stitch. "Alice why don't you come with me and get some crutches for Bella."

Alice nodded and followed. "Crutches?" I asked worried.

Edward laughed his musical laugh, "You don't think you can walk on that foot do you?"

I let out a large sigh, "Great, crutches don't help they uncordinated." He chuckled, I smaked him. "Don't laugh, you don't even have a shirt on. Isn't that a rule in hospitals, that you have to have a shirt on?"

He laughed even harder, "Luckily I know the doctor."  
I rolled my eyes, "No, seriously where's your shirt?"

He pointed at a pile of white cloth, next to the sick covered in blood, "What do you think I put around your foot."

I blushed, luckily or maybe unlukily Alice returned with my death sticks.

On the way out of the hospital, I tripped once and lost my balance twice. But Edward was there each time to catch me.

That week passed quickly, Alice helped me with anything and everything. She didn't want to hang out with Emmett, Rose, Edward or Jasper. But she was willing to become close to me again, at least for the time being and that was ok with me. At least she was letting someone in.

Renee came to pick me up and just about died when she saw me. I asked Carlisle not to call her so that she wouldn't worry and he agreed so this was the first time she heard about my little accident.

It took her awhile, but she eventually calmed down and was alright with my decision to not tell her until now.

As we walked or rather Renee walked and I hobbled out to the car I saw Carlisle hand something small and pink back to Alice. Who's eyes lit up like a kids at Christmas time.

She flipped it open and her entire being changed, it was the same as it had been all summer, back to the Alice that I didn't know.

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"Alice, can you help me please?" I begged. I was babysitting Cole, but I was unable to carry him around because of my wonderful crutches.

She hesitated but agreed to be over in a couple minutes.

When the doorbell rang, Cole began to scream. I hobbled to the door and Alice popped in. "Thanks so much Alice, I just can't do anything with these things." I said pointing at my crutches.

She nodded, "Where is he?"

"The living room but…" never mind I guess, she made a mad dash for the living room leaving me in the dust.

She gently picked him up and began to rock him back and forth slowly. She looked so motherly, but again, she was glued to her phone.

It was like I was good enough for her when she could communicate with her other friends like Mark and Mandy and Owen or who ever. She was gone again.

Cole slowly drifted off to sleep, Alice brought him upstairs to his room and placed him in his crib.

"I have to go" was all she said and then hopped into her porche and left. I swear I heard her mummble, "I don't deserve anything" as she ran out the front door.

**Review :)**


	13. Could that be it?

The next week was the week I dreaded every year. It was the two weeks that I was forced to spend with Charlie in California. It's not like I did anything while I was there anyway, he was police chief of some little town out in California and left me alone most of the time. He was just wasting his money flying me out there, but I guess that's his choice. It made him feel like a father, if only for two weeks out of an entire year.

I stepped off the plane into the blazing sun. I had to squint to see. I hobbled down the steps and looked around for Charlie. Carlisle had given me the okay to ditch the crutches yesterday and I was still getting used to walking on my foot again.

I spent a total of two weeks on the crutches, one while I was staying at the Cullens and one while I was at home. But both were torture.

"Bella!" someone screamed. I looked out into the distance to see Charlie standing next to my luggage with a huge smile on his face. I put my best face forward and continued toward him.

"Hey dad" I said as I approached him.

He gave me an awkward hug, picked up my bags and headed for the cruiser. Not exactly my favorite way of transportation, but my only option. "How ya been Bells?" he asked.

I gave him the best fake smile I could muster, "Pretty good" I said as we loaded my bags into the back of the cruiser.

He nodded, "That's good, how's that friend of yours, um Alice?" he asked.

Last year when I came to stay with Charlie, Alice had come with me to make the trip better, and it was. We hung out at the beach and got tans, well Alice tanned, I tried. But this time I would have to bare it by myself.

I opened up the passenger side door to the cruiser and got in. Charlie smiled to let me know that it was ok to continue. I took a deep breath, "She's doing pretty good. She had other things to do this time, so she couldn't come." No need to go into details about our problems right now.

"Understandable" he smiled looking at me, "So how's your mom doing?" He always brought up Renee. I don't think he has ever really got over her, even though it had been over fourteen years.

I took a deep breath, "Um, she's been good dad, she's happy with Phil and Cole."

His face turned into a slight frown when I mentioned them. "Oh yeah, I heard you have a new little half brother" he said with fake interest. I nodded and turned to stare out the window. "How do you like having a sibling for a change?" he continued.

I flipped around to face him, this was one of the longest conversations we ever had, but it was extremely uncomfortable on my part. Especially when I knew that he still loved Renee. He still had their wedding picture up in his house.

I sighed, "It's nice to not be the center of attention all the time. Renee doesn't worry constantly about me anymore."

He nodded again taking it in, and then mumbled, "I never wanted you to be an only child." He said it super quiet, I didn't know if I was meant to hear, so I decided to pretend as if I didn't.

The rest of the ride was pretty silent, but it wasn't awkward. Charlie and I are both quieter people and preferred silence.

We pulled into Charlie's driveway of his small white two bedroom house. Every time that I came, nothing changed. The furniture looked like it came out of the 1980s and probably did. The only updated thing was his flat screen TV.

"I thought we would just order pizza tonight. Is that ok?" he asked as we took our shoes off.

I grinned, "Sounds good to me."

He nodded, "Why don't you bring your stuff up to your room. I'll order the pizza" he said as he left for the kitchen.

I stood in the doorway for awhile. I had been here so many times, but it still didn't feel like home, at least not mine.

I picked up my bags and started towards "my" room. I just considered it another room to the house. I wasn't here enough for it to be mine. I reached the top step and recognized it room by the color.

When I was six Charlie let me pick the colors of my room, I picked out a dark orange and a lime green. I don't know why Charlie let me pick those colors but he did, maybe he thought that I would feel more at home here, it didn't help.

But to make it worse he let me help paint, let's just say it's not a good idea to let a six year old paint with those colors. I had decided that the colors would be better mixed, which turned out more of a baby poop brown color than anything and it's been the same ever since.

I dropped my bags in the room, which only had a small single bed and an old desk. Which Charlie probably bought at a garage sale somewhere a long time ago.

I laid down on the bed and took out my cell, it was still off from the plane. I turned it on and smiled when it buzzed telling me I had a voicemail. I instantly dialed one to see who it was from.

"Hey Bella, its Edward" the message started, "I wanted to know if you got there safely. Call me when you have a chance. Bye."

I smiled like an idiot and called him back.

"Hello?" he answered with that musical voice of his.

I felt like I could melt, just hearing his voice made me go insane. "Hey Edward" was all I said for him to recognize me.

"Bella!" he screamed, "How's California."

"Sunny" I replied and immediately regretted it, of course it's sunny. Anywhere is sunny compared to Forks is sunny, even Antarctica.

He simply laughed and shook off my stupidity. "I miss you already" he whispered into the phone, "I don't know how I'm going to survive two weeks without you."

I wanted to cry, that was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me. I hadn't seen him since this time yesterday and I'll admit it, I too missed him already.

I heard Emmett in the background, "Is it ballerina? Is it!" he boomed, "Let me talk to her."  
"No Emmett, I'm talking to her right now. You can later" Edward advised.

"Please Eddie" Emmett pleaded, I could just imagine the expressions on both their faces. "Oh come on Edward. Just let me talk to her for a minute, I'm her friend too you know."

"You're wasting my time and hers, I'll let you talk to her when I'm done" Edward continued. I heard kissing noises coming from Emmett and blushed tomato red. "Em! You know we're just friends!" Edward shouted.

"But you should be more!" Emmett taunted. I heard a little scuffle and a door slam.

"Bella, I have to go, I'll call you back in a minute." Edward said out of breath and then hung up the phone.

I tossed my phone to the end of the bed and sat back. I looked out the window and noticed how dry everything was. The grass was brown and the sun looked hot and uncomfortable.

I only had to wait about ten minutes before Edward called back. We talked for hours and everyday after that he would call to check how I was doing.

Charlie left me alone most of the day, so the calls from Edward were life savers. But as the week went on he seemed to be hiding something from me and he seemed to choose his words carefully.

The night before I left was the night I found out.

"Seriously Edward, I know something's going on. What is it?" I asked for the thousandth time.

"It's nothing that can't wait until you get home" he replied.

"But I want to know now" I whined.

"Don't get angry Bella, I would rather tell you in person, to be there for you."

"I'm not angry, but I will if you don't tell me" I started, "Hang on, why would you have to be there for me?"

He took a deep breath, "It would be better if you waited until tomorrow."  
"But I don't want to wait until tomorrow, I want to know now!" I pleaded.

"Patients is a virtue Bella"

I laughed, "You sound like Phil!"

He chuckled, "Is that a good thing?"

"Not exactly" I admitted, "I don't like to wait, I not a patient person."

He laughed his magical laugh, "I knew that, but maybe just this once you could be?"

"Nope" I laughed, I was going to get this out of him. I began to plea "Please Edward, just tell me. I'm dieing here! Please, please, please!"

"Trust me Bella, you don't want to know" he said frustrated.

"But do I deserve to know?" I taunted.

I heard him sigh, I had done it, I had cracked him. He had to spill the beans. "If I tell you now" he began, "Promise me that you won't get upset and you will remain calm until you get home tomorrow."

I was confused, but agreed anyway, "Ok, fine, what ever. Just tell me!"

He took a deep breath, "Bella" he started, "Alice is gone."

I feel back, making my head hit the wall hard, I shook it off. "What do you mean she's gone" I asked puzzled.

He sighed again, "I…I don't know" I could tell he was confused himself, "She just left, left everything."

"Well when's she coming back?" I asked.

"That's the thing Bella" he mumbled, "I don't think she is" the last part was a whisper.

I let myself slide down my bed and coil up into a ball. This empty room suddenly seemed crowed and claustrophobic. Could she really leave without saying good-bye? Had our friendship meant nothing? I thought things were getting better a couple weeks ago, how could she?

"Bella are you still there?" he asked concerned after a while..

I nodded silently, but soon realized he couldn't see me. I mumbled a weak, "Yes."

After a moment of silence Edward spoke, "I'm sorry Bella, I know how much she means to you."

I was speechless; she couldn't be gone for good. Why would Edward think that? I sat up slowly trying to find answers to the millions of questions that taunted me. "What makes you think she's not coming back?" I asked Edward.

He hesitated at first but continued, "The last words she said as she ran out the door were 'Don't wait up for me, I won't be back'. I'm sorry Bella; there was nothing I could do to stop her."

I sat there confused and lonely, not sure what to do or say.

"Bella, she still cares for you. She wouldn't have left while you were gone if she didn't. She probably wanted to make it as painless as possible, for the both of you."

"She could have at least said good-bye" I murmured quietly.

"That may be true, but…"

I cut him off, "I'm feeling rather tired, I think I'm just going to go to bed now."

"Sure thing" he said smoothly, but I could hear the hurt in his voice. He too had lost a friend too and I wasn't being very supportive for him at the moment, but I couldn't think straight. "I'll see you tomorrow" he added.

"Yeah" I mumbled, distracted by my thoughts, "See you tomorrow."

I stared out the window into the dark Californian night, lightning bugs circled around the yard with children chasing them and putting them into jars.

_Childhood_, I thought_. _The time when we didn't have a care in the world, everything was simple. We had no responsibilities, no worries and no drama, defiantly no drama. Our biggest fear was that of the dark.

It was the time when cartoons ruled the world, boys still had cooties and everyone you met was your friend. No one could get up and leave, even if they wanted to. It was the ideal time.

But when you are young all you want to do is be a 'big kid' but as a 'big kid' you just want things to be simple again. No madder what kids say, childhood is perfect.

That night I went to bed early, trying not to think, not saying I succeeded. My dream that night was one of me and Alice trying to make cookies, in which we burned every pan because we would start talking and forget about them. I woke up with regret for not doing more things like that.

I had an early flight that morning. My plane took off at 7 so I was up at 5; repacking my stuff back to get ready to go home.

"Ready Bells?" Charlie called from downstairs.

"Almost" I called back shoving my toiletries into the last bag. I barely got it all in, but it fit. It's weird how you can go somewhere and everything fits perfectly into your bag, but when you leave, with the same amount as you came with, you can barely get the bag closed.

I grabbed all my stuff and took one last look around the room to make sure I didn't forget anything.

I met Charlie at the bottom of the steps. "I'm going to miss you Bella" he said with pain in his voice, "It gets lonely around here without you."

I just smiled unsure of how to respond.

He shook his head as if to brush it aside, "It's not like you would want to stay here anyway" he mumbled to himself.

I felt bad for Charlie, he got to play dad two weeks out of the year and once in a great while on holidays. He truly did care for me more than I knew.

He picked up my bags and helped me load them back into the cruiser.

I took one last look at the small white house before I crawled into the front seat.

Charlie patted my knee as I buckled myself in, "I bet you miss Alice don't you?" He smiled, "You guys were inseparable last year."

I nodded slowly as I watched the houses fly by us, little did he know.

"I mean, god you two were attached at the hip" he chuckled, "You two even moved in sync."

This is not what I wanted to hear at the moment. I continued to stare out the window and tried to ignore him.

But unfortunately Charlie's not stupid. He looked at me concerned, "Is something going on between you and Alice?"

I pondered on what to say. "It's nothing" I lied, "I'm sure we'll work it out" or should have a while ago.

He nodded as he pulled into a parking spot at the airport. He carried my luggage for me as we headed in. I checked my baggage and headed towards security.

I turned to Charlie, "I'll miss you dad."

He smiled and I swear he had tears in his eyes, "Me too Bells, me too."

I gave him a quick hug and started towards security.

"Bella, wait…I almost forgot" he said as he handed me an envelope. "Happy birthday Bella, I know that it's not for two weeks, but I figured since you're here I might as well."

"Oh um, thanks dad" I said opening the small envelope. His face brightened as I pulled out two plane tickets. I looked at him confused.

He chuckled, "It's so you and Alice can come visit me again. I know you don't like to come here alone, so I got one for Alice too. Come get some sun, anytime."

I didn't know what to say, how could I tell him that it would never happen. I smiled obnoxiously, "Thanks dad" I said and gave him a hug, "I should really be going."

He nodded, "You don't want to miss your flight."

"Thanks again, I'll see you soon" I said with as much enthusiasm I could.

His smile grew, "Yeah! See you soon."

The plane ride was terrible, all I could think about was the worthless birthday present in my back pocket.

This all felt like a bad dream that I would wake up any minute from to find out that everything was normal again. I couldn't believe Alice was gone, at least not for good.

To my surprise, Renee wasn't there to pick me up at the airport, Edward was.

"Bella" he screamed as he walked toward me. I ran toward him at a sprint. But of course, being me I tripped over my own two feet, but right before my face hit the ground he caught me.

I blushed as he pulled me into a standing position. "Thanks" I murmured embarrassed.

Edward just smiled my favorite smile and helped me out to his car. As soon as I stepped outside, I knew I was home. Everything was green, not brown and there was a slight mist.

"I've missed you" he sighed into my ear, "Two weeks is to long."

I blushed and turned to look at him, he was staring right back at me. I blushed even redder, but just kept walking, unable to speak. And we both kept quiet on the ride, and didn't speak until we turned into the Cullen's drive.

"What are we doing? Aren't you supposed to be taking me home?" I asked confused.

He parked the car in the garage and turned to look at me. His face looked concerned. "I need you to do something for me" he said seriously.

"Anything" I answered to quickly.

He chuckled slightly, "Bella, we haven't gotten Esme out of bed since, well since, Alice left" he whispered the last part.

Before he could say anything else I jumped out of the car and ran up the steps to Alice's room. I needed to see for myself that she was gone. I threw the door open and looked around. Everything was there, just like it had always been.

There were piles of dirty clothes, her bed unmade and a blanket draped over the couch.

Edward caught up to me and snaked his arms around my waist. I turned to see his face, "Exactly how long ago did you say she left?" I questioned.

He grimaced, "She left eight days ago, we haven't heard from her since."

I nodded and fell back into his arms, it had finally sunk in. I understood it, my best friend was gone and as far as I knew, she wasn't coming back.

I hadn't cried yet, I had been strong, but I now realized that this wasn't a dream. It was reality. I cried into Edward's shirt, probably ruining it with my salt water tears. But he didn't seem to mind, he just rubbed soothing circles on my back and told me everything would be alright, even though I didn't know how everything could be okay when I just lost my best friend, one of my only friends.

I cried continually into the night and as soon as I would calm down from one fit, something would remind me of Alice and it would start all over again.

Edward eventually got me out of her room and into his, where I sat on his lap and cried until I had no more tears.

"Do you want to go home?" he asked gingerly sometime as it got dark. I shook my no. I just wanted to stay in the comfort of his arms. He chuckled, "You can stay here tonight, but Renee will kill me if I steal you for any longer, she was supposed to get you back today."

"This is a special circumstance" I shivered.

"I'm going to change, I'll be right back" he said kissing the top of my head and got up and went into the bathroom.

I laid there for awhile looking up at the ceiling, million questions buzzing through my head, but the one that continued to come up was, _'Why'_ and the question that continued to haunt me for years.

I slowly got up to stretch my legs when I realized Edward had left a shirt and boxers for me to wear. I silently thanked him; I was still wearing what I wore on the plane.

I changed quickly and looked around the room. I had been in there before, but only to quickly grab something or to ask Edward a question. I never truly got the chance to look around.

I moved around looking at random pictures he had scattered about, the first one was of him as a baby with Emmett and what I assumed was his parents, Elizabeth and Edward Sr. The next ones were of him and Emmett growing up and the last picture was one taken last year around this time and I immediately regretted looking.

Everyone was sitting outside in the meadow. Emmett, Rose, Edward and I were laughing at something Emmett had said and Alice and Jasper were just looking at each other with stupid grins on there face. Everyone looked so happy.

Edward walked out of the bathroom and noticed me staring at the picture and rushed to my side. I tried to cry but I couldn't, my eyes were dry.

He carried me and set me on the bed. I stared at him and tried to think of happy things, things that didn't involve Alice, but that made everything worse.

Edward pulled me close to him and began to hum, it was a peaceful melody. It made me forget everything and I soon drifted off into a deep dreamless sleep.

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That morning I woke up in Edward's arms. It took me a while to remember why I was there. But it unfortunately all came back to me.

I began to blame myself for Alice's leaving. "Maybe if I would have talked to her when she came back from Seattle, nothing would have changed" I explained to Edward.

He shook his head, "Bella, you can't keep blaming this on yourself."  
"But if I just…"

"But nothing" he said sweetly putting his hand on my face, "It's not fault."

"But it is Edward" I cried, "It is, I know it is. I could have at least tried to fix things with her, found out what was going on, something. I just never tried."  
"You did what you thought was best and at the time we all did. We gave her space and she took it and went running. You cannot blame this on yourself. You just can't" he said seriously.

I looked to the ground and mumbled, "But I am."

He shook his head slowly and squeezed me into his chest, "Come with me" he said quickly pulling me out the door and down the hall.

"Edward?" I screamed, "What are you doing?"

He didn't answer until we were in front of Carlisle and Esme's room, "Bella, if you won't believe me then you are going to talk to Esme. She can explain to you what I can't."

I gave him a dazed look, "What do you mean?"

He chuckled and kissed the top of my head, "Just go talk to Esme, she may have more answers than you know."

I nodded and opened the door slowly. I turned back to look at Edward, who just pushed me forward. When I was inside he closed the door behind me.

The room was dark and kleenexes covered the floor. I walked over to the bed, "Esme?" I called calmly as I approached her lifeless figure.

She began to stir and turned to show her face. Her eyes were red and puffy; she looked like she hadn't slept in days.

"Bella" she mumbled, I nodded. "I suppose Edwards told you?" I nodded again as I fought back tears. She motioned for me to sit down next to her.

She embraced me as I sat down. I took one look at Esme depressed figure and we both began to cry. We held each other and cried, how could one person hurt us both so much?

"Why Esme? Why did she just leave? Without a good-bye?" I wailed.

She sniffled, "I know Bella. There are so many questions I want answered myself."

After awhile Esme reached over to her nightstand and handed me an envelope.

I fought back tears and asked, "What's this?"

"Answers" she smiled slightly.

I stared back confused. "It's not much" she continued, "But it's all I've got."

I sat back against the pillows and slowly opened the small white envelope.

_Bella, If you are in pain right now I'm sorry. I am sorry for any hurt I have caused you. But I couldn't face you, I couldn't say good-bye. I had been planning to slowly stray away from you so it wouldn't hurt you as much when I left, but as you know it didn't work. It was too easy for me to forget my plan a couple weeks ago. But the truth is I don't belong here and I never did. I have done things that you could only imagine and you deserve better friends than me. I promise you, you will never have to face me again if you don't want to and I'll totally understand if you don't. You are the best thing that ever happened to me Bella and you will forever be in my heart – Alice_

I looked at Esme when I finished reading while silent tears flooded down my cheeks.

"You're the only one that got one Bella. She cares for you and don't ever forget that because she may need you one day and you two were to close to just forget each other."

I looked at her confused, "Why, why'd she leave? I still don't get it."

Esme hugged me tightly and gently stroked my hair, "I don't know why, the only information we have is the one in that note."

"But how could she just leave us, leave me…leave you" I cried.

Esme smiled and continued to stroke my hair, "That's what I want to know. All I know is that I lost one daughter this week and I don't plan to lose another."

I looked into her eyes and could tell she meant every word.

"I gave up on having a daughter so many years ago. Well actually I never thought that I would have children and then when my sister died I suddenly had two beautiful boys. Then you and Alice came into my life. Actually everything good has come in twos" she laughed, "I don't care if you aren't technically related to me Bella, you are my daughter and so is Alice. You will always be."

"You're like a second mom to me Esme and Alice is my sister" I said truthfully.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It took us another two weeks to get Esme out of her bedroom, but everyday I would go and see her. She seemed to be happier when I was there.

We comforted each other and tried to make sense of everything. But never did, we both lost someone who meant everything to us. But in the back of my mind she wasn't gone, at least not forever.

Hope, that's what it came down to. I still had hope and with hope I knew that I would see Alice again. I would find the answers that haunted my dreams at night. I would see my best friend again.


	14. What should have been

Everyday I felt like I was in a fog, I let myself fall into a deep hole of depression and regret. And every time that **her** name was mentioned I let myself fall deeper into it.

I would wake up every morning feeling as if I could sleep for another ten hours. I would mope around the house and I rarely talked to anyone.

I could no longer cry, but there was part of me missing. Part of me that could never be replaced, we had been more than friends or sisters. We shared something that most people never did. We were complete opposites. Everything about us was different but yet so much was the same.

She was the only one that truly understood me, the only one that I ever completely trusted. Just by one simple look I could tell what was wrong with her and likewise she could with me.

It was scary how we could finish each others sentences and even tell what the other was thinking.

There was a strange connection between us and many realized it. But many also realized how different we were.

And that was the best conclusion I could come up with at the time, we were just opposites. There was only so much that you can take of someone who has little in common with you and Alice and I had exhausted that time.

Two months had passed and there was still no word from Alice. Carlisle began spending more and more time at the hospital and you couldn't look at Esme without seeing the hurt and sorrow this had caused her. Even Emmett was affected. Though he didn't show it very often but underneath that big tough guy mask there was a man missing his little sister.

Edward never let me see how hurt he was. He tried to be strong for me, but Esme told me that he too would break down and show how hurt he was at home, when he thought no one was watching.

No one was the same. My once happy little family of friends was being torn apart.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I woke up one night, unable to sleep like normal but light outside my room were still on. I looked at the clock 1 AM.

I sat up quickly, confused. I slowly snuck out of my room and sat at the top of the steps. I heard hushed voices coming from the kitchen below.

"Are you sure that she did this?" Renee asked worried.

"There is a vast amount of evidence" said a strangely familiar voice. I listened harder to try and connect the voice with a face. "It's not like someone could have force fed her all those pills and made her go to bed. She drained a half bottle of Tylenol and a bottle of anti-depressants" he continued.

"So what are you saying Carlisle!" Renee questioned. Carlisle, that's who it is, but what was he doing here? "That, that sweet little girl tried to kill herself?" Renee continued.

_Who tried to kill them self? _I wondered, _I bet it's that Jessica Stanley from school. Everything in her life is always so tragic; it's always the end of the world with her._

"I'm just relaying the message that I was given. But yes that's what the hospital said. Esme's on her way down to Seattle right now to check on her" Carlisle replied.

_Seattle?_ I thought,_ that couldn't be Jessica, who are they talking about? _But my question was too quickly answered.

"How could Alice do this to us?" Renee cried, "First she leaves without a word and hurts everyone. Then she goes off and tries to commit suicide! I don't get it."

Seattle, suicide, Alice. They were the only words that I could remember, but enough words to send me into another emotional breakdown.

"Renee" Carlisle said calmly, "You have to remember, she is okay. She's going to make it. She is still alive."

Phil let out a large sigh, "She'll just be another statistic. Another pot head, alcoholic, underage mother…"

"Phil" Renee yelled, "You can't say that."

"But she will" he retorted, "She had such a good thing going, staying with the Cullens. But she forgot how different things were for her before. She forgot how good she had it."

"We were only doing what we thought was best" Carlisle said lowly.

"It's not you're fault Carlisle" Phil quickly corrected, "Alice just didn't realize how good things were for her."

"That's enough Phil" Renee scolded, "Please, no one tell Bella. She's been so sad lately; I don't want this to hurt her anymore."

_Too late_, I thought as I ran to my room so they couldn't hear me cry. Without reason, I picked up the phone and called Edward.

"Hello?" he answered half asleep.

I didn't know what I had called for or what to say. I just cried into the phone, repeating the question that I had, had for months, "Why?"

"She's alright Bella" he responded followed by a roar of an engine, "Hold on I'll be right there."

I threw the phone against the wall breaking it into two pieces but I didn't care I just cried harder. Not five minutes later Edward appeared at my window. I rushed to open it and stuck my head out and asked "And you couldn't use the door like a normal person?"

He stepped inside, embraced me and smiled my favorite crooked smile. "Renee" was all he said but it was enough.

Renee didn't like me to have boys upstairs and one in my bedroom at night would be out of the question.

I gave him a weak smile to show I understood before the tears started again.

Edward began rubbing my back slowly trying to calm me down.

After awhile I slowly began to calm down. Edward took a deep breath, "Bella, Alice has hurt us all. But you can't dwell on the past or what should have been, you have to live in the future. She meant more to you than any of us, but you have to look back on the happy times and remember her for that instead of the times she hurt you."

"Easier said than done" I rolled my eyes.

He chuckled, "That's my Bella."

"No, seriously Edward" I said looking into his beautiful green eyes. "How am I supposed to move past this? How could she try to kill herself? If I would have only talked to her before she left. Maybe I could have prevented all of this."

Edward shook his head, "No, Bella. This is what I'm talking about. You can't keep blaming yourself. You guys grew up and something changed. Friends can change, people change. It's a fact of life."

"But I don't want to grow up" I whined, "I want to stay young forever if it means that none of this happens."

"You can't go back in time and change the past. As much as you or I want to, we can't. We have to deal with what has happened and hang on to the friends we have left."

I shook my head in agreement. "Edward, I don't know what I would do without you" I said as I blushed.

He laughed slightly as he came closer to me, "My life would be empty without you" he whispered right before his lips crashed into mine. It took awhile for it all to register in my brain but as I slowly came around I kissed him back. I felt right, so magical. It wasn't what I had thought my first kiss would be like, it was better.

After awhile I cuddled up next to Edward on my bed and used his chest as a pillow. He draped one arm around me to keep me close. It felt right, to be in his arms for the first time as more than just a friend.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know, I heard Go Diego Go playing below for Cole. I jumped up quickly and shook Edward awake.

His eyes shot open, "What is it?" he asked worried.

"How did you get here last night?" I asked concerned.

"My car" he replied simply.

"Shit, she's probably already seen it" I said as I pushed him out of bed. "Renee's going to kill us." He chuckled and I slapped him, "You think this is funny?"  
Edward continued to laugh, "No, you're just cute when you're mad." I rolled my eyes. "Anyway, I parked around the corner. She would never suspect I'm here."

I breathed a sigh of relief as I let myself fall back onto the pillows. Edward was already standing beside the bed putting his shoes on.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

He gave me his famous crooked smile, "I'm going to go get my car and come in through the front door so I don't have to hind."

I gave him a small frown, but he just laughed and tossed me his cell. I gave him a confused look, "What's this for?"

"You said last night that maybe if you could have talked to Alice before you could have prevented all of this. It may be too late for that but it's not too late to change the future. I'll be back in ten minutes. Do this, for me."

I didn't nod or give any recognition that I understood. I just sat there staring at the phone. Edward gave me a quick kiss and started out the window. Right before he disappeared he yelled in, "It's speed dial number four."

I stared at his phone for awhile, debating weather or not to call her. Her note never said anything about never wanting to talk to me again, but I always felt as if that's how she felt. But maybe she did need me now, more than ever. Maybe she was feeling alone and needed a friend to help her. Maybe Edward was right, maybe I could change the future.

I dialed four and hit send. With every ring my heart went faster and my breathing became more uneven. My brain went crazy with what ifs and maybes. But the phone continued to ring until it reached her voicemail.

I breathed a sigh of relief but also was sad that she didn't answer. The short recording of her high soprano voice made me want to talk to her even more.

"Bella" Renee called up the steps "Edward's here." I looked at the clock, exactly ten minutes. I guess I had one person I could trust, at least for now.

I put his phone in my back pocket so Renee wouldn't see and headed down to the kitchen, still in my sweats and T-shirt that I slept in.

Renee gave me a worried look when she saw me but I ran passed her and straight into Edward's arms.

She smiled to herself and went into the living room with Cole.

Edward pulled me back so he could look at me full on, "Did you call? Tell me truthfully, you know you're a terrible liar."

I gave him a shrug. "She didn't answer" I said simply.

He nodded, "They usually take phones and other means of connection to the outside world when you've been admitted to the hospital for suicide. They don't want the person to try again because of a conversation with someone."  
I turned my head to the side, "So I'm the one that made Alice try and kill herself?"

He shook his head but remained speechless with his mouth open.

"What?" I asked paranoid.

Edward let out a huge smile, "You don't know what you just did, did you?"

I gave him a confused look, "I guess not?!" It was more of a question that a statement

His smile grew, "You said her name and you didn't even realize it, it wasn't so hard was it? You haven't said her name since she left and you cry every time that someone says Alice. But look you can get passed this. You just showed me you can."

I gave him a peck on the lips, "Maybe I can."

"That's all I ask for" he whispered as he pulled me closer and kissed me with more passion than ever before.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

With Edward's help things started to get better. He helped me move past the regret and helped me realize that I can change the future.

I tried to call Alice every couple days but she never answered. Every time I heard that short recording of her voice my heart longed to ask her the questions that had been haunting my dreams.

Every night Edward would sneak into my bedroom and sing me to sleep. It helped with the reoccurring nightmares. You see even though I was better on the outside and during the day but my brain would sub cautiously bring back the painful day that Alice left and the day she tried to kill herself while I slept.

I learned that I could no longer hold on to the past. I had to tough it out and grow up, no matter how bad I wanted everything to go back to normal.

That first night Edward stayed over was the night that changed me for the better. I started to make new friends at school and grew closer than ever to Edward.

But that is when I realized that growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But that night, I think I knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, I didn't have to hate her for getting older. I just had to forgive her... for growing up before me.

**Sorry for the wait. And for any of you wondering you can live after you've taken that many pills, my best friend once tried to when something very disturbing happened to her.**

**Thanks to all you read…please review it helps.**


	15. Go on?

**Surprise! I had this done yesterday but the site was down :(**

As time passed I thought about Alice, more and more often. I thought about all the times that we played tricks on Emmett and Rosalie or when she would give me advice on how to talk to Edward.

I remembered her high soprano laugh, always so heartwarming. As I searched through all my memories, I always got stuck at one little spot.

What had changed us? Why did we stop hanging out? We both grew up but what truly changed?

A year had passed since I had last heard anything about her. But I strangely began thinking of her more and more. Maybe it was because I was growing so close to Edward. We had many late night talks about him.

She always said that we would make a cute couple and that he liked me, but I refused to listen, thinking I would never be good enough for Edward Cullen. I guess I was wrong.

He was the one that helped me through everything and when the tickets for me to visit Charlie were about to expire he was the one that came with me.

I don't know how Renee got Charlie to agree to it but she talked to him and he reluctantly agreed. I don't think I have ever seen Charlie so much on one of my visits. He took many days off from work and was home most of the time, probably to watch us.

But that trip also brought back memories of Alice. I think the reason I began to think of her more was because I really missed her.

One night as I sat at the counter watching Renee cook yet another strange concoction which was barely edible she slowly eased Alice into the conversation.

"So, are you nervous about your test?" She asked nonchalantly. I was going to be taking my drivers test tomorrow.

"Kind of, I'm more nervous about trying to Parallel Park the suburban." I said honestly.

"Well actually if you want Esme said that you could borrow her car."

"Yeah that's a lot better, an Escalade. It may be a little smaller, but it's like a thousand times more expensive."

"Well, not that car exactly" She hesitated.

"Then what car? Emmett's jeep, Carlisle's Mercedes? I already asked Edward, but he wouldn't let be drive, "his baby"" I laughed. Edward would do anything for me, but his Volvo was something absolutely no one could touch, even me.

"Well actually shesaidyoucouldusethePorsche" She mumbled, knowing how uncomfortable I was with the topic of Alice.

"Well that was nice of her" I whispered, not knowing if I could handle being in that car again, let alone taking my drivers test in it. "I'll have to think about it."

When Alice left the Cullens she left everything they had given her, clothes included. I guess she told them that she felt like they didn't belong to her, but it hurt me every time I went over there to visit.

It hurt me to pass by her old room or look at the various pictures on the walls, which included many of Alice and me. I didn't visit much, Edward and I mostly hung out at my house, he knew my reasons without ever having to tell him.

He could read me like a picture book. It was annoying sometimes, but other times it was like a gift from God.

"So Bella" Renee started, I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that she was dropping the subject, "I went to lunch with Esme today" that was common, especially now with Edward and I dating.

"Oh really, did you have fun" I asked with fake interest.

"Well yeah, um, did you hear that Alice is pregnant?"

I wanted to scream, what happened? I had heard people talking about her, saying that she would just be another statistic. Another underage mother, druggy, drunk and more, they said that she was going fall into the wrong crowd if she left the Cullens and that going back to Seattle would just make it worse.

Phil once told Renee that she would go get herself knocked up, quit school, get a job paying minimum wage and live of welfare for the rest of her life, which we pay for he added angrily.

I always thought that that would never happen. I thought that she was smarter than that, that she would rise above everyone's expectations.

I guess I was wrong, she couldn't break free from the life she was born into. She just became another statistic.

I soon remembered a conversation we had had when she was a freshman in high school.

"_Yeah, there are so many sluts at school" She smiled, "There's two pregnant girls."_

"_Wow, stupid people, they're still in high school and having babies, some life they're going to have." I replied._

"_Yeah I know, I'll never be that stupid. I mean one's planning to drop out of high school. And the other is planning to finish high school, but she probably won't go to college, so they'll never get a good job and they'll never go anywhere in their lives" She laughed as she painted her pinky toe a lime green color._

"_Yeah" was all I could say as I searched for a nice simple color for my nails._

"_My college is already paid for. Before my dad died he made sure that Cynthia and I would have college funds, that our mom couldn't touch. Promise me Bella, don't be stupid like those girls, don't get pregnant."_

"_I'm not that stupid, but you to!"_

"_Of course!"_

"_Ok" I laughed._

_She smiled, "then we here by swear that we will never be stupid and get pregnant during high school!" _

I know that that was just a stupid promise made three years ago, but I still felt hurt.

She senior in high school! What was she doing! I wanted to cry.

"She's due in March, but she's already 18 so she thinks she's going to get married" Renee grimaced. She was probably thinking of how she got married to Charlie around that age and how it didn't work.

In another one of our late night talks…

"_So, when you get married to Edward, can I be your maid of honor?" Alice asked with a sly smile._

"_God Alice, Edward and I aren't even dating and now you're planning our wedding!" I screamed._

"_Well you to are as good as dating, you're all each other talks about and the way you two look at each other, its like looking at an old married couple."_

_I blushed, I did that every time someone brought up Edward and I, "He looks at me the same as way he looks at any other girl. Anyway I'm not even in high school yet, he wouldn't want to be seen with me" I complained. _

"_You'd be surprised, he's changed over the summer. He isn't all rapped up in his friends and football. Have you noticed that he's been home a lot more lately? That's all for you, he wants to see you!"_

"_Yeah right, so how's Jasper?" I asked trying to change the subject._

"_Oh, really good, you know that. We both love each other so much…hang on smooth there move mister. But I'm not changing the subject that easily, at least not until you admit that you like Edward."_

"_You know I like him Alice, it's just that he doesn't like me."  
"You are so naïve, he likes you, A LOT!"_

"_Sure, sure" I mumbled._

"_Ok, fine just promise me when you two get married that I can be the maid of honor."_

"_Of course! Well as long as I can be yours" I said with a greedy smile. _

"_Well let me think, I guess I could have you up there next to me, it would help if I had an ugly person next to me so that all the eyes were on me…"_

"_ALICE!" I cut her off, and punched her shoulder as hard as I could._

"_Guez Bella, I was just kidding" she said as she rubbed her shoulder, "DUH! Bella you helped me when no one else cared and for that I am eternally grateful, the least I could do is let you be my maid of honor."_

_I smiled. _

"_I promise that the day I get married, I will have you standing next to me, helping me pursue the next step in my life, just like you have done a million times before" Alice beamed._

_I blushed, "Yeah, me too." Alice gave me an annoyed look, but I just shrugged and she laughed._

Again, just another stupid promise broken. I know that I shouldn't care, but I did. I wanted to see her; I wanted to be there for her. I wanted to talk to her, to comfort her again.

I had denied it for a year now. I didn't want anyone to know how much she hurt me. I had let everyone see how hurt I was at first, but it just hurt them to and I didn't want that. So I kept it inside, but deep down I missed her.

I tried to call her multiple times a week but there was never an answer.

Renee continued talking and I would nod occasionally, but I didn't hear what she was saying. I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts.

I was saved when Phil came home from practice; he was a minor league baseball player, or at least trying to be. He wasn't very good though.

He wrapped his arm around Renee's middle and kissed her gently. I took it as my queue to leave. I as I walked to my room, I pulled out my cell, looking through the contacts. I saw Alice's name.

I wanted to call her, to ask her what the hell was going on, but I knew that I would it would be the same as usually, just her voicemail.

At the moment I wanted to scream at her. I wanted to know why she had run off the way she did. I wanted to find out why she had been so stupid and gotten herself pregnant. But mostly I wanted to know why she was going to get married to this guy. I wanted answers.

She may be in love now, but it's a high school romance. If she remembered anything about me, I wished she would remember that this kind of relationship doesn't work out and it hurts the child more than you think.

My mom was pregnant when she married my dad and their marriage lasted a whole two years. They probably wouldn't have even stayed together that long if it wasn't for me. I told her how hard it was and still is for me.

"_Alice she's pregnant!" I cried. Renee and just told me that she's three months pregnant._

"_It won't be that bad, you won't be any only child anymore" Alice advised._

"_Yeah Bella, you'll have a baby brother or sister who you can dress up" Rosalie added._

"_You guys don't understand. Babies break up marriages, they make everything so much more stressful" I blubbered._

"_Bella what are you talking about?" Rosalie asked instantly._

"_The only reason my parents got married was because Renee was pregnant with me"_

"_What does that have to do with this?" Rosalie inquired._

"_You don't see, Renee and Phil haven't even been married for a year! I don't want this baby to go through the same things I have had to. Having kids right away ruins a marriage, there is no time for them to get to know each other better."_

"_Bella what have you had to go through? And your mom and Phil dated for five years before they got married. Your parents dated during high school. This is different, it will be fine" Alice encourage._

"_Being shipped back and forth between my parents like a package is not fine. I get on a plane to go visit my dad in California for two or three weeks a year. My parents never see or speak to each other, ever!" I cried, "There are so many things in a kid's life that you want both parents to see. Or if you go over to a friend's house and see their parents sitting on the couch together watching TV peacefully, it's hard. I don't ever remember my parents together, when I was little one of my friends once asked me, 'Why doesn't your daddy live here?' and I didn't know why, it hurts. Divorce hurts; it hurts kids even if they don't show it. It hurts them more than you know."  
"Bella, Renee and Phil aren't getting a divorce. My parents had me a year after they were married. It worked out. This child will have two of the most loving parents and a great sister to take care of it. Not to mention two amazing personal shoppers." Rosalie winked at Alice._

_I laughed. _

"_It will work out Bella, believe me" Alice assured me._

And that it did. Cole was almost two now and thriving. Renee and Phil didn't loose their love for each other, they grew in it.

They were a little scatterbrained sometimes, but you could always tell that they loved each other and their son.

Alice was making the mistakes everyone always thought she would and it made me angry. She could do so much better.

That night I tried to call Alice again for the millionth time and with no surprise I got her voicemail. But for the first time I didn't just hang up, I waited for that dreading little beep. I needed her to know that I was here and trying to contact her.

It was the first message I had left, I kept it simple and sweet, "Hey Alice, It's Bella. It's been so long; please call me back I have so much I need to tell you."

She never did call back. But it made me feel better to know that she knew I was still here for her.

From then on little things started to fall apart in my life. I began not caring about school or other friends. I couldn't trust others anyway.

Edward must have noticed to because one night I found a slip of paper under a pile of shirts in my room.

All that was written on it as a simple quote in Edward's perfect handwriting:

_"You can shed tears that she is gone, or you can smile because she has lived. You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back, or you can open your eyes and see that she left. You heart can be empty because you can't see her or you can be full of love you shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. You can remember her only that she is gone, or you can cherish her memory and let it live on. You can cry and close you mind, be empty and turn you back. Or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on." _

That's what I was trying to do but I was so confused that it was hard. I was in a state between the depressed numb feeling of before and the happier that I had made myself, but that all changed the day that I arrived in the Seattle Hospital maternity ward.

**This isn't why Bella is in the hospital with Alice now for anyone wondering…**


	16. Time to move on

_"Now you're gone, I wonder why you left me here. I think about it on and on and on and on and on again. I know you're never coming back. But I hope that you can hear me. I'm waiting to hear from you, until I do, you're gone away. I'm left alone a part of me is gone and I'm not moving on. So wait for me I know the day will come...I wish I could have told you the things I've kept inside. But now I guess it's just too late. So many things remind me of you. I hope that you can hear me, I miss you. This is good-bye one last time, and wherever I go you'll be there with me, forever you'll be right here with. No matter where life takes me, I'll meet you there..."__~Simple Plan_

I walked around the corner to the nursery window and peered in. I looked around to find the right baby. I scanned the rows of tiny infants, some sleeping, some crying but all perfect.

I looked at each name tag carefully, hoping to find the right one. I felt my eyes tear up when I found her, Baby Girl Brandon. Alice had a girl and a beautiful one at that. She was the only one that was awake and not crying. She so content just to look around at the new strange world she was forced into.

I began to cry silent tears as I watched her squirm around in her small bassinet. I felt Edward wrap his arms around me and kiss my neck gently. "She's so little" he whispered in my ear.

"She's perfect" I sniffled, "Just like Alice."

Alice had been right all along, she said that she would have a girl then a boy. She claimed that it was scientifically proven that you can tell how many kids you would have and their sexes by the creases in your eyes when you shut them. I never believed her, but this made me think twice. She had said that I would have three boys and twins. I never really thought about it before but now that I believed she could be right I wondered if that would mean I would have three kids or five. I never got to ask.

A nurse inside brought her up to the window so we could see her closer. She had Alice's dark black hair and short flat nose. She was so small compared to the other infants, but if she got any of her mother's genes, it made sense.

A river of tears flowed out of me. I had so many emotions going through me; hate, fear, sadness, anger, hurt, confusion, longing, hope, love for this new life and dread for letting my best friend stray away from me.

I didn't realize it but Edward must have picked me up, brought me back to the waiting room and placed me on his lap. He gently kissed my hair and held me tight to his chest.

I breathed in his sweet scent as my crying subsided. "I love you" I mumbled under my breath.

Edward smiled, "I know." He gave me a tight one armed hug and kissed the top of my head, "I love you too."

We sat like that for awhile, me resting in his lap with his arms tightly around me and his face buried in my hair. He leaned down to kiss my ear, "Did you want to see her?" he murmured softly, not breaking the kiss.

I contemplated it for awhile. I had come to see Alice, but after seeing her daughter and loosing myself in my emotions I didn't know if I could do it. I didn't know if I could refrain from screaming at her, for leaving me, for not answering my calls, for ignoring me, for forgetting about me.

Today was a day for her to celebrate the birth of her daughter, not get attacked by an angry and confused teenager, who felt so hurt because of everything she did and didn't do.

"You don't have to if you don't want to love. I'll understand completely, we can just go home" he mumbled as he kissed the sides of my face.

He made it so hard to think when he did this. I made a rash decision, "No, we came here to see her; we're not leaving until we do."

"That's my girl" he smiled and kissed me gingerly on the lips. I wrapped my hands in his hair and pulled him closer. Soon I was straddling him, as he sat in the waiting room chair. I could feel him smile, but he didn't break the kiss.

I heard a couple coughs and groans around us, which reminded me that others were here too. "Let's go find Alice" I smiled with confidence, pulling Edward to his feet and dragging him to the reception desk.

"Alice Brandon's room please" I asked politely.

The girl looked up at me and rolled her eyes. She typed something in on the computer, looked up at us and shook her head, "Not in here."

I looked at Edward nervously; he smiled and leaned over the desk, "Try Mary Alice Brandon."

She rolled her eyes again and typed something on the computer, she looked up at Edward and said "Room 426, it's the third door on your left" as she smacked a piece of chewing gum loudly.

"Thanks" I mumbled, truly irritated with her rudeness. Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me toward Alice's room.

My pace slowed down as we approached her room. Edward came and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "It will be alright" he smiled crookedly. I turned quickly to look away, still unsure. "Hey, none of that" he said softly, putting a finger under my chin and pulling my face up to look at him. "You don't have to do this, but you know why you came here and I know why you came here. You miss Alice and you want to help her. And I bet you a million dollars she does too."

I nodded timidly. Took a deep breath, stepped forward and knocked on the door.

A tall dark man answered. I didn't recognize him; he had flame orange hair that went down to shoulders and tattoos covered his entire body. He was dressed in a white cut off t-shirt and big baggy black pants. He took one look at me and sighed, "We're not buying any damn girl scout cookies bitch, so just move along" gesturing for us to leave.

Edward became tense and ridged and his jaw tightened. I tugged his arm as hard as I could to try to make him forget it. But Edward being his protective self couldn't drop something like that easily. He pushed me behind him and walked up to the strange man. "Who are you to talk to her like that?" he growled.

"And who are you to defend her like that?" the man fired back.

"Her boyfriend" Edward snarled through his teeth. It didn't matter that he was defending himself to an idiot, when he proudly claimed that he was my boyfriend, it made my heart stop.

The man let out a low snort, "You're girlfriend?" Edward nodded proudly putting his arm around me. "I wouldn't see a bitch like that even if she was the last one on earth."

I slumped down, knowing he was right. I was nothing, a Plain Jane and next to Edward I must look ridiculous. I wasn't good enough for him; he could have so much better than me. I was just plain.

A small growl escaped from Edward's throat. He stepped forward ready to fight. I jumped in-between them, "Edward NO!" I screamed, "He's not worth it."

"Are you going to let this bitch tell you what to do, or are you going to fight me like a real man?" the strange man questioned.

Edward gave me a pleading look, but I shook my head no. Edward's head bowed in defeat. I smiled and turned to the man, "Can we please just go in and see Alice?"

"And who may you be?" he asked rudely, "How do you know Alice?"

"Does it madder?" Edward roared. The man nodded and Edward sighed, "I'm Edward Cullen and this is Bella Swan. We are old friends of Alice's." The man's eye lit up with the sound of our names. He seemed to reevaluate us.

He mumbled something under his breath and then turned to us, "Sorry, doesn't sound familiar. She never mentioned you."

My eyes clouded up. I tried to hold back the tears as Edward and the man fought. I didn't listen to them. All I thought was how could Alice never mention me? Had our friendship meant nothing to her? And who exactly was this guy? Who was he to say who could see Alice and who couldn't?

"Alice! Alice it's me, Bella! Come out, I need to talk to you! Please Alice, please" I screamed over the man.

"Shut up bitch you'll wake her."

"Stop calling her a bitch" Edward yelled, trying to get past the man.

"Alice please. Please." I cried, falling to my knees.

Edward exchanged a few choice words with the man and bent down to me. He picked me up and carried me bridal style out of the maternity ward and down to the car.

I don't remember much about the rest of that day. I was pretty much in a fog. I couldn't feel any emotions. Edward kept telling me that I did nothing wrong and that we would find a way to see her, no madder how long it took.

I wanted to believe him, but at the same time I couldn't. It had taken us almost a year and a half to make an attempt to see her which didn't even work. I didn't want to think how long it would take to actually see her.

As time passed, I soon gave up hope on seeing Alice again. I think the reason I was able to semi go back to my normal self before was that I had a small hope that Alice would still come back, that I would see her again and it would be as if nothing had happened.

But after that day in the hospital, all my hope was gone. Things could never be the same again.

Before I had put myself into a numb state, but I couldn't remember how I had done it. I felt pain all the time. My heart felt like it had been pulled apart and part of it was now missing. But I tried to hide my pain from Edward and my family. Even though they could still tell I was hurting, I just refused break down in front of them.

I later learned that the man at the hospital was the father of Alice's child and her finance, Mark.

It took awhile for me to get over everything that happened that day. I had lost all hope, which is never a good thing. But fortunately Edward was there to help me pick up the pieces. It made us grow closer as a couple.

We spent everyday together and most nights. He was my support, my crutch. He would sing to me to sleep on the nights when I couldn't. It was always the same soft sweet melody. Which I later learned was a lullaby he composed for me.

I would still wake up in terror from nightmares about Alice, but having Edward next to me calmed me. He helped pull me out of my holes of depression and was always there to comfort me.

The next three years were the hardest for me. I finished high school with barely passing grades, few friends and a bleak outlook on life.

I spent a lot of time at home playing with Cole and refusing to grow up.

Rose and I grew apart too. I don't think we were ever the best of friends. I think it was the common friendship in Alice that made us close, but once Alice was gone for good, so was our friendship.

I could still talk to her, but it was awkward. Edward and I still hung out with Emmett, Rose and Jasper but it wasn't the same. We now had an odd number and it always felt like someone was left out. Also it was hard for all of us to be together and not think of Alice.

I could barely do anything that I used to. I hated car rides and anytime someone would say 'yellow car' I would begin to cry. What's so special about yellow cars anyway? And why did Alice have to drive a stupid yellow car, out of all the colors in the world that is the one that people choose to pick out? It made my heart ache each and every time.

But shopping was the worst; I couldn't step into a mall without crying. And every time I saw a teenager with a baby I would shout, "Alice!" and go running after them. I was going insane.

Edward went to college in Seattle while I finished high school so he could be close to me. I never once visited him. I hated Seattle; it was the place I blamed for Alice changing. I always thought that maybe if I would have pressed harder she wouldn't have gone or maybe if I would have gone with her like she asked, nothing would have changed.

Little things and places would remind me of Alice. Edward always said that I just needed to get out of Forks for awhile, start over. And that was exactly it.

The week after I graduated I said my goodbyes to my family and the rainy town of Forks and set off to the University of Florida with Edward. It was surprisingly easy to leave, to go to a new place that I had never been before.

There I found comfort in writing and decided to major in journalism. It made me forget the problems I had and focus on someone else's.

Very little would remind me of Alice out there, I could enter a mall, not to say I could shop, but I could at least walk around a mall now. Teenagers with babies could now safely pass by me; my life was slowing turning around.

While I was in Forks I would try to call Alice multiple times a week, which didn't help me at all. Whenever I heard the recording of her voice my heart would sink. But after three years I gave up. She just didn't want to talk to me.

I still call her periodically to see if she changed her mind but I always get her answering machine. I have called her thousands of times, but I only left a message once.

I read an article in the paper once on how the teen birthrate was rising and that a teen that comes from a difficult past is X% more likely to get into drugs, alcohol or get pregnant.

Alice had fallen into that X%. As Phil had said, "She'll just be another statistic." And that's all she is now, just another number in a book, nothing more. I always thought she would do better than that, rise above the expectations; show the world that how to make the best out of a crappy situation.

I thought that she would do something amazing, like create her own fashion boutique or become a fashion designer. But from what little information I had collected, she didn't.

I found out that she married her baby's daddy, then divorced him and is now living alone. Supporting her and her daughter by working two minimum wage jobs, she could do so much better.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After college everyone went there separate ways. Edward and I moved to Portland, Oregon so that Edward could work at a bigger hospital, be close enough to our families but far enough away from Seattle.

Emmett and Rose moved up to Vancouver and now had a one year old little boy named Owen. Rose is the manager of a little fashion boutique and Emmett is coaching the local boy's football teem.

Then there was Jasper, he was never the same after Alice left. He tried to hide his pain when he was around us but we could see through him. He never looked at another girl after she left either. He was still living in Forks, working as a lawyer.

At our wedding Emmett finally brought up the question that we had being wondering for years.

"_You're next!" Rose smiled, playfully punching Jasper._

_Emmett rolled his eyes, "That may be awhile."_

"_And why would that be?" Rose snapped._

_Edward turned to face her, "Because he's not even dating anyone, you kind of need a girlfriend if you want to eventually get married."_

"_Dude are you gay?" Emmett asked punching Jasper._

_Jasper sat up straighter and gave him a confused look, "Hell no, why would you think that?"_

"_He speaks!" Rose laughed._

"_Jasper!" Emmett retorted, "You haven't dated anyone in like, what? Six, seven YEARS! We got to find you a girl."_

"_I found a girl" he said but his voice quickly got quieter, "She just ran away."_

"_Jasper you have to get over her!" Rose yelled from across the table._

"_I'm over her, really. I just don't want to date anyone right now" he mumbled._

_Emmett and Edward both looked at each other, "Denial!" they said in unison. _

"_I'm not in denial, I'm just…" Jasper started._

"_Hang on there" Emmett interrupted, "What ever happened to that Jamie from law school?"_

"_Yeah, she seemed nice" Rose added._

_Jasper looked down at the ground, "She wasn't Alice" he murmured quietly._

"_No one's going to be exactly like Alice, Jasper. You have to move past it" I informed him._

"_And you have? You still have trouble sleeping at night and I can tell that you hurt inside. Clearly you haven't gotten over her" Jasper said fiercely attacking a pile of mashed potatoes._

"_But that's different, she was more than a sister to me" I said fighting back tears, Edward put his arm around me and pulled me close._

_Jasper shook his head, "It's not different; she meant a lot to me too. Think about how you would feel if you lost Edward and much it would affect you. That's what I'm feeling. It's not something you can get over easily."_

"_But it's been over eight years!" Emmett boomed, "You can't let her affect your life this much. It's time to move on."_

_Jasper's eyes started to cloud with tears, he took a deep breath and sighed, "I haven't been able to look at another girl the same way I looked at Alice. I can't find it in me to love another as much as I love her."_

_I reached across the table and placed my hands on top of his, "We only want what's best for you. We've seen how sad you are and you deserve to be happy. Weather that's with a girl or not, but it's time to let the past be the past. We can't dwell on what could have been or what should have been, it's time to move on. It's time to start fresh, get out of Forks. Trust me it helps."_

_Jasper nodded slowly, "Thanks guys. I can tell you're concerned but honestly I'm fine with how I am. I'm convinced that I will see her again and until I hear from her that she doesn't care for me anymore, I'm waiting."_

And he continued to wait; he hasn't gone a date in years and remains in a saddened state.

That day I tried to keep myself from thinking of her, but after that conversation I was full of anger and regret for the friend that never answered my calls so I could inform her of the wedding that she had predicted years earlier.

When Edward and I were getting our second ultrasound and the doctor asked us if we wanted to know the sex of our baby. I already knew, it was a boy, Alice had told me.

For the most part I tried to move on with my life, but little things would remind me of her, a yellow car, a bubbly personality or even a designer store.

The day I gave birth to Noah reminded me of Alice's daughter. The daughter I never really got to met, or even know her name. In my head she was still Baby Girl Brandon.

Edward used to bring Alice up once and a while and ask if I wanted to find her, but I knew in the back of my mind that the real her was never lost. She was in my heart and if she wanted to come back she would find me.


	17. Back to Forks

**Ok so I said that Edward and Bella's son name was James, but at that moment I forgot about James in Twilight so his name is now Noah. I will try to change it in past chapters.**

**This chapter is kind of tying the past into the present…**

Edward and I were cuddled up next to each other watching a movie when the phone rang. Noah had just fallen asleep and it was the first time in weeks that we had some down time together.

I debated answering it but I didn't want it to wake Noah. So I reluctantly got up from my cozy spot next to Edward to get it.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Bella?" a sweet voice asked.

"Yeah"

"It's Esme" she said lovingly.

"Oh, hey Esme, what's up?" I asked. It was always nice to talk to Esme.

"Um…Bella, there's been an accident" she said cautiously, unsure of how much to tell me.

"Please tell me it's not Carlisle" I said quickly not letting her finish.

She took a deep breath, "No, no he's fine."

My heart sped up, "Renee and Phil" I choked.

"No, they're safe and sound, along with Cole" she assured me.

_Then who could it be?_ I thought. Then it hit me, "Did something happen to Rose and Emmett. Please tell me Owen is safe."

"Oh heavens no, as far as I know there at home in Vancouver" she said gratefully.

I continued to think but came up with nothing. "Esme I'm freaking out here can you just tell me? Please?" I begged.

She took in a deep breath and mumbled a soft, "Alice."

My heart dropped, why was she informing me of this now? Alice didn't want me anymore. She refused contact with me for over 10 years.

"Bella" she continued, "You need to come up here. She's at Forks Hospital, she needs you."

I stared at the wall, still dazed and confused. "Why Esme? Why should I go see someone who has ignored me for years, she has never once answered one of my calls. She wasn't there when I needed her, why should I be there for her when she needs me?" I cried.

"Bella, I would feel the same way if I was you" Esme began, "But just trust me, she needs you now. She has no one. Do you remember when I told that you had to remember that she cares for you because one day she may really need you and that you two were way to close to just forget each other?"

I thought back, "Yeah, it was the day that I found out she left, when we were in your room."

"That's right" she said happier, "That day has come Bella. She doesn't have anyone. Her mother's in jail, her sister moved to Australia or something like that and her ex husband is an abusive drunk. She needs you now more than ever."

"I don't know if I can Esme" I cried, "It's taken me this long to get over her and live a relatively normal life. I don't want to go back, not now, not with Noah. I don't know if I can take it. I can never let Noah or even Edward see me go through that again."

"I understand Bella and would probably say the same thing if I was you, but I just want you to know that you may be running out of time if you ever want to see her again" she explained to me.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Bella, she's not doing to well" she said with pain in her voice, "Please come, Bella, if not for Alice, please come for me. I need you too Bella."

I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind. Esme had been there for me through everything and helped me just like Edward did. We got through a lot together and when Noah came early and wasn't breathing at first, she was the one that assured me that he would be alright.

Yes, Edward had told me the same thing, but I couldn't believe him because I could see in his eyes that he was worried too.

I looked at the clock, it was only 5:30 and I was exhausted. I guess having a baby does screw up your sleeping pattern. I took a deep breath, "I'll be there by 9:00."

Esme sniffled, "Thanks Bella. Give Edward my love."

"I will" I mumbled, unsure of what I just agreed to as I hung up the phone.

Edward sneaked up behind me and pulled me close to him. "Who was that love?" he asked.

I stared at the wall unable to turn my head to look at him. "Um…it was Esme" I mumbled.

"Begging us to bring Noah up to Forks again?" he chuckled.

I shook my head slowly. "Not exactly" I said still staring at the pale yellow wall of our kitchen.

"Bella" he said worried, cupping my face and turning it to look at him, "What is it? You're not a good liar, just tell me."

"I have to go" I said quickly, "I have to go to Forks."

He dropped his hands and grabbed my arms gently, "What happened love? What did Esme tell you?"

I looked to the floor, "Don't worry Edward, it just that um…there's been an accident…um it was… it's _Alice_." I said softly, I hadn't said her name in years, neither did Edward. We just got used to calling Alice, _her._ But we both knew who we were talking about. It hurt too much to say her name aloud.

Edward gave me a confused look. "What?" he blurted out looking around the room, "Why is she in Forks?"  
I shrugged, "I don't know why she's there, but I need to go Forks, now."

"Are you sure Bella?" Edward questioned.

I nodded, "It's time."

He smiled my favorite. "Let's get packed" he said as he pulled me toward our bedroom, I didn't follow, "What's wrong Bella?" he asked when I wouldn't move.

I let out a heavy sigh, "I need to do this…alone, at least for now" I said carefully trying not to hurt him. "I was a mess before Edward and I don't want you to ever have to see me like that again. Esme and Renee will be there if I need someone."

"I didn't mind seeing you like that and I would do it all over again. I would rather be there to comfort you" he assured me.

"But I don't Edward. It hurts you too and I hate hurting you. I have to do this on my own."

"Bella, why don't you think about this over night. I want you to go, but let's just let it all sink in and then go" he begged, "And if you still want to do this alone in the morning then by all means go, I'll only be a phone call away."

I continued to shake my head, "I need to go now Edward."  
"Why do you have to be so stubborn? You've waited for what, a decade? Can't you wait a couple more hours?" he begged.

I closed my eyes, fighting back tears. "That's the thing" I cried, "I've waited for so long. I can't wait any longer, it might be too late."

Edward took a deep breath, "You're stronger than you think Isabella Cullen, that's one of the many reasons I married you." He closed his eyes and pulled me closer to his chest, "Go to Forks. You can always call me."  
"Thanks" I whispered as a smile spread across my face. "Anyways someone has to stay home to take care of that wonderful son of ours." Edward's soft kind face turned into one of fear and panic. "Don't worry" I laughed, "You'll do fine. If you can operate on a people flawlessly then you can take care of a baby."

He smiled, "Don't worry about us, we'll be fine. Let's get you on the road."

I nodded and followed him to the hallway. I packed a bag with an extra pair of clothes and a toothbrush, not much but enough for me to get by.

I made a couple bottles and put them in the fridge so Edward didn't have to later. I snuck into Noah's room and paused over his crib for awhile to watch him sleep. He was perfect in everyway; every part of him resembled Edward. Something I had hoped for.

I cradled him in my arms and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "I love you buddy" I whispered as I set him back into his crib.

Edward was waiting for me outside of Noah's room. "Ready?" he asked handing me my bag. I looked at him and nodded very slowly.

He smiled and pulled me into another hug, "This is something that you need to do. Don't worry about us. We'll have some father-son bonding time. I'm only a phone call away."

I laughed thinking of father-son bonding time with a two-week old. I stood on my tippy toes and kissed his lips softly. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I tangled mine in his hair. After awhile, we slowly pulled apart from each other.

"Let's get you on the road" Edward grinned. I nodded, grabbed his hand and walked out into the garage.

I loaded my stuff into the back of my red Ferrari, something that Edward bought me for a wedding gift and something that I refused for the longest time. I told Edward it was way too expensive, but he just smiled and said, 'Never my love'.

When we found out that I was pregnant I asked Edward to trade it in for a 'family' car but he informed me that his Volvo was would work for that. So I 'got' to keep my Ferrari and secretly I loved it and I never wanted to give it up. It made me feel good as I watched people envy me as I drove by. But I could never let Edward know that, I had made way to big a deal about it before.

I opened the front door to my car and just as I was about to get in Edward called from the doorway, "Didn't I promise you that we would find a way to see Alice again, no madder how long it took?"

I smiled as tears of joy ran down my face. I nodded and ran into his arms. "I love you" I cried.

He chuckled, "I love you too." My smile grew at those words. Even after all this time it still made my heart melt. When Alice left I didn't think that anyone would ever love me because I was such a mess. But Edward saw me at my worst and still chose to be with me. I never fully understood his reasoning on that but I'm thankful that he picked me.

"Go see Alice" he said letting me go, "Do what you need to do. I'll be waiting."

"Thanks Edward" I smiled, "I love you. I'll call you when I get there." He nodded; I gave him a quick kiss and ran into my car.

I continued to look back at him until he was out of sight and he was watching me too. It made me feel protected, but Edward was always my protector.

I was on my way, back to the place that I had met and lost my best friend. But maybe, hopefully I was getting her back.

But what was I honestly doing. Yes Alice may need me at the moment, but what about all the times that I needed her. She was never there for me.

What was I doing? What am I going to say to her? How much will power will it take for me to not scream at her? Will I finally get some answers? How long would this take? Would I be back home with my family soon? And what had Esme meant when she said that I may be running out of time? What was exactly wrong with Alice?

These were just some of the many questions that haunted me on my four and a half hour drive to Forks.

I arrived around 10:15, a little later than I had told Esme and way past visiting hours at the hospital. But I decided to try my luck and see if I could get in and see her tonight still.

I walked slowly through the misty rain and down the dark disinfectant smelling hallways.

I went straight to the main nurse's station on the first floor. I had no clue what was wrong with Alice, so I didn't even know where to begin looking.

I fiddled with my hair as I approached the lady behind the desk. I didn't know if I really wanted to do this, if I really wanted to see her right now. But before I could talk myself out of it I involuntarily asked for her room. I don't even know how it happened but somehow I just asked, "Where's Alice Brandon's room?"

The lady behind the desk looked up at me with sad eyes; she looked like a sweet old grandmother. She gave me a weak smile, "I'm sorry sweetie visiting hours are over, but if you give me your name I'll be sure to tell Alice that you stopped by."

I looked down at the ground, mad that I couldn't see her. I had just driven four and a half hours to see Alice and I wasn't even aloud to see her. Just like the other time in the hospital when she had her daughter.

Maybe I wasn't meant to see Alice again, maybe this was a sign.

The grandmother like lady smiled and put her hand on top of mine, "Name please?"

I shook my head as if to shake away all my worries and thoughts. "Bella Cullen" I murmured under my breath.

Her smile quickly changed into something of embarrassment, but I didn't know why. She typed something on her computer and looked up at me, "Alice is in the ICU right now. That's just down this hallway" she said pointing to the hallway towards my left. "Its room 124, I'll show you."

I gave her a confused look, unsure of why she was suddenly showing me where Alice's room was, visiting hours were over, she had told me so. _Oh well_, I thought. I wasn't going to question it; I was getting to see Alice.

I followed the old lady down the hallway. I took in my surroundings as I passed each room. I saw many people hooked up to monitors and IVs, all so sick.

We continued down the hallway and I noticed a picture on the wall, it was Carlisle. Why was Carlisle's picture on the wall, I read the caption above. It read 'Dr. Cullen – Chief of Medicine'.

I smiled and shook my head; it was only after the lady knew my name that she offered me the room number. It was because of Carlisle, I guess it does help to know people, or in this case be related to them.

The hallway was ending; I looked to the numbers on the doors. We were just passing room 122, we were almost there. My pace slowed as memories of the hospital in Seattle filled my mind.

I didn't let my brain make any decisions, I followed my heart and it lead me straight into Alice's room.

I froze as soon as I saw her. She had tubes down her throat, with multiple monitors and IVs hooked up to her. Along with what looked like a feeding tube and a ventilator.

This couldn't be her, the Alice I knew was full of life and this one looked like a corpse.

The nurse must have sensed my shook. "Bella, why don't you sit down" she said gesturing to a chair next to the bed.

I closed my eyes and fell back into the chair. I tried to remember her smile or her laugh, just something about her that was more alive than this. My breathing became uneven as I searched through my memories and couldn't find any happy ones. I feared that my last memory of Alice would be the one of this cold lifeless figure.

The old loving nurse put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Take a deep breath, you need to calm down."

I rested my head on the back of the chair and tried to take slow and even breaths. As my breathing became more regular I managed to mumbled, "What happened to her?"

"She was driving down the highway as suffered a major stroke. She was going pretty fast and lost control of the car when she had the stroke. She ended up crossing oncoming traffic and then into the ditch" she said calmly, probably from years of experience in telling people what happened to there loved ones.

"A stroke?" I asked, "Don't people usually get those when they're older?"  
She nodded, "Usually but Alice has a small hole in her heart, which can lead to strokes."

"A hole in her heart? What…How does that happen?" I stuttered shaking my head.

The nurse knelt down by me, "She was most likely born with it. They do tests on babies now to check for it and it can be fixed. But her heart is pumping extra blood to different areas of her body and occasionally with this condition it can pump a blood clot through veins or arties leading up to the brain and cause a blockage resulting in a stroke" she explained. "Usually if it doesn't show up when the patient is younger they may never have problems or it won't show up until a lot later in life. But if the person is under a lot of stress it can cause the heart to beat faster, causing a greater chance for a blockage to move throughout their bodies."

"What does this mean?" I asked worried, "Will she be alright?"

She gave me a fake smile, "We're hoping for the best. We have to repair the hole in her heart but we have to wait until her other injuries and swelling goes down. You see when she crashed her car she broke her leg and suffered other minor injures. But we don't know the extent of damage that the stroke caused. But there is a chance for pretty severe brain damage." she said slowly. "She's lucky to be alive right now. We have to see how the next couple of days go. Dr. Cullen is flying in the best surgeons and doctors in the country."

I nodded as she explained the extent of all Alice's injuries. I couldn't help but think that I was too late, that I would never see Alice alive and well again. That I had waited to long.

"Dr. and Mrs. Cullen left about a half hour ago" she added, "They told me to tell you that they will be at the house and you can spend the night. They said you know where the key is."

I slowly looked up at her, "Would it be ok if I just stayed here for awhile?" I asked with pleading eyes.

She smiled softly and nodded, "You're welcome to stay here if you want, but you do look tired. You should get some sleep."

"I will, thanks" I mumbled not willing to get up from the chair.

"I'll be down the hall if you have anymore questions" she said as she left the room.

I nodded but didn't look to see her leave. I stared at her, at Alice. I had been strong thus far but I couldn't hold it in any longer. I cried, I cried harder than I had ever in my life.

It's funny how you think you know so much about someone, you think about them all the time and you can't wait to see them but then when that one day comes and you finally see them again and you figure out that you know nothing about them anymore.

She still had her short spiky black hair, but she looked smaller. Not in the height sense but she looked skinnier. Alice had always been skinny but she now looked sickly skinny. Her skin was almost clear and unhealthy looking. I didn't know if it was because of the accident or if there were other reasons.

I began comparing her to all the different patients I had seen as I walked down the hallway. She by far looked the worst.

I watched her for awhile unable to move, my mind wandered with thousands of unanswered questions and concerns.

After awhile my eyes became heavy and my head began to bob up and down. The next thing I remember is my phone ringing and talking to a nervous Edward.

I spent most of the night thinking about the past and what had happened. I didn't know for sure but I figured that Alice grew up and I didn't and in doing so we grew apart. But in the back on my head I still thought that her trip to Seattle had done something to change her.

Carlisle arrived around seven to check in on things. "Bella?" he said in more of a question as he set Alice's charts down.

"Carlisle" I cried running to him. He gave me a big hug.

"What time did you get here?" he asked as he let me go.

I smiled, "Around 10 last night."

Carlisle's eyes just about budged out of his head. "Why didn't you come to the house? You didn't have to stay here. You know you're always welcome Bella. Are house is so empty now with the boys gone and…."  
I grinned and put my hand over his mouth, "I know. I just couldn't get myself to leave last night. It all seems sort of surreal. I've waited for this day for a long time and I felt that if I left she would just vanish again."

Carlisle smiled and shook his head, "Don't worry Bella, she won't be going anywhere as long as I can help it. I'm getting her the best heart surgeon I know."

My smile grew, "Thanks Carlisle." I turned to watch this stranger fight for her life.

"Did Edward come with you?" he asked after awhile, "I need to speak with him".

"No, he stayed home with Noah" I said causally.

Carlisle nodded. "How's my little grandson? He gave us quite a scare." he said sweetly.

I couldn't help but smile. Carlisle was so loving. I could tell that he already loved Noah a lot. "Yes he did. But I guess he's like Edward in that way, he likes to surprise me. He's a fighter though."

Carlisle laughed, "Yes he is, his breathing is okay now, right?" I nodded. "Good, good" he continued, "You know the complications with preemies; you'll have to watch him carefully and try to keep him from getting infections."

I smiled and continued to nod; he was being such a doctor at the moment. "I know Carlisle, we've already been informed and Edward knows all about this stuff."

"I suppose he would" Carlisle said checking on the different monitors. "Sorry, the doctor thing is hard to ditch. I can't help it."

"Edward's the same way" I laughed, "Don't worry I'm used to it."

Carlisle chuckled and continued to study different charts and monitors. He would occasionally scratch something done on his papers or mumble something to himself.

I remained quiet and let him do his work. After what seemed like hours he set down his charts and looked up at me. "What's new Doc?" I asked jokingly.

Carlisle grinned, "She's better than she was yesterday, which is a good thing. But it doesn't mean that we're in the clear yet. She still has surgery to go through and then a long recovery ahead of her."

"Will she wake up soon?" I asked, hoping that it would be soon.

Carlisle grimaced, "We had to put her into an induced coma so that the strain on her heart would be reduced. We can't risk her having another stroke."

"Oh" was all I could say.

"Bella, why don't you go back to the house? Esme made pancakes this morning and there's plenty left. You look exhausted and I'm sure Esme would enjoy the company" Carlisle advised.

I shrugged, not really wanting to leave.

"I'll call you if anything happens" Carlisle continued, "You can always come back, just get out of here for a couple hours."

I looked from Carlisle to Alice and back again, not knowing how to speak my mind. But Carlisle must have sensed my worry. "She not going anywhere Bella" he smiled, "I'll make sure of it."

I gave him the best fake I could, still unable to speak. I still couldn't believe that this was Alice, my best friend. The person who I had spent everyday with and knew everything about, the first person who had been a true friend to me. But also the person who tore my heart in two and left me. Friend's aren't supposed to do that. She was now an acquaintance I guess, I knew nothing about her life anymore. I only knew her past.

"Give me a little more time" I begged, "I'll go back to the house later on, I promise. I just can't get myself to leave right now."

Carlisle nodded, "Alright, take your time."

I smiled and thanked him with tears in my eyes. He came closer to put his arm around me with a confused face, "What's wrong Bella? There's no need to cry."

I cried a lot lately, probably from the pregnancy hormones that still hadn't left me. Anytime I felt sad or confused the waterworks started. I tried to wipe the tears from my eyes but it was no use. I looked into Carlisle's perfect blue eyes. "There's just so much I want to ask her" I bawled, "But I feel like its to late, I've lost her."

Carlisle quickly shook his head, "You haven't lost her, I will do everything that I can to make sure of that. She's part of our family Bella, I will do anything for her."

"But what if the stoke cause amnesia and she doesn't know who we are or worse what if she's brain dead?" I cried harder thinking of all the possible outcomes that this stupid stroke had caused.

"There are no what if's Bella, all we can do is hope for the best. I can't fix what has happened but I can make sure that nothing else does" he assured me, "I will make sure that you will see Alice alive and well again. You will talk to Alice again. I promise."

I closed my eyes trying to stop the tears, "But maybe I'm not meant to see her like that again. Maybe she doesn't want to see me again. Maybe I should be here" I admitted through my tears.

He grabbed my head and forced me to look at him, "Listen to me Bella" he said sternly, "You are meant to see her again. Do you know where she was when she crashed?" I shook my head no, "She was right between here and Port Angeles. Actually she was closer to Port Angeles than she was to Forks, but they brought her to us. I don't know why but they did. It's not that Forks has a bigger or better hospital and the EMTs didn't know who she was or that she is practically my daughter. Alice just ended up in my care. If anything Bella, fate is bringing her back to us."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"I've never been so sure in my life. I need to make my rounds" he said quickly, "I'll meet you back at the house later?"

I nodded and gave him a quick hug before he ran out the door.

"And Bella" he added sticking his head back in.

"Hmm?"

"They say that she can hear you even though she's in a coma." And with that he was gone.

I looked back to Alice and thought about what Carlisle had said.

After awhile I took a deep breath and placed my hand on top of hers, "Alice" I began, "It's Bella…how...why…what…?" I stuttered and took another deep breath. "Alice you need to get better. You've put me through so much, the least you could do is survive. God, because of you I lost any friends I had and couldn't find it in me to make new ones. You made my life a living hell and when it finally starts to turn around I somehow find myself at the foot of your bed doing what you would never have done for me. I'm going to wait Alice, I want answers and I will wait for as long as I have to."

_I'm going to wait, I'm going to wait._

**As I said this chapter is trying to tie the past to the present…Review please!**


	18. It's not all about me

"Alice you need to get better" I cried, "You've put me through so much; the least you could do is survive. God, because of you I lost any friends I had and couldn't find it in me to make new ones. You made my life a living hell and when it finally starts to turn around I somehow find myself at the foot of your bed doing what you would never have done for me. I'm going to wait Alice, I want answers and I will wait for as long as I have to."

_I'm going to wait, I'm going to wait._

I clenched my fists into tight balls trying not to scream. "You have no idea what you put me through Alice. Did our friendship mean nothing to you? I can't even count how many times I helped you! Did I do something? Was I not there for you and that's why you ran off. Fuck, you should have known better than to lean on me for everything, I was so young!" I cried and couldn't stop.

I looked up at her and shook my head. I must look like a fool sobbing and asking questions to a person in a coma.

I took a deep breath, "God Alice! I just want to know why?" I screamed, "WHY? Why'd you leave? And why wouldn't you talk to me? I just need to know."

Sobs took over me and I couldn't find it in me to form words. I let my head fall to the foot of her bed and cried until I had no more tears.

I let all my emotions show. I had held them in for so many years and I couldn't contain them any longer. I no longer cared if Alice wanted to see me or if she wanted to talk to me. She was going to tell me what happened; it would give me a piece of mind and hopefully the closure that I have been looking for.

The door swung open; I slowly remove my head from her bed, expecting it just to be another nurse checking some monitors or changing an IV bag. But instead I heard a loud gasp and a "MOMMY!"

My head popped up, a little girl with long wavy black hair was clawing at the sheets of Alice's bed, trying to get up. She kept crying, "Mommy, no mommy, I love you. Daddy's gone; you're supposed to be better again. I'll never be bad again, just wake up. Please mommy."

I wanted to cry as I watched this child, cling to her mother. She looked like she was about seven or eight years old. It took me awhile to realize who this was. I started counting back in my head. It had been about eight years since I last tried to see Alice at the hospital.

Could this be her? The baby I had seen in the hospital nursery, the baby I wanted to get to know, but was never able to?

Before I had a chance to ask her, her name a tall lady in a blue suit came in, "Are you Isabella Swan?" she asked sweetly.

It took me a moment to recognize that she was talking to me; I was rarely addressed as Isabella and I've been an official Cullen for a little less than three years. It just seemed weird, I was Bella Cullen now and proud to be. I looked up to the lady, nodding. "But its Cullen now" I corrected.

She nodded and made a couple notes on a piece of paper, "Will you come with me?" she asked pointing towards the door.

I patted Alice's hand and watched her daughter coil up next to her, telling her that everything would get better. I felt for this girl, she shouldn't be the one comforting her mom; it should be the other way around. I guess some things never change.

I followed the lady out into the hallway, unsure of what this was all about. "How is she?" she whispered closing the door so that the girl couldn't hear us.

I shrugged, "The doctors said that she's making progress but so many things could go wrong over the next couple days."

She nodded sympathetically, "I'm Katherine Johnson for social services." Panic took over me, was she going to take Noah? We didn't do anything wrong, did we? I mean Edward and I were doing the best we could, being new parents and all. She sensed my worry and her voice became softer. "You must be very close to Mary Alice."

"Used to" I corrected her.

She seemed set back, "What happened?"

I smiled and shook my head, "I'm still trying to find that out"

She looked me straight in the eye and said, "Well I'm going to get straight to the point. At the moment Alice is incapable of taking care of her daughter, she has no family available to take her and the father has lost custody. In these cases we look to the parents will to see who their child would be left with if they would die."

_It made sense_, I thought.

The social worker came closer and put a hand on my shoulder, "In the case of Mary Alice Brandon. It's you. Well that is if you are Isabella Swan."

I took a step back to hit the wall and slid down to the ground. So many emotions hit me, how could I be the one that she trusted to take her child, when I had never even met her and she refused to talk to me. She had deliberately ignored me, I tried to contact her, but she never answered. And then she expects me to take her child?

Katherine knelt down beside me, "I need to make a few phone calls, to make sure that you are the Isabella Swan that Alice wanted." She patted my knee and gave me a sincere smile, "I know this is a lot to take in at the moment. Take some time to let it sink it, call your husband, do what you need. I'll be back in about an hour."

I nodded as she gave me a departing smile and went to the nurse's station to make her phone calls.

I was confused and couldn't keep my emotions straight. Was I really supposed to take this girl home with me? Make her part of my family? Just push her into a family that is just forming? It isn't that we can't afford to make her apart of our family. Edward's a surgeon; money would never be an issue. It was if I could handle the emotional baggage that would come with this child. Could I handle taking care of a little Alice? I don't know if I could. What would Edward think? _Edward!_ I thought.

He was always my support, my crutch. And right now, that's what I need. I pulled my cell out and dialed Edward's number.

"Hello love" he bubbled, truly in a better mood than the last time I talked to him.

"Edward" I cried, "her, her daught…." It was all I could say, I broke down into full hysteria.

"What's wrong?" He asked worried, "Is everything alright?" I continued to sob, unable to say a word. "Hold on love, I'll be there in ten minutes." The line went dead.

I continued to cry on the floor. As I started to come around; I realized that I needed to be strong, for myself, for Alice and for her daughter.

I thought of what Edward had said, _"I'll be there in ten minutes."_ I immediately became worried; it was a four and a half drive from our home in Portland to Forks. How was he going to make that drive in ten minutes?

No sooner did I become worried, did Edward show up. He came out of the elevator, baby carrier in hand. When he saw me he went into a full sprint.

"Is she okay?" he asked worried.

I shrugged and pointed at the door. He opened it and looked around. Alice's daughter was curled up next to her, one of the saddest sights I have ever seen.

"Is that…" he asked looking at the girl.

I nodded before he finished, "Edward, I'm her…We're her…until Alice is better…Alice left her…with me." I mumbled around, not sure how to word it. "Alice gave me custody of her if anything was ever to happen to her."

Edward gave me a small version of my favorite smile, "What's her name?"

I looked up at him and ran into his arms and cried harder than before, "That's the problem." I sniffled, "I know absolutely nothing about this child. Not even her name, how can we take care of her?"  
Edward let out a little musical chuckle, "There's an easy way to fix this" he said grabbing my hand, pulling me back into Alice's room.

The girl stirred as the door slammed shut. She sat up quickly and rubbed her eyes, "Who are you?" she asked in a sweet little voice.

Edward walked forward, "I'm Edward Cullen and this is Bella. We're old friends of your mom" he said with kindness in his voice.

She gave Edward a surprised look when she heard our names. It was the same look that her father had given us eight years earlier.

"Have you ever heard of us before?" Edward continued.

She shrugged and began playing with her hair, "Well, daddy never liked mommy to talk about her friends. He said they were all hillbillies and not worth the time. But your names are my middle name."

"Oh really?" I asked confused, I thought Alice had forgotten about us. "And what would your name be?"  
"I'm Paige Isabella Cullen Brandon. Why would I be named after you guys?" she said timidly.

I smiled happily, "I don't know honey, we'll have to ask you're mom that when she gets better."

Maybe Alice didn't forget about us, maybe she couldn't contact us. I began to cry, but this was for a totally different reason. It wasn't the tears of a sad or confused woman, still regretting things from her past. It was tears of a woman, happy to finally have some answers.

"When's mommy going to be better?" Paige cried. I wandered over to her and sat at the foot of the bed. Poor child, having to watch her own mother struggle to survive in a hospital bed, it wasn't fair. "We were supposed to go shopping tomorrow for Kayla's birthday party" she continued.

"It's going to take awhile Paige, she won't be able to take you tomorrow. You just be patient and hopeful." I smiled, "Never give up on hope." It was the same thing I had told Alice all those years ago, but it was true. You must never give up hope because when your hope is gone that's when the problems start.

Just then Noah started to cry; Edward went over and got him out of his car seat, "Baby!" Paige squealed in the same high pitched voice Alice used when she got excited, "Can I hold him?" She begged, "Please?"

I looked to Edward who gave me a shrug, not exactly what I was looking for. "I don't know Paige" I began but she has apparently inherited Alice's signature puppy pout and she's just as good. "Fine, why don't you go sit in that chair" I sighed pointing at the chair next to Alice's bed.

She kissed Alice's forehead and carefully jumped down from the bed. When she was seated Edward placed Noah in her arms. She smiled like a mad woman. Noah seemed to lighten her mood.

"Would you like to feed him?" Edward asked gently. Her face exploded with the size of her smile as she nodded excitedly. Edward handed her a bottle and showed her what to do. She was a natural.

She looked up at us, "What's his name?" she asked.

I grinned and answered, "Noah" as I placed a blanket overtop of my son.

She nodded and looked back down at him and whispered, "Hi Noah" and kissed his forehead.

I laughed and turned to look at Edward. He smiled my favorite crooked grin, picked me up and kissed me on the lips. "I missed you love" he mumbled between kisses.

"Me too" I smiled as he held me in his arms. "How did you get here in ten minutes?" I asked quickly remembering our conversation.

He laughed, "I knew that question was coming." I gave him an angry glare but he just smiled my favorite smile and continued, "This morning at about five I decided I couldn't stand being away from you anymore. But I wanted to give you your space so I went to visit Carlisle and Esme. You know how many times Esme has called, begging us to bring Noah up so she could see him again. So I thought now would be the perfect time."

I sighed; he never gave up on the protecting thing. I watched Paige carefully; she was talking to Noah very quietly. I pointed it out to Edward and we listened intently.

"Mommies and daddies fight sometimes. But you have to be brave 'cause it's none of your business. You're lucky; my daddy isn't nice to my mommy but you're mommy and daddy loves each other, I can tell and they love you."

My eyes clouded up, all this from an eight year old. She seemed so wise. "She's been through so much" I mumbled into Edward's chest.

"Exactly why she needs us" he smiled, "She needs someone to show her that things in life can be happy and work out; just like you did for Alice."

"And that worked out great" I said rolling my eyes.

He was placed his hand on my cheek and shook his head. "None of that" he started, "Alice left on her own accord, but it was her bad decisions, not yours. Think about the first time you met her. Think about the first time you guys walked into my house. And everything in-between, she would never have had those opportunities if it wasn't for you."

I smiled slightly and took in Edwards intoxicating sent, "I guess." A small knock on the door made me jump.

"I didn't mean to scare you" Katherine said, seeing me jump. "Will you and your husband come with me; I need you guys to sign a few papers." I looked to my son in Paige's arms and back to her. "We'll only be in the hallway, if they need you" she smiled.

I nodded and Edward gave me a push towards the door. Katherine gave us a weak smile, "I know this must be hard for you" I nodded and Katherine continued, "I can see that you have your hands full with a new baby, but Paige has no one else. Until Alice is well enough to take care of herself and her daughter, you two are Paige's legal guardians."

"No offense, but wouldn't it be better to put her with someone she has at least met before" I asked carefully.

Katherine gave me a shocked look, "You mean you've never met Paige before?'

I shook my head, "No, I mean I saw her once as a baby but it was through a window in the nursery."

"Did you know about this? Did Alice ever ask you to take Paige if something were to happen to her?"

"No" I replied, "Alice and I used to be friends, but that was a long time ago. We haven't spoken to each other in a very long time."

"How long is a long time?" she asked surprised.

I leaned back against Edward and counted back the years. I looked into Edwards emerald green eyes, "Almost ten?" I said as more of a question.

He nodded, "It's been about that."

She looked at us dazed and confused, "This is an unusual case" Katherine whispered, "But it is my job to respect the wishes of the parents and unless you refuse to take responsibility of Paige, I have to place her with you. Otherwise she will go into foster care."

"There will be no need for that" Edward responded quickly. He looked down at me and I nodded. "We'll take her for as long as needed" he continued.

Katherine smiled, "Why such a quick response?"

"I have some personal experience in that area. If it wasn't for my aunt and uncle my brother and I would have been split up and put into foster care. I would never have wanted that, I want to follow my aunt and uncle's example and do what is best for her" Edward said full of emotions.

Katherine nodded, "Alright then, as soon as you sign these papers Paige will be in your care. You will have a mandatory meeting every two weeks to make sure Paige is adjusting properly and because of Paige's past we are recommending that she sees a therapist once a week so that she can get everything off her mind."

Edward and I nodded. "Just wondering, since we will be taking care of her" Edward asked, "What's Paige's past?"

Katherine flipped through many papers until she came to the right one, "Let's see" she began, "Um, her father is big into drug and alcohol and used to beat Alice and occasionally Paige. Alice ended up in the hospital a couple times because of it. We're afraid that because Alice is in the hospital again Paige will think that it was her father again and become frightened."

"Oh" was all I could say. I was slowly learning things about Alice's recent past and I didn't like any of it. I couldn't help but think that if she had never left, none of this would have been a problem or if she would have come to me I could have helped her.

Edward grabbed the pen from Katherine's hand and spoke as he reached down to sign his name, "Meetings every two weeks and have Paige see a therapist once a week, got it."

I smiled and took the pen from his hand and signed my name next to his.

Katherine smiled too, "For just finding out about all this, you two seem very relaxed and ready to take on this challenge."

I let out a small laugh and Edward nodded as he rubbed my shoulders.

"Alright" Katherine continued, "Do you live here in Forks?"

"No" I said quickly, I still couldn't see me living here again, too much pain. She seemed taken back from my quick response.

Edward wrapped his arms around me for support, "We are currently living in Portland so I can do my residency at Legacy Emmanuel Hospital. I'm currently an open heart surgeon, mostly bypasses. But I really want to do heart transplants; I feel it would be more rewarding."

"So will you be bringing Paige back to Portland with you? We encourage that she comes and sees Alice often so she knows that her mom didn't just abandon her" Katherine advised.

I looked up at Edward; this all came on so fast we didn't even get to talk about the specifics. I didn't know where we would stay or what we would do. "We haven't thought that far yet" I answered truthfully.

"Why don't you talk about it tonight and get back to me tomorrow. Then we'll set up a time for our meetings and I'll have a referral for a therapist" Katherine said, "Assuming that you will still be here tomorrow."

"We'll be here for the rest of the weekend" Edward explained, "We'll meet you here at the hospital at noon tomorrow?"  
Katherine nodded, "Sounds good. I didn't have time to tell Paige yet? Do you want to talk to her or should I?"

Edward rubbed my shoulders as he thought, "Maybe we should tell her, but you should stay, since she doesn't really know us. Most kids won't go home with a stranger" he added.

"Of course; good idea, I wait in the doorway" Katherine replied.

Edward let go of my shoulders and grabbed my hand, "You ready?"

I didn't know what to say, I couldn't remember how to move. I didn't know how we were going to do this. How are you supposed to tell a child that their mom wasn't going to wake up and that she had to go stay with two complete strangers?

Edward must have sensed my fear, "She's going to have find out anyway, we might as well be us and get it over with" he whispered in my ear, "It'll be alright."

I nodded and followed Edward back into the room. Noah was fussing and squirming around in Paige's lap.

"I don't know how to make him stop" Paige said with panic in her voice, "I didn't do anything to him, he just started crying."

I smiled and picked Noah up and began patting his back. Paige began to cry, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make him cry. Why do I always mess everything up?"

I turned and gave her a surprised look, "You did nothing wrong, he just has to burp." I continued patting Noah's back until he let out a little burp and he calmed down. "See he's all better. You didn't mess anything up, don't worry about it."

She wiped the tears from her eyes and nodded timidly.

Edward crouched down beside her, "Did someone tell you that you always mess things up?" Paige nodded again. "Who?" Edward continued.

Paige looked around the room like she was checking to make sure no one else would hear. "Daddy" she whispered so quiet that I almost didn't hear it. Then her crying picked up and she ran into Edward's arms. "Don't make me go back to him, please. I don't want to go. Don't make me."

Edward wrapped his arms around and gently stroked her hair, "You won't have to Paige. I won't make you go back."

"But where will I go, every time mommy gets hurt I have to go stay with him again" she sobbed.

I knelt down next to Edward and put my hand on her cheek, "Why don't you come stay with us, until your mom gets better."

She looked up at me and then Edward with shocked eyes. "Really?" she mumbled.

Edward and I both nodded but she wasn't convinced yet. She made eye contact with Katherine who was leaning against the door.

Katherine nodded and walked over to us, "Really Paige. Until your mom is better Bella and Edward are going to take care of you. Does that sound good?" Paige nodded excitedly. "Then it's decided" Katherine said winking at me, "You'll stay with Edward and Bella, but you have to be a good girl. Understood?"

"I will" Paige promised.

"Ok" Katherine smiled, "I'll see you tomorrow. Take care."

"Bye" Edward and I said in unison, waving as she walked out of the room and down the hallway.

"That was easier than I thought" I mumbled under my breath. I heard Edward laugh.

I turned and stared at Edward who still had Paige in his arms and smiled. She had her head nestled on his shoulder and her eyes were drooping with sleep.

"What do we do now?" I asked Edward.

He shrugged and gently got up trying not to move Paige, "Why don't we go back to Esme and Carlisle's. We can talk about all this there, by the looks of it we have two sleepy children" he laughed.

I nodded and placed Noah back in his car seat and headed out the door.

Edward carried Paige over his right shoulder, I carried Noah's car seat with my left and Edward and I were connected in the middle by holding hands.

This was something that I never expected, but most of things in my life I didn't expect. I never expected to marry someone like Edward and furthermore, I never saw myself with children. But here I am and I have both. I never thought that someone could change your life drastically but Alice did and Edward came and helped pick up the pieces to make it better again. But most of all I never thought that I would see Alice again or meet her daughter, but here I am watching Alice fight for her life and taking care of her daughter.

But this was for the best. It will not only help Alice but it will help me. It will help me fill the hole in my chest that has been aching for ten years now. It will help fill the gaps in my memory and hopefully get a better understanding of what happened.

Now Edward and I had many decisions ahead of us. Decisions what would not only affect us but our son, our families, Paige and Alice.

When you become a parent your life changes in an instant, you have another life depending on you and everything you do affects them in some way. But when you're taking care of another person's child you have to make the decisions that would be best for not only you but that child and their parent. You can't mess up because it's not your life to change.

I don't know what we're doing or what we're going to do. All I know is that it's not all about me this time around. I have to stay strong because I have other lives depending on me.


	19. Author's Note

**Sorry this isn't a chapter but I feel like I owe you an explanation. This is NOT an excuse because I have writers block or anything, this is 100% true….**

__**I have based this story from something that really happened to me. I had a friend like Alice that left without a word and I still haven't heard from her. She found out that she just had a son a couple months ago and I wasn't aloud to see him. For this reason I have been reliving all the pain.**

**Writing this has also helped me relive the good memories and given me more of an understanding of what went on, not that I have all the answers by any means. **

**I'm sorry it's taken so long but I'm halfway down with the next chapter and I WILL CONTINUE. It just make take me a little longer and with school ending in three weeks with finals are coming and I'm in softball which takes up a lot of time. **

**You see when I finally have time to write it takes me awhile to get into because the pain comes back first but I want to get through it because I want to write out the reunion that I'm hoping for.**

**Like I said this is not supposed to be an excuse but an explanation for why there hasn't been a chapter in a while. I'm working on it and as soon as things start to wind down I promise I'll get the next one out.**

**Please understand…Thanks – Athmann18**


	20. Pictures

**Hey, I'm back. I'm now done with school, softball and I just got back from a vacation so I now have time to write and I'm feeling better. I don't know if anyone will still read this since it's taken me sooo long to continue, but thanks to any of you who have patiently waited. I am not proud of this chapter but I thought I owed you something so here you go…**

I guess you can say that this was what I have been hoping for, but it also bringing back the pain that I have learned to contain. You see, even though I started to move on with my life I never really got over Alice leaving, I just learned to deal with the pain.

With all that has happened in the past 24 hours, I'm just living from moment to moment because everything is changing. But there are three things I know for sure. First, Alice is back, for how long, I don't know but she's back. Second, even though Alice is back, I may never see her alive and well again. And third, her daughter is sleeping upstairs in the old guest room and I now am responsible for her.

I looked around the large living room to see Edward and Carlisle deep in conversation and Esme slowly rocking Noah back and forth. I fought against my eyelids which refused to stay open. I had been up for over 36 hours and I was exhausted. Not to mention today was a long day with trying to getting to Paige settled in and comfortable.

As my eyelids won and sleep began to take over I heard my name, which made me sit up again and look around to see who it was.

"I need to include Bella on this decision" Edward said to Carlisle as he buried his face in his hands covering up his frustrated gaze.

"Include me in what?" I budded in.

Edward got up, moved over to me and put his arm around my shoulder, "What we will do now" I gave him a confused look, he continued, "What we will do with Paige?"

I smiled, that was easy, "Take care of her until Alice is better."

Edward nodded, "But what if Alice doesn't get better?"

I gulped, I hadn't thought about that. But it was kind of too late to turn back she was with us and we can't just turn her out. I looked into his beautiful green eyes, "We can't just turn her away, I guess we'll have to take her in and raise her."

Edward smiled like that was what he wanted to hear. "Ok" he mumbled, "Where will we live?"

I turned my head to the side in confusion, "What do you mean? I thought we would just go home. I know the apartment's small but we were planning on buying a house soon anyway."  
"So you want to go back to Portland?" he questioned quickly.

I began to nod but Esme interrupted, "You can't go back to Portland!" she screamed.

I turned my head quickly to look at her, "Why?"

"You have to think about Paige too" she said gently.

"I am."

"Then did you think about this" Esme questioned, "How will Paige see Alice? Will you drive her up here weekly? Or how about when Alice wakes up, Alice will want to see her daughter but she'll be in a different state! You can't keep moving her around; she needs to be in a stable, loving home right now."

"Oh" I mumbled looking at the ground, I hadn't thought about that.

"Think about it this way" Esme continued softer, "If for some reason you were in the hospital and lets just say that Alice was the only one that was able to take Noah, would you want her taking him 4 ½ hours away from you?"

I continued to stare at the ground as I slowly shook my head no. Edward tightened his grip around me and pulled me closer. "It's up to you love" he whispered in my ear, "Whatever you want."

I leaned back against him and thought for awhile, "At least for now, I guess we can stay here. We'll see what happens; I'm on maternity leave anyway so I won't miss any work."

I work for a smaller local newspaper in Portland, they where giving me 6 months off starting in September but when Noah came early they told me that they'll just add on two extra months.

I looked at Edward who was grimacing, then it hit me. "You can't miss work" I murmured, he nodded. "Then why are we talking about this, we need to go home."

He shook his head, "**I** need to go home, you on the other hand need to be here right now."

"But Edward," I cried, "I can't do this without you. I need you, I need you Edward."

He chuckled and wiped a tear from my eye, "You're stronger than you think you are. Don't worry; you can always call; as soon as you need me I'll be here. And every weekend I'll come back."

I nodded but continued to fight back tears, "I don't know if I can do this on my own Edward. At least the taking care of the kids' part, I don't know how."

Esme laughed lightly, "I saw you today with Paige, you have nothing to worry about, but if it makes you feel any better I'll help you anytime. Heck, I'll even get up with Noah at night if you want."

I smiled, "Thanks Esme. Are you guys sure that your ok with us staying here, otherwise I'm sure we could stay with Renee and Phil."

"Don't be silly Bella" Carlisle said, it was the first time he had spoken throughout this. I had almost forgot he was here. "We have more than enough room for all of you. Our house is empty without the boys, we would be more than happy to have you."

I gave him a shy smile, "Are you sure?"

He rolled his eyes and smiled, "You are family Bella, this is your house too."

"Thank you" I said humbly.

The others continued to talk and Esme gushed over Noah, again. I leaned back against Edward and let sleep take over me. After awhile I came around enough to realize I was no longer on the couch, actually I was floating in the air. Well not really but Edward was carrying me to the steps.

"Put me down" I yawned trying to be stern. Edward just laughed. "I'm not a child Edward, put me down. You're going to hurt yourself."

"Bella, you're no more than a feather to me" he laughed kissing my forehead.

I closed my eyes but continued to talk, "What kind of feathers have you seen in you're lifetime? 'Cause as far as I know a feather doesn't weigh this much. Edward just put me down before you hurt yourself."

He chuckled, "Bella, I've carried you before and I didn't get hurt. Nothings changed."

I rolled my eyes, "Expect for the fact that I just had your baby and I've gained weight."

"So are you insulting my strength now?" he smiled.  
I put my hand up in frustration. "No Edward…just put me down, I want to walk."

He laughed again, "Fine, let's make a deal. I'll put you down when you keep your eyes open for a minute."

I smiled, "Fine, deal." I slowly opened my eyes and looked at Edward. I could spend years just looking into that beautiful face but my body had other plans. I fought against my eyelids but in the end they won out.

I laid my head back in defeat. "Carry me away prince charming" I teased.

"My pleasure, my love" he said happily.

I shivered as Edward's warm arms were replaced with a cold bed. I spread my arms out in a search for Edward, but didn't find him. "Edward" I called, "Where are you?"

He chuckled as he crawled into bed beside me, "Right here love." He wrapped his arms around me and I felt every muscle in my body relax.

"Where's Noah?" I asked half asleep.

"In his crib on my side of the bed" Edward said into my hair.

"Move him by me" I said followed by another yawn, "It'll be easy to get up with him."  
I felt Edward shake his head, "I'm going to get up with him, you're overly exhausted. Don't worry about a thing; sleep in as long as you want. I don't care if you sleep all day."

"Edward" I groaned, "You don't hear him" I yawned again snuggling up closer to Edward.

"That's because he's always been next to you. Don't worry about anything, just get a good nights sleep" he said followed by a quick peck on the lips which ended way too quickly.

"Thanks Edward" I mumbled as I feel deeper into unconsciousness.

"Good night love" was the last thing I heard him say before I feel asleep.

When I woke up the next morning or should I say afternoon, since it was 2. I took a quick shower and got dressed in the only other clothes I brought with me.

I tried to do something with my hair, but gave up and threw it into a pony.

I ran quickly down the steps to find my baby, no surprise I found him in Esme's arms fast asleep. Edward was reading the newspaper and Carlisle must have been at the hospital.

I sat down next to Edward, who slowly lowered the paper to see me.

"Well good morning love" he said giving me a quick kiss. "Did you sleep well?"

I smiled, "I always sleep well with you next to me."

He laughed, "Except for the fact that you didn't even notice when I left this morning."

I rolled my eyes and slapped him playfully. "Hey, where's Paige?" I asked realizing that she wasn't down here.

"She went to her room to get something, actually that was awhile ago, maybe I should go check on her" he said with his voice getting more uneasy towards the end.

I shook my head, "I'll go, read your paper."

And with that I got up to go look for Paige. It wasn't that hard, I got to the third floor and spotted her staring at some old pictures.

She slowly turned her head to look at me. "Is that you and my mom?" she asked innocently.

I went over to see what picture she was talking about. It was one from Renee's wedding, we were both dancing and Alice had her head thrown back like she was laughing super hard. I smiled and nodded, "Yeah Paige, that's us."

"How about that one?" she asked pointing at one down the hall.

I moved behind her and gave her a small smile. "Yep and that was her first car" I said pointing at the yellow Porsche in the background.

"But it's so nice" she said weakly not tearing her eyes away from the picture.

Not knowing what to say I just shrugged hoping it would pass, which thankfully it did.

Paige continued to look down the row of pictures, "Are these all of you guys."

I had been down this hallway many times and knew without looking that they were. Some where just us, others included Edward, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie.

Paige stared at me intently as she waited for an answer. I simply nodded; she turned and pointed to another picture. "Who are those other people? I know that one's my mom that one's you and that one's Edward but who are the other three?"

"Well" I started looking at the picture, "That's Edward's brother, Emmett and his wife, Rosalie. And the other one, next to your mom is Jasper."

"Why is my mom sitting in his lap?" she asked.

I closed my eyes not sure on how to answer it. It was a question only a child would ask you. I decided to tell her the truth, "Jasper was your mom's boyfriend" I told her.

"You mean she had a different boyfriend before my dad?"

"I guess so" I answered truthfully.

"Did she used to live here?" she asked looking around at the big house.

"Yes she did. That was her room, right there" I said pointing at the door to our right.

"You guys look so happy" she whispered touching the pictures.

"She was my best friend."

"I've never seen my mom this happy" Paige said looking down and the ground.

"You're mom was always happy" I smiled playing with her hair.

Paige turned around suddenly with an angry look on her face. "Why didn't you come see us?" she pouted. Shocked by her change in attitude I didn't answer. "If she was happy with you, why didn't you make sure she was happy somewhere else?"

"I called her Paige; I wanted to come see you but…"

"But what?" she cried, "I thought you said she was you're best friend?"

"She was, but Paige, listen it's not that easy."

"Why not?" she drilled. "My mom more than anything, needed a friend, why where you there?"

"Paige I called her all the time, she never answered" I said trying to calm her.

But instead she got angrier, "It doesn't matter if you called, if she didn't answer you should have gone and found out why!"

"It's not that easy Paige" I said kneeling down to her level, "I didn't know where you where. She left Paige, a very long time ago. With no word on where she was going or if she would be back. I didn't even get a good-bye. She just left."

"Why?" she asked a little calmer.

"I don't know. I haven't talked to her since."

"Did you guys get in a fight? Because I get in fights with my friends all the time."

I laughed, "Not that I can remember."

"Oh" she said dropping the subject. We both stood there for a couple on minutes looking at the old pictures and memories that went with them.

"This was my mom's room?" Paige asked standing by the door I had pointed at earlier. I nodded. "Can I go in there?" she asked hesitantly.

I shrugged, "Go ahead, I haven't been in there in years."

I followed after Paige and realized that no one else had been in there in years either.

Everything was exactly how Alice had left it; dirty clothes in a pile, bed unmade and even the blanket I had used was still draped over the couch.

"This was her room?" Paige asked shocked.

I smiled, "I was jealous of her too."

"But this is bigger than our entire apartment!" she said twirling around, just like Alice had done, when she first moved in. "Why are there clothes all over the floor?"

I grimaced, "I guess when she left, it hurt us to much to come in here and this is how she left it."

"But she never lets my room be dirty" she complained.

I shook my head and laughed. We both took a look around the room. I started to dust and wipe cobwebs out of the corners. When I noticed a vase of dark and wilted roses but in there mists one was standing tall.

I felt it, it was fake; confused about what this was for I searched for a card or note or something that would give me a clue.

On the floor I found a crumpled piece of paper. I unfolded it and it read…

_**I love you and I will wait for you until the last petal hits the floor – Jas**_

Tears came to my eyes, I remembered finding this years ago when Alice was still here. But I couldn't help but think if this was still true, all these years later.

"Bella?" Paige called from the door, "I'm going to go downstairs."

I jumped, somewhat startled. "I'm right behind you Paige."

She nodded and waited for me. I smiled at Paige as she turned to run downstairs.

I strayed for a moment and slowly closed the door. The last thing I saw of that room was the one lone rose standing tall, forever waiting. All the other's around it gave up and hung low in defeat, even though it was the only one left, it was proudly standing tall. Just like Jasper has done.

We all had given up, accepted the fact that Alice was gone and we wouldn't see her again. But Jasper didn't, even though he was alone, he waited. I don't know if he still loves her or if he just wants to see her again, but I can tell you that he's the only one that never gave up.

Like I said my life is changing around me. I can't dwell on the past or think to far in the future because I'll get lost in the present. I'm taking it a day at a time and hopefully things will just fall into place.

**Please review so I know people are still interested.**


	21. Auntie Bella

**For lack of a better idea I'm skipping ahead in time…2 months later.**

**I'm working as fast as I can to get these out, please don't make me into a pie. Haha :)**

**For anyone who is wondering these are everyone's current ages…**

**Alice – 27 **

**Paige – 8**

**Edward – 27**

**Bella – 24 (almost 25) **

**Noah – 2 months**

**Rose – 27**

**Emmett – 28 **

**Owen – 1**

**Jasper – 26**

**Cole – 10**

I never thought that I would have to walk these halls again. I had spent twelve years of my life waiting for the day that I would be done and never have to come back. But here I am enrolling Paige into the 3rd grade.

It's been 2 months since Alice's accident. She's made it through numerous surgeries not including the one to repair the hole in her heart. They're waiting for Alice to come out of the coma and Carlisle says that she's doing well and should wake up in no time.

I'm still getting to know Paige, which is helping me get to know Alice again. It amazes me that everyday I learn something new about them.

I held Paige's hand as we walked through the maze of hallways trying to find the main office as I let my thoughts wander.

"What if the other kids don't like me?" she asked cautiously looking at the ground after awhile.

I stopped walking and knelt down by her side. "That won't happen Paige. There's nothing not to like about you" I smiled brushing a strand of hair away from her ice blue eyes.

"But I won't have any friends. I don't know anyone here" she pouted not pealing her eyes from the ground.

"You'll make friend honey, and you'll know Cole" I assured her. After all her and Cole had become inseparable in the last month. They were always together.

She smiled but then shook her head, "Cole's in fifth grade. I won't see him." Her smile quickly turned into something of fear, "What if the other kids are mean?"

I put my hand on her cheek, "Cole will watch out for you. He'll make sure the others are nice to you."

My words seemed to reassure her, she seemed to relax. I stood up and grabbed her hand. "Anyway, were just signing you up today. School doesn't start for another 2 days."

She nodded and we went into the main office.

"Well hello there" a sweet old voice said from behind a desk, "I'll be able to help you in a minute, just sit tight please."  
I nodded and looked at Paige who was slowly starting to relax.

An old nurse appeared in front of the desk. "Bella Swan?" she questioned.

I have gotten used to people calling me by my maiden name while in Forks, I guess no one remembered I had gotten married. I smiled and looked at her trying to figure out who she was. "Yes?" I questioned.

"I would remember you from anywhere. You were in my office all the time. I don't think I've ever seen someone so accident prone" she laughed.

"Ms. Heilm? I asked seeming to remember her.

"Yes sweetie. I suppose I've aged a bit" she grinned.

Of course how could I forget, she was the nurse when I went here. Let's just say that PE and the schools many stairs led to many trips to her when I was a kid.

"So, what can I help you with today?" she asked.

"I need to get Paige registered for school" I smiled patting Paige on the shoulder.

"And what grade would Paige be starting?" she asked never looking at Paige.

"Third" Paige said quickly.

The smile quickly left Ms. Heilm's face, "Oh, um I didn't know you had a daughter this old. Time must be escaping me, I would have only thought you to be 23 or 24."

"Oh, I am 24" I corrected her.

"I don't remember you having a kid in high…"

I raised my hand quickly to silence her. "Paige isn't my daughter" I said quickly.

She breathed a sigh of relief, "Step daughter?"

"No actually, um…"

Paige smiled and stepped forward, "My mom was in an accident and so while she gets better Bella and Edward are taking care of me" she said madder of factly.

I smiled, I couldn't have said it better myself.

Ms. Heilm smiled at Paige, "Well that was nice of them" she turned to me, "Would that be Edward Cullen? Now that I think of it I did hear of you marrying one of the Cullen boys."

I blushed. Paige nodded excitedly, "Yep, the Cullens have a HUGE house. They're so nice!"

Ms. Heilm smiled in a way only grandmothers could, "The Cullen's have always been nice…I'm sorry, what were you here for again?"  
"To get Paige signed up for school" I reminded her.

She closed her eyes, "That's right, alright you just have to fill out a few papers and then you'll be all set."

"Ok" I mumbled taking the papers.

"So Paige, what's your favorite subject?" Ms. Heilm asked.

"Art!" Paige blurted out quickly. I heard Ms. Heilm chuckle and continue to ask her more questions.

As I looked down the sheet of paper in front of me I realized I didn't know the answers to half the questions. I didn't know her history, I didn't know if she had this shot or that one, I didn't know if she was allergic to anything or her social security number or how well she did in school.

"Hey Paige" I called, "When's your birthday?" I felt stupid for asking such a simple question, but I honestly didn't know.

"January 18th" she answered like it was no big deal, thank God.

I filled out as much as I could and attached the number of Paige's social worker with a note telling them to call her for the rest of the information.

I thanked Ms. Heilm and headed towards my car.

"I like her" Paige smiled as she hopped into the back seat of the car.

I chuckled, "She was always nice when I was in school."

"Wow, she's been there a long time then" Paige said quietly like I wasn't supposed to hear.

"Are you calling me old then?" I laughed reaching back to tickle her.

She chuckled, "Maybe, my moms old."

I turned around again to continue driving, "Well, I'm three years younger than your mom."

"Really?" she questioned.

I nodded, "Yep. Edward's the same age as her though."

"Oh" she mumbled, "I thought you were all the same age."  
"Nope I'm the youngest."

"So what about Emmett and Rosalie, how old are they?"

"Rose is the same age as Edward and your mom and Emmett's a year older" I explained.

"Oh, I see" she smiled as the conversation ended. We drove in silence for a while. I took in the sights of the town I learned hate. But it wasn't really the town that I hated so much it's what happened while I was there and everything about it reminded me of her.

"Aren't we going home?" Paige questioned when we turned off the main road and into a neighborhood.

I shook my head, "We have to go and get Noah and we're eating at Renee and Phil's tonight."

"Will Cole be there?" she asked full of hope.

I grinned, "I think so."

"Yes!" she giggled jumping in her seat.

The car was barely in park and Paige was already out and at the front door. I followed her in and to the back porch.

Cole was feeding Noah a bottle. "What a good uncle you are" I laughed.

Cole just stuck his tongue out at me. "Sibling love I can feel it" Renee chuckled from behind me.

I turned and gave her a hug. "Was he ok?" I asked pointing at Noah.

Renee rolled her eyes, "He's a baby Bella, what's the worst he can do, spit up on my new couch?"

"Well, I…never mind. Thanks for watching him."

"He's my grandson, I'll always watch him. It's perfect because I can hold him and play with him, but as soon as night comes I get to ship him back off to you and you get to deal with all the tough stuff" she laughed.

I rolled my eyes sinking into a patio chair, "Don't remind me. I've had enough sleepless nights."

"When's Edward coming back up next?" she asked cautiously.

"I don't know" I said putting my hands in the air, "He's been on call the last couple of weekends, I think he is again this weekend."

Edward had planned on coming back every weekend and he did for the first two weeks but since then he was been unable to get off or gets stuck with being on call. So I've been on my own and missing him like crazy.

"Bella" Renee said calmly putting her arm around me, "If not seeing him is bothering you, then you need to talk to him."

"He has to work mom, he'd have the same schedule if I was home. It's just been hard lately. I never thought that I'd be doing this baby thing by myself. I haven't gotten more than 3-4 hours of sleep a night. That kid just doesn't like to sleep."

"He's just colicky Bella, he'll grow out of it."

"I know that, but the doctors said that some babies don't grow out of it until there eighteen months old. I don't think I can handle that many sleepless nights."

"Talk to Edward Bella. You know he doesn't like it when your upset. He'll come help you."

"That's the thing, he'll come back here and take more time off from work. Which he can't do, his boss doesn't like it. He'll risk loosing his job to make me happy and he loves that job. I can't do that."

Renee sighed, "Well, I still think you should talk to him. I didn't with Charlie and look where that got me."

"Mom" I screamed throwing my hands in the air. "It's nothing like that; I'm just overwhelmed and stressed. That's it."

"Are you sure Bella?"

"Ugh!" I sighed taking Noah out of Cole's arms to burp him. "I'm sure mom. I'm just complaining, you know me." Cole ran off into the backyard with Paige.

"Yeah I know you Bella, that's why I think that there's something else that you're not telling me."

I rolled my eyes as I readjusted Noah to continue feeding him, "I'm fine, we're fine."

Renee sighed walking away. "You're so stubborn, just like your father" She continued to mumble to herself about how stubborn I was.

I finished feeding Noah and went outside to enjoy one of the rare sunny days in Forks. Cole and Paige were playing soccer in the backyard and Phil was grilling burgers by the garage.

I sat down of the back step and let the sun hit my face. Noah squinted when he tried to open his eyes. As the sun hit his little body he seemed to relax.

I laughed, "Don't get too used to buddy, it'll be gone tomorrow. And as long as we're in Forks you probably won't see the sun again."

I leaned down to kiss his forehead and watched Cole and Paige kick a soccer ball around in the backyard.

I watched as Paige's long black hair fluttered around behind her as she ran after the ball. And for the first time I noticed hits of orange in it as the sun hit it.

It took me a while to remember why it seemed so eerie to me. Her father, the one at the hospital who had denied me the right to see Alice had orange hair. I shuddered at the thought, so far in everything Paige did and all her features were Alice's. I never wanted Paige to be in anyway like her father. He was not a good man.

"Come and eat kids" Renee called from the door pulling me away from my thoughts. Cole and Paige came running as I set Noah back into his car seat to eat.

Dinner passed uneventfully and pretty silently. Few words were exchanged except for the one's between Cole and Paige. They kind of reminded me of Edward and I when we were younger.

xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

"Bella, I found some more of your old clothes in the basement. There in your room if you want them" Renee explained as we did the dishes.

You see. I never really thought that I would be staying in Forks when I left my house two months ago. I only brought with me an extra pair of clothes and a toothbrush.

When Edward came back he brought with everything necessary for Noah but kind of forgot about clothes for me. So I asked Renee to try to find some of my old stuff, hopefully some will still fit.

"Thanks mom" I smiled as I loaded the last dish into the dishwasher.

She nodded and disappeared into the living room. She was still frustrated with me, it happened a lot when I was a kid and she would just stay away from me for a while until she cooled down a bit. It was normal for us.

xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

"Bella?" Paige started unsure as if she really wanted to ask me.

"Yes sweetie" I smiled tucking her into bed.

"What's an uncle?" she asked cautiously.

My smiled widened as I brush through her hair with my fingers. "An uncle would be your parent's brothers. Why?"

"Well I heard you tell Cole he was a good uncle. I didn't know what that is" she said sheepishly.

"Well Cole is my brother which makes him Noah's uncle."

She nodded, "Can a girl be an uncle too?"

I grinned, "No but they can be aunts."

She sat up quickly and looked me straight in the eye, "What do aunts and uncles do?"

I smiled moving to sit on the edge of her bed, "I guess they are people who love you, care for you and help you."

She looked at me like she wanted to say something but didn't know how to say it. "Um…could you um…could you be…could you be my aunt?" she stuttered.

I looked at her perplexed, not sure what to say. But my mind slowly came around to realize that it didn't I didn't need to be blood related to be her aunt. It doesn't matter as long as they love you and care for you they can be your aunt or uncle.

I must have taken to long as I thought because Paige became red in the face and was looking down as she murmured, "I just thought you could because you are taking care of me and helping me and you love me like my mommy does."

I smiled as I was on the verge of tears, "I guess so Paige. As long as someone loves you and takes care of you they can be your aunt or uncle." I wiped a few tears from my eyes, "Now, you better get to sleep, it's late."  
She nodded as she lay back down and I tucked her in again. "Good night Paige" I whispered as I turned the light off.  
"Night Auntie Bella" she whispered under her breath.

I smiled as I shut her door and headed downstairs.

I found both Esme and Carlisle in the kitchen. Esme was making Noah a bottle and Carlisle was sitting at the counter.

When he saw me he got up and ran to me with the biggest smile I have ever seen. He pulled me into a big hug which lifted me off the ground. I laughed and asked, "What's got you so happy?"

His smile just got bigger. "She's awake Bella!" he said full of joy.

"What" I questioned.

"Bella! She's awake, she's alive. Alice is out of the coma" he screamed with the smile never leaving his face. I turned to truly see Esme's face for the first time, it mirrored Carlilses.

"She's awake?" I whispered. They both nodded and I felt a smile spread across my face too. "She's awake" I yelled hugged Carlisle again, "She's awake!"


	22. Alive but not living

**FYI: I was thinking and listening to the song Because of You by Kelly Clarkson when I wrote how Bella was feeling.**

**Previously: **

I found both Esme and Carlisle in the kitchen. Esme was making Noah a bottle and Carlisle was sitting at the counter.

When he saw me he got up and ran to me with the biggest smile I have ever seen. He pulled me into a big hug which lifted me off the ground. I laughed and asked, "What's got you so happy?"

His smile just got bigger. "She's awake Bella!" he said full of joy.

"What" I questioned.

"Bella! She's awake, she's alive. Alice is out of the coma" he screamed with the smile never leaving his face. I turned to truly see Esme's face for the first time; it mirrored Carlilses.

"She's awake?" I whispered. They both nodded and I felt a smile spread across my face too. "She's awake" I yelled hugging Carlisle again, "She's awake!"

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Carlisle and I pulled apart, I looked him straight in the eye and pleaded, "Can I go see her?"

His smile faded a little as his doctor role took over. "Bella" he started, "It's 10:30 at night. It's late and she needs her rest; anyway visiting hours are over, you can go in the morning."

My smile faded too as I looked down disappointed. But knowing that I didn't have a choice I smiled and nodded to Carlisle to let him know I understood.

"I know you want to see her Bella but just wait until morning. It isn't that far away" Carlisle advised.

I sighed, it seemed like I was always waiting when it came to Alice.

Carlisle laughed, "You've waited these last two months and now you can't wait another couple hours?" I shrugged as I took my baby from Esme. "You really aren't a patient person are you?" he continued.

I smiled grabbing Noah's bottle, "You've known me for how long and you just figured that out?"

Esme giggled and Carlisle shook his head. "No, I did. I just thought that Edward may have rubbed off on you after all this time" he replied.

"Nope and I don't think he ever will" I laughed.

Carlisle chuckled, "You should get some rest. The morning will come quicker that way."

Little did he know that morning would never come quick enough for me with Noah getting up every couple hours and screaming continuously. But I nodded anyways and gave him a small smile. "Alright, good-night" I whispered giving them both a kiss on the cheek and headed up to our room.

The night passed surprisingly fast and for the first time I didn't mind getting up with Noah.

It was around 6 when I decided I couldn't sleep any longer. I tiptoed to the bathroom so not to wake Noah up. I took a quick shower and threw on an old pair of sweats and T. I tried to do something with my hair but gave up so I put it up into a messy bun.

When I was done I made my way quietly across the bedroom and into the hallway. I met Esme on the steps.

I wanted to get going to the hospital but I didn't feel like taking the kids with, much less waiting for them to wake up.

"Esme" I started, "Will you watch…"

But she cut me off. She knew how badly I wanted to go see Alice. "Go Bella" she smiled. "I've got the kids." My smile grew as I hugged her. She gestured towards the door and whispered, "Go."

I couldn't have felt more elated. I continuously thanked her as I ran down the steps and into my car. As I backed out I noticed a car covered with a sheet and layers of dust. I usually shuddered when I saw this but for the first time, in a long time I didn't.

Alice's little yellow Porsche didn't bother me right now. It actually brought back good memories. For the first time I thought of the all the different times we did something together. All those different days that made us close, not just the one day that tore us apart.

I sped down the main roads to the hospital, full of joy. Hopefully I would finally get answers!

As I approached the hospital my heart began to speed up and my mind was turning me against all the decisions that I had made in the last couple of months.

"What if she doesn't want you here?" my mind taunted, "She left you for a reason. You should have just stayed at home with Edward; you wouldn't be in this mess if you did."

"No!" I yelled shaking my head. "This is where I'm supposed to be. She wants to see me. She needs me."

"But what if she doesn't? What if she never did?"

I shook my head harder, "No! No! No! I've waited this long, I'm risking my marriage for her! I'm going to see her."

"Well if it doesn't go as planned, don't say I didn't tell you so."

I grabbed my purse and headed into the hospital pushing that nagging voice in the corner of my mind away. It was just me doubting myself. I could do this.

I took baby steps down the hallway. I had been to this room a thousand times before, but today I didn't know what to expect.

I slowly approached her room and peaked around the corner. Most of the machines that she was hooked up to originally were now gone. The only one left was the one to monitor her heart and a small IV. She appeared asleep so I took a seat in the chair next to her bed in which I had already spent many hours.

I watched time pass slowly. A half hour after I arrived a nurse came in to check on things.

"She's very tried, you have to let her sleep" she reminded me. I nodded in understanding. "Will you page the nurse's desk when she wakes up please?"

I nodded again until I found my voice. "Sure" I said weakly.

"It shouldn't be long; she's slept soundly for awhile now. Just be patient."

I laughed, "Easy for you to say… You haven't waited for 10 years." I said the last part quietly, mostly for my sake. But she must have heard. She gave me a confused look and then turned to leave.

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It was now 9:30; I had been at the hospital for 3 hours. I had only left her side to get coffee. I wanted answers, and I wanted them now.

I had already drained 4 cups and I was working on my 5th. I watched Alice's chest rise up and down on its own and the color slowly return to her face. Overall she looked a thousand times better than when I had first seen her, but she still had a lot to go through.

Suddenly the moment I had been waiting for; not only for the last two months, but the last 10 years. Alice's eyes slowly fluttered open to reveal murky blue colored eyes. They definitely weren't as bright as I remembered but I assumed they would come back in time.

"Alice" I whispered with a smile on my face. Her eyes flashed to me as she tried to lift her head, but failed. It looked like she was putting all her strength into raising her head a couple inches but getting nowhere.

As she tried to move the color was quickly draining from her face and her breathing was getting heavy, like she had just run a marathon or something.

"Nurse!" I screamed running to the doorway. "Help, I need help!"

I immediately had four nurses at my side. "What's wrong?" one asked out of breath.

"Why can't she move?" I asked worried, "Every time she does she looks like she'll pass out."

An older nurse waved the other nurses away and walked into the room with me. She wrapped her pudgy little arms around my shoulder and smiled, "We don't know how much damage the stroke did to Alice's body. Right now she is completely paralyzed."

I looked at her like she had a third eye in the center of her forehead. "But is there hope right? That she will walk again?" I managed to stutter out.

She smiled again, "Dr. Cullen is certain that she will gain mobility of her neck and arms again. But there is a chance that she will be paralyzed from the waist down. I'm sorry."

I nodded and went back over to Alice. "Are you in any pain?" I asked her. There was no answer. "Are you mad at me?" I questioned, again no answer. I felt tears begin to build in the corner of my eyes.

I had just wasted two months of my life, to find out that she won't even talk to me. I grabbed my purse and headed towards the door.

"Wait" someone called from the doorway. I turned to see the nurse looking back at me confused. "Did no one tell you?"

"Tell me what?" I questioned taking small, slow steps back towards her.

She took a deep breath, "After a person has a stroke, many times they loose many abilities that have to be relearned. They're like babies almost. Simple things like talking, walking or feeding themselves are a lot of the times lost."

I turned my head to the side in confusion, "So she can't talk either? Will she be a vegetable for the rest of her life?"

She laughed and shook her head, "No. Her brain is still all there, she understands what you tell her. She will in time talk again. Sometimes it's like a light switch gets turned on and they remember how to on their own. Other times everything will have to be taught again."

"But how are you sure that she understands you?" I asked.

"Follow me" she smiled motioning for me to go back to Alice's side. "Alice" she asked, "Can you understand me?"

Alice blinked twice. I looked at the nurse, "What does that mean?"

"One blink means no, two blinks means yes. Watch, Do you know who Dr. Cullen is?" Again Alice blinked twice. "Did you once live with the Cullens?" Alice again blinked twice.

"Do you remember the accident that caused you to be in here?" the nurse asked her. Alice looked at me and then back at the nurse and blinked once.

The nurse smiled and nodded. "She understands you and can communicate. You just have to put it in yes or no questions." She explained.

I nodded, but little did she know that the questions I wanted answered couldn't be answered by a simple yes or no. "I'll leave you two alone. Dr. Cullen will be in shortly to check on things."

And with that she was gone. "Alice" I whispered. Her eyes darted to my face and again I knew she understood me. "Do you know who I am?" I knew it was a stupid question but I needed to make sure.

I waited, one blink, two blink. That meant yes, I sighed in relief. I looked into her wonderful blue eyes which I hadn't seen in so long. "Do you know why I'm here?"

Again I waited, one blink: no. I chuckled and shook my head, "Either to I."

"Honestly Alice, I don't know what to say" I said looking at the ground. "I want to pretend like everything is good but in reality it's not. Do you have any idea how much you hurt me?"

…One blink. Of course she didn't, how would she know that after she left I totally shut down. That I was alive but I didn't really live.

I slowly looked up to meet her gaze realizing that I had to tell her. And hopefully if I upset her, by the time she was able to talk to me again, she would have calmed down a little. It's pathetic, I know but that was my reasoning.

"You have no idea how you affected us Alice. No matter how much trouble you were in or what you were doing, we still would have loved you. We would have helped you. Do you know how long it took us to get Esme out of bed after you left?" I asked trying to remain calm.

She blinked once. "Three weeks!" I said a little louder than I should have since she jumped a little. "She wouldn't leave her room for three weeks! And for at least a year after, every time I looked at her all I saw was sadness. She still isn't the same, though she puts on a good face. She's terrified of loosing someone again. She considers you her daughter Alice. She loves you so much and you just left her, us." My voice was slowly growing louder as I realized, again how much she affected us.

"And Carlisle, he began spending almost all his time here at the hospital. And when he wasn't here he was in his den at home. We never saw him and when we did he would rarely speak.

"Emmett" I said shaking my head, "I actually saw him cry. Can you imagine that, he's such a big, tough guy and I saw him break down and cry all because his little sister ran away. Rose became distant too. We're not really friends anymore. I don't know if that's because we grew apart or that when we are together we remind each other of you."

Alice looked away form me, to the corner of the room. I could tell that she didn't really want to hear this, but she needed to.

I now had silent tears streaming down my face. I wiped them away quickly and continued, "I can't tell you much about Edward because he would put on a tough front in front of me. He believed that he needed to stay strong for me. But I can tell you how much you changed my life."

More tears poured down my face and I reached for the tissue box next to her bed. "For the longest time I blamed myself for everything" I started, "I thought that maybe if I would have gone to Seattle with you or talked to you sooner or if I wouldn't have gone to Charlie's, you never would have left." She looked at me and blinked slowly once, telling me; no, it wouldn't have helped.

"Did you ever think of anyone else, or did you just see your problems?" I asked angrily. "Because if you would ever stop to think about someone else for once. Or looked at how much we all care for you, you would never have left!

"Because of you, I felt worthless" I screamed, "I felt like there was something wrong with me; that I couldn't be a good friend because my best friend in the world just got up and abandoned me. I was scared to go out and meet new people because I thought that they would just hurt me like you did. I refused to trust anyone, not even myself!"

Her eyes darted to the wall opposite me but I didn't care. Tears began to fall faster from my eyes and my breathing became heavy, "After you left I played it safe, so that I wouldn't get hurt again. But in that I didn't really live. I didn't act like a normal teenager. I stayed home most nights and played with Cole. My only friend was Edward.

"I couldn't go shopping or see a yellow car. It even hurt me to go to the Cullen's house. Everything reminded me of you, and I missed you Alice. More than you could ever imagine. I tried to forget you, move on, and accept the fact that you were never coming back, but I couldn't. You were the first person that I trusted and besides Edward, and the last. Because of you I don't know how to let people in, or trust them" I cried. The tears were coming faster than ever now.

"I am ashamed of my life" I sobbed, "I haven't actually lived since you left. I'm here and alive but up until a couple months ago, I didn't have anything worth living for. I guess in all honesty, I'm scared. I'm scared of having friends, to let people in but most of all I'm scared of getting hurt again."

I continued to sob and buried my head in my hands. After awhile I slowly looked up at her and told her something that I would never had said if I wasn't so angry, "You ruined my life. And that's something that can never be fixed."

Her eyes shot down to the ground and tears began flowing down her face.

"Why? Why Alice?" I bawled. "Why'd you leave? Why couldn't I see you when you had Paige? Why didn't you answer my calls? Why haven't I seen you in 10 years?" I knew she couldn't answer me, but I wanted her to.

"Did you forget about me?" I asked gritting my teeth together. I saw one blink and then a nock on the door and Carlisle entered, not sure if there was another blink to come or if that was it. No, she forgot about me.

He must have noticed the tears on both Alice and my face. "I'm sorry" he said quickly, "Am I interrupting something?"

I wiped the tears from my face hastily and shook my head, "No it's fine Carlisle. I was just leaving."

He looked at me worried, "Are you sure Bella. I can always come back later."

I shook my head again, "I'll see you at home." And before he could say anything else I grabbed my purse and headed towards the parking lot.

My mind was racing as I followed the wined roads back to the Cullens. I wasn't sure if I had said the right things. I honestly can't remember exactly what I said to her. My mind and mouth were saying two different things.

It amazed me that no matter how mad she made me or how much hurt she caused me or my family. I couldn't hate her. Well hate is a strong word, but I still couldn't seem to stay angry for long.

I mean I was always angry but more than anything I felt the yearning to know why. Why did things turn out the way they did? I just needed to know the reason why!

I pulled into the Cullen's garage around 2. I debated telling Paige that her mom was awake or not. I knew that if I told her I would have to go back to the hospital and face her again and this time, remain calm. But on the other hand Paige deserved to know.

I was still debating when I entered the house. I could hear voices coming from the living room.

"No, you can't be her!" Paige laughed.

"Why not" said a strangely familiar voice.

"Cause you're a b-o-y" she sang. I hung my coat up as quickly as I could. Who was this man playing with my…daughter. I hate to admit it, since she isn't but to me she almost feels like my daughter.

"Then who could I be" the man asked.

"Hmmm…" she paused, "You can be him Jasper. He's a boy like you."

"Jasper?" I questioned making my way into the living room. His head popped up from behind the couch and a Barbie doll in hand.

"Hey Bella" he smiled waving Ken in the air.

I laughed "Playing Barbies huh?"

His face turned bright red as he placed the Ken doll carefully behind his back. He looked at me sternly and whispered, "If you tell Emmett I swear, I'll…"

"Don't worry; your secret is safe with me!" I laughed giving him a big hug. "I haven't seen you in forever! What have you been up to, you're impossible to contact."

"I did what you guys suggested, I got out of Forks for awhile."

I nodded approvingly, "So, where'd you go?"

"New York"

"And…"

"I hated it!" he admitted, "Never going back."

"Oh come on. It couldn't have been that bad" I insisted.

He shook his head, "No, it was terrible. Drunks and beggars on every corner, not to mention the city is HUGE! I got lost too many times to count."

"But doesn't it feel good to get out of here for awhile. Forget about the past?" I asked.

He shrugged, "It numbs the pain for awhile. But as soon as I get back then she shows up again."

"Who showed up?" Paige piped in abandoning a half naked Barbie.

"Oh, um…no one sweetie" I said quickly, "Why don't you go upstairs and make sure you have everything for school tomorrow?"

She shook her head, "I already did…Who?"

I looked at Jasper for help, but he just shrugged. "It's adult talk Paige" I mumbled. A phrase I hated as a kid, but I guess I know why adults use it. "Why don't you go find Esme and help her make dinner?"

I sighed heavily and slowly walked off to the kitchen, but I didn't miss the evil eye she gave me before she turned to corner.

"So thanks for telling me, that you had a son" he said sarcastically.

"You knew I was pregnant" I retorted.

"Yes, but according to what I was told. You're still supposed to be pregnant."

I took a deep breath. I really didn't want to fight right now. "Jas, we tried getting a hold of you. But you never answered us."

"I left my cell here" he mumbled.

"So…wait a minute you're trying to change the subject. Not going to work" I said shaking my head.

"It was a good try" he said softly.

I laughed, "But not good enough." He laughed too.

After a minute we both stopped laughing and sat in silence. "Have you seen her?" I asked cautiously after awhile.

He shook his head, "I haven't made it up there yet. It's weird I went to New York to try to forget her, move on, and then when I get back. She's here."

I smiled, "It's kind of surreal isn't it?"

He laughed, "You have no idea."

I shook my head looking back over at the kitchen door. "I think I may."

He looked over at the door too. "Is the" he started and then paused. "Is the kid… hers?" he questioned.

I nodded, "I'm to watch her until Alice can."

"I assumed so" he said taking slow even breaths while looking up at the ceiling fighting back what looked like tears.

"Jasper?" I asked gradually, "Do you love her?"

A small smiled appeared on his face as he answered me confidently, "Always have Bella, nothing will ever change that."

"You need to tell her that" I whispered putting my arm around him.

"What if she doesn't feel the same way?" he asked.

"You'll never know unless you try."

He nodded and stared at the wall of awhile. After what seemed like hours, he turned to look at me. "It's strange. I've waited for this day for a long time, and then it finally comes and I don't know what I would even say to her."

"You couldn't do any worse than I did" I chuckled.

"What do you mean?"

"Let's just say that she now feels terrible for leaving" I said timidly.

"What did you say to her?" he asked looking at me confused.

I looked at the ground and mumbled, "The truth. How Esme wouldn't get out of bed and Carlisle would work all the time. Or how I say Emmett cry."

"Did you say anything about me?"

I glued my eyes to the ground and shook my head. "I thought it would be best if she heard it from you."

"I don't know if I can" he admitted turning his head away from me.

I put my hand on his face to turn it back. "You can. If she loved you once she could love you again."

"Think so?" he said a little brighter.

"I know so" I smiled.

"Thanks Bella" he said giving me a hug.

"It'll work out" I whispered wrapping my arms around him.

"You're the best friend a guy could ask for" he chuckled giving me a kiss on the check. I giggled and pulled apart from him.

"Bella?" a voice asked full of hurt.

"Edward!" I smiled running toward him.

He shook his head. "How could you?"

I squinted at cocked my head to the side, "Do what?"

"I think you know" he muttered chucking a bouquet of flowers at the ground and running out the door.

"Edward!" I screamed as I ran after him, "EDWARD!!"

**Problems all over for Bella! Haha…please review.**


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